How to support a friend TTC?

[midwest]

Hi!
We have close friends that are trying to conceive (in their 3rd year of trying). My husband & I have two beautiful children, one birth during their time trying to conceive. I can't really tell them I understand.
From conversations my husband as had with the guy it sounds like they aren't on the same page. She'll go see a doctor and not tell him, then come home and explain what needs to be done without mentioning she went to a doctor. It sounds like the problem could be more him than her, according to him. Most conversations end in fights with them and it doesn't sound like they are going through this together. I can understand that sex is probably not even fun anymore, b/c it's been all about conceiving for 3 years. In addition they have started to go out (bars/drinking), a lot more. My husband and I discussed that if they would just slow down, stop drinking, communicate and concentrate on conceiving it would happen. I don't want this to split them up, either. She doesn't talk about it with anyone (apparently not even her husband anymore)...
So how can we be supportive, especially when we see them going down destructive paths.
I don't want to butt in, but I don't want her to go through this alone either.
Thanks!

 

[tigercub]

I am only in the early stages of TTC but I can already understand where your friends might be headed and why. Sex does become 'less fun' (if you let it) while TTC....can only imagine how it must be after 3 years...

You can't exactly tell them how to make their marriage work while TTC...and they might resent you if you try. The most you can do is be supportive and offer advice if they ask for it/are open to it. If they are regular church-goers you might talk to their church-leader or such.

Just be there for them, this is a tough time and would test even the strongest of marriages. Good luck