How to redirect my anger with co worker

[waldo1]

I have a few coworkers that do nothing but gossip and cause tension between everyone. These are 2 women in thier early to mid 40's [one is my supervisor that i have been friends with for several years] . I am a great deal younger than them but here is the gist.

My girlfriend works there as well and she always does her job well and also as much extra as possible. These two constantly down her and start gossip about her. I ask my supervisor why she participates in this and she either denies it or out and out says she doesnt like her and cuts her hours and never thanks her for anything. She goes to the extent of thanking everyone on shift but her knowing she is the one doing the most this is just out of spite.

Anyway earlier my girlfriend was injured and the first thing was the other woman [trouble maker] says she deserved to get hurt and that servers her right and i hoipe she gets fired.

My first instinc after the past 4 months of this constant junk is to go in tomorrow morning and either tell her to shut her mouth or im afraid i will do something terrible.

I have all this rage and she lies constantly and denies things she says but i need to know how to difuse this before i go over the edge with these people. oh here is some irony. my supervisor hurt her back the same way my girlfriend did but this was a few weeks ago and she told her to just deal with it and find someone yourself to cover the rest of your shift.

I know the first thing is going to be said that we should quit the place but the fact is we love our job [not so much those 2] and we have been there a while and there really isnt to many jobs in this field we are trined for.

so what should i do? i know its not right to be confrontational but i am at my limit here.

 

[Bizzlebin Imperatoris]

Hmm, they likely have some problems which they feel they need to attack other people to lessen. So, maybe befriend both of them as much as possible. Then, after you are friends, invite them all to lunch one day, and bring your friend, and have her talk well to them. If the hate is truly unfounded, something simple like this should solve it.

 

[kerux]

Well, some people just happen to be so unhappy with their own life that they feel better about themselves by talking about someone else. My suggestion would be to simply let the things that are said go in one ear and back out the other, ignoring the gossip. Which I know is hard to do, but at this point, I think this is your best bet. Maybe ask her how she would feel if someone was constantly putting her down every chance they got. It may make her think.

 

[waldo1]

I went to work this morning with the intent to tell this person off in such a way to let her know that if she continues then i was going to let my anger get the best of me and she would have to get what she gets.

Then i walked into the door and she came up to me kissing up to me and being very overly nice. she was asking if my girlfriend was alright and to tell her that she wishes her well????

then it hit me. I actually feel sorry for her! this personis so two faced that she has to conduct her whole life in a manner where she knows that everyone knows she is a liar and troublemaker and she has to offset this by kissing up. i have no idea if the word had gotten back to her that i was extremley angry with her and was fed up with the intent to start a confontation [actually i would never physically hurt anyone especally a woman] but my take on it is she is misserible and is only a friend to those who meet her comiserating needs at that particular time and just tosses them away after she is done. this is truley sad

Thank you for your advice.

 

[MLynn]

Hi Waldo, it seems to me you are in a toxic work environment. It's so hard to confront a co-worker; can you risk losing your job? It can be a tough call. If she is now kissing up to you, you could take advantage of this and ask to meet with her privately over coffee (like in a conference or lunch room) and, without emotion in your voice, have a conversation with her. I wish you the best in a bad situation - I've been there and lots of others are there too - hang tough! Mik

 

[BarbB]

waldo - pray for her, that God speak to her and that she find peace in her life. Your discovering that she is unhappy and you feel sorry for her is a real eye-opener, isn't it? Good for you.

Also, when you will be together with her for any length of time, pray that the spirits of discontent and gossip be bound and removed from the room. I have done this with contentious people and found peace in my relationship with them!