how to proceed?

[thehelpedone]

Brethern,

A sister of mine has two daughters. One of them is a single young mom. I will refer to her as to MLA. Apart from ending up in this situation (single mom...!), MLA has no job and even if given the opportunity to have one,(according to her education and training), she is not interesting in holding it for more than two days. All the burden of raising her little girl falls on the shoulders of my sister, and yes, she is supporting MLA with all her living expenses including pocket money. I feel very sorry for my sister. She works very hard, close to 300 hours/month and her physical health is frail. We are a large family. We love MLA. So far, nobody discussed this issue with her. I am also sensible with my sister, and as such, I have not deepened the conversation about this subject. From what I understood from her is that my sister is concerned that if she stops supporting MLA the way she does, she is afraid of what venues MLA might turn to. I know, my sister, being extremely busy with her job, earlier on, missed the proper time and that's why now she has what she has. However, I feel that this situation cannot go on much longer and something has to be done. How, we, as a large family, can address this issue with our sister and her daughter? Any idea, any book about fixing this? If there is any, with finesse, we'll go by it letter by letter and resolve this problem once and for all.
Thank you very much for your advice.




P.S. you can reply by private message also.

 

[thehelpedone]

Please, take courage!

I welcome all ideas.

Post them here or send them by private message.

 

[blackribbon]

Maybe it is time for a different family member to take MLA in...one where she might not feel so comfortable 'not bothering to grow up'.

Other than that, I don't know that there is anything you can do. Just give your sister moral (and maybe some financial) support. Your sister isn't willing to do 'tough love' and let MLA suffer the consequences of her choices. I understand that it would be hard to let he baby and grandbaby fall. But there isn't much anyone can do to make MLA grow up if she doesn't want to.

 

[IamStefanie]

hi thehelpedone (interesting name btw)...
Well, I'm not sure. I feel like I am in your place: my brother lives with my mom and he works, but he does not help to make her life peaceful. And he is VERY VERY temperamental. I don't mind approaching him, but I am concerned about the way he will receive the info. Anyway, to you...what should you do? I would say get all of the family together and approach MLA and the sister together. Pray before you all approach, and be prepared to handle whatever. But together, your large family can plant the seed and let God move it from there...that's all I can offer...hope it helps.