How to overcome loneliness?

[EtainSkirata]

I moved to a new state a few months ago for work. My family is over 1000 miles away. I have no boyfriend, I didn't have any friends here, I was completely on my own.
I started going to a church right when I got here, and I've made friends there. But they're more like acquaintances; overall I just feel really alone. Usually it's fine, like I can cook what I want and have my own routine. But I am lonely, and my heart aches.

 

[dqhall]

I moved to a new state a few months ago for work. My family is over 1000 miles away. I have no boyfriend, I didn't have any friends here, I was completely on my own.
I started going to a church right when I got here, and I've made friends there. But they're more like acquaintances; overall I just feel really alone. Usually it's fine, like I can cook what I want and have my own routine. But I am lonely, and my heart aches.

I talked to my dad and brothers by phone this past week. Mom passed away in June. My neighbor across the street agreed to allow me to call her once a week. She is a widow who helped me when I was injured by calling 911 for me. I joined Facebook groups. My 55+ community has two Facebook groups. I put the Bible down for a time before I was injured. This evening I continued reading in the Gospel of John.

When I was 57 I did online dating and called numerous women. I met a few of them in person, like at a restaurant bar. Continued communicating for months with one or two, but failed to commit. At 62 I may never marry.

God is a good guide and has helped me make it through my life.

 

[Mark Quayle]

I moved to a new state a few months ago for work. My family is over 1000 miles away. I have no boyfriend, I didn't have any friends here, I was completely on my own.
I started going to a church right when I got here, and I've made friends there. But they're more like acquaintances; overall I just feel really alone. Usually it's fine, like I can cook what I want and have my own routine. But I am lonely, and my heart aches.

Give it some time, but be careful. The way you are feeling can deceive you into depending on somebody you'd be better away from.

 

[returntosender]

I moved to a new state a few months ago for work. My family is over 1000 miles away. I have no boyfriend, I didn't have any friends here, I was completely on my own.
I started going to a church right when I got here, and I've made friends there. But they're more like acquaintances; overall I just feel really alone. Usually it's fine, like I can cook what I want and have my own routine. But I am lonely, and my heart aches.

I can't remember the name of it but my friend has something where she can see an communicate with
Her sons and dad. It is fairly new and popular.
One if her son is in Germany.
It is a God send to her
This place keeps me from loneliness a lot

 

[com7fy8]

I started going to a church right when I got here, and I've made friends there. But they're more like acquaintances; overall I just feel really alone.

Hi God bless you; it is good to see you.

I'll offer my experience with my opinion about it >

Our Heavenly Father does desire that we share as His family. So, it is good to share with your brothers and sisters in Jesus.

When I first got with a church where I am now, I helped. I understood how others in the church had been there some time, plus they had families and jobs and already had started to develop in close relationships. So, I decided to not push getting involved with anyone, but I simply helped so they could come and relax after working all week and share with their special people they might meet only at church, for all I knew. And I enjoyed and thanked God for how they had families and relationships that already were established.

And, a little at a time, certain relationships did develop and grow. But these are with genuinely Christian people who already have families and all the needy people whom they help and share with, plus mentors they have gotten before they knew me. So, I have not competed for their time, but I love them and deeply appreciate them being good for different people, and I can enjoy being loved by them even while I am not with them. And I pray for them, plus I stay open for however God will have me be good for someone, while I feed on how they have been good for me.

And in the process of this I have gotten my lady friend. And it is quantity with quality of love and time. And because she is a really Christian person, I understand that Jesus has her for loving any and all people and not only me. So, I honor and encourage and support her to be good for various other people. And before I knew her, I in prayer understood God would expect this if He trusted me to have a genuinely Christian companion. And before I discovered her, I prepared for her by reading and feeding on His word about how to relate in a close relationship, and now I keep holding myself to what scriptures say

So, are you praying in preparation for a really Christian companion? And are you feeding on things His word says about being submissive to God and how to relate in a close relationship? Does your church feed you what prepares you for this, and help you grow in Jesus so you are preparing for Biblical intimate sharing . . . as family with various other children of God and not only with some one person?

 

[sunshineforJesus]

I will be praying for you that you find great friends.

 

[1watchman]

I moved to a new state a few months ago for work. My family is over 1000 miles away. I have no boyfriend, I didn't have any friends here, I was completely on my own.
I started going to a church right when I got here, and I've made friends there. But they're more like acquaintances; overall I just feel really alone. Usually it's fine, like I can cook what I want and have my own routine. But I am lonely, and my heart aches.

We are never alone when we walk with the Lord Jesus, so walk and talk with Him daily as your 'best friend'. I know what you mean about having friends. Getting acquainted with Christian friends is a great help in a new place. Thankfully we can be comforted and helped to find Christian friends in most sound Christian churches ---though be careful about what kind of religious place you go to; and make sure they exalt the person of Jesus Christ and speak much of Him and God's Holy "Word of Truth". Read your Bible daily, friend (noting first in John 3; John 14; etc.). In bible study one needs to understand the four Gospel books, and then the Epistles on Church truth. Keep in touch!

 

[mama2one]

have you been able to FT or Skype with your family?
set up a weekly time, it really makes a difference

 

[SANTOSO]

You ask, how I overcome loneliness.
Dear one, your heartaches because you are sorrowful.

This is what we have heard:
“Surely He has borne our griefs And carried our sorrows; Yet we esteemed Him stricken, Smitten by God, and afflicted.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭53:4‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Dear one, in our loneliness, why we don’t perceive that He carried our sorrows. Let us not esteem Christ, stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But let us esteem Christ as one who bear with our burdens, afflictions, sufferings, pains, take all our sins away and we love Him.

For we heard what our Lord said:
“Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭11:29‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Dear one, let us in our loneliness, take the Lord’s yoke upon us and learn from Him. For indeed our Lord is gentle and lowly in heart, and we will find rest for our souls, that is, our minds/emotions/wills.

Dear one, let us pray.

Lord Jesus Christ, turn to me and be gracious to me.
Bring me out of this distress, this loneliness.
Lord, consider my afflictions, sufferings and take all my sins away.
Lord, I love what You said:
“Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
Lord, grant me the strength to take Your yoke upon myself.
Lord, grant me the strength to learn from You for You are gentle and lowly in heart.
Lord, grant my soul to find rest in You. Amen

Dear one, our Lord asked us to take His yoke because He wanted to bear our burdens, afflictions, sufferings, pains and take all our sin away. For we heard:

“He is despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭53:3‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Dear one, our Lord Jesus Christ is a man of sorrows and acquainted with our grief. Let us thank Him, dear one. For we heard:

“Blessed be the Lord, Who daily loads us with benefits, The God of our salvation! Selah”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭68:19‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Let us thank the Lord and love Him:

Blessed be the Lord who bears me up, who daily loads me with benefits, The God of our salvation.
Blessed be the Lord
who forgives all my iniquity,
Blessed be the Lord
who heals all my diseases,
Blessed be the Lord
who redeems my life from the pit, who crowns me with steadfast love and mercy,
Blessed be the Lord
who satisfies me with good so that my youth is renewed like the eagle's.
Amen

Dear one, we perceive how to overcome loneliness, when we first perceive our Lord’s goodness that He bore our grief and sorrows as a man of sorrows who is acquainted with our grief and thank Him — He bore our sorrows because He loves us; when we pray and agreed to take His yoke, we trust that we live together with Him that we suffer together with Him and for Him ; when we learn from Him who is gentle and humble in heart, we learn from His gospel of love and peace ; and trust that He will give rest for our souls because He loves us.

Dear one, let us always carry His love and believe that He lived in us, then we will never be lonely.

Dear one, pray that the room of your heart be filled the love of Christ. And the love of Christ in your heart will drive out the fear and misery of loneliness.

Dear one, we have the strength to endure the afflictions and sufferings of loneliness because Christ’s steadfast love strengthen us. So dear one, it is imperative that Christ live in us. Yes, it is imperative that His steadfast love live in us. For His steadfast love strengthen us, then we will not be afraid that we are lonely, for we always live together with Him.

For we heard:
who died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep we might live with Him. -1 Thessalonians 5:10

Dear one, let us live with Christ, with His steadfast love.

May God’s grace be with your spirit.
To God be all glory, thanksgiving and praise forever and ever.
Amen

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

I moved to a new state a few months ago for work. My family is over 1000 miles away. I have no boyfriend, I didn't have any friends here, I was completely on my own.
I started going to a church right when I got here, and I've made friends there. But they're more like acquaintances; overall I just feel really alone. Usually it's fine, like I can cook what I want and have my own routine. But I am lonely, and my heart aches.

Maybe find people with similar interests like hobbies etc where you can meet people, but you have us as a community and you can always depend on Jesus and The Holy Spirit to be right there with you wherever you go and The Heavenly Father to watch over you. Just ask Him for what you need and I am most positive that He will open doors for you.

I know for me I got hospitalized when I was 22 and had to basically restart go to school then get work and rebuild family relationships and then try and find friends (I only had like 2 if that and even they barely ever met up with me). I've come a long way and am married now but I'd say the singular habit I never stopped was just saying my thoughts outloud to God on walks or on a drive and just keeping Jesus #1 in life, when I did that so many opportunities presented themselves and I believe they will for you too

 

[timf]

Many people respond to loneliness looking for others from whom they can extract companionship or friendship. This is a sort of consumer approach and may not work well.

Relationships are built on a more solid foundation of giving rather than taking.

If you offer to volunteer at your church or even a secular organization, you many find many new friends. You can even discover ways to build relationships outside of an organizational approach such as asking an elderly person at church if they need any yard work done.

 

[ripple the car]

I moved to a new state a few months ago for work. My family is over 1000 miles away. I have no boyfriend, I didn't have any friends here, I was completely on my own.
I started going to a church right when I got here, and I've made friends there. But they're more like acquaintances; overall I just feel really alone. Usually it's fine, like I can cook what I want and have my own routine. But I am lonely, and my heart aches.

I hear you. Go for walks, and talk to God. This is what I do, and it helps. Does your church have any small groups or Bible studies you can join? Are there any cafés near you? I find that sometimes, just hanging out by myself near people and sipping coffee can help me feel less lonely.

 

[Sunshinee777]

Being in that place is really tough, im not sure if I have any good advices for you but I believe you can make new friends online aswell and maby start new hobby where you could meet people with similar interests? Also, excercising is good mood booster and overall wellbeing.

I moved to a new state a few months ago for work. My family is over 1000 miles away. I have no boyfriend, I didn't have any friends here, I was completely on my own.
I started going to a church right when I got here, and I've made friends there. But they're more like acquaintances; overall I just feel really alone. Usually it's fine, like I can cook what I want and have my own routine. But I am lonely, and my heart aches.

 

[aiki]

I moved to a new state a few months ago for work. My family is over 1000 miles away. I have no boyfriend, I didn't have any friends here, I was completely on my own.
I started going to a church right when I got here, and I've made friends there. But they're more like acquaintances; overall I just feel really alone. Usually it's fine, like I can cook what I want and have my own routine. But I am lonely, and my heart aches.

God made us to be in community with others. Christians, in particular, are "members one of another," linked together by the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Christ, as intimately as the tissues and organs of your body are linked together. When we don't live in the Christ-centered community of believers, we're like a hand cut off and lying on the ground, alone and useless. The Body of Believers suffers, too, when one of its members is cut off from it. God has given each of His children spiritual gifts He intends they should use to benefit the community of believers. Separated from the community, distant relationally from the members of it, our spiritual gifting is withheld and the Body of Believers is diminished.

Unfortunately, my wife and I have found that we have to be the initiators with fellow believers. Most Christians don't want or need to be well-connected to other believers. They have their own immediate families, work, hobbies, and the millions of distractions of modern life to occupy them. Investing in the Body of Believers seems more work than its worth. When they come to church, it is to get from it, not give to it. And because most, if not all, believers in a church are this way, taking rather than giving to it, the church community is very difficult to connect to. It certainly doesn't feel like the supportive, caring, holy Bride of Christ it's supposed to be. And so, my wife and I have had to give to the church even when we are getting nothing from it, being the loving, hospitable people we wish we could find among the people of our church.

This was how it was for Christ, though, wasn't it? "He came unto his own and own received him not," the Bible says. He loved the sinners who hated him and died for them. (John 1:11; 1 John 4:7-10) We have to walk the same path as our Lord and Saviour. That path can be lonely. But God has said that he'll never leave us nor forsake us. He has said we can do all things - even be alone - through Him who strengthens us. It is often only when we are alone, though, that we discover that God can be more than enough for us, strengthening, teaching and comforting us in a way no one else can.

 

[Joined2krist]

You have us here as well, reach out to anyone you like and you might get a friendly response. There are so many sub forums to find people with like minds, God bless

 

[Sunshinee777]

God made us to be in community with others. Christians, in particular, are "members one of another," linked together by the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Christ, as intimately as the tissues and organs of your body are linked together. When we don't live in the Christ-centered community of believers, we're like a hand cut off and lying on the ground, alone and useless. The Body of Believers suffers, too, when one of its members is cut off from it. God has given each of His children spiritual gifts He intends they should use to benefit the community of believers. Separated from the community, distant relationally from the members of it, our spiritual gifting is withheld and the Body of Believers is diminished.

Unfortunately, my wife and I have found that we have to be the initiators with fellow believers. Most Christians don't want or need to be well-connected to other believers. They have their own immediate families, work, hobbies, and the millions of distractions of modern life to occupy them. Investing in the Body of Believers seems more work than its worth. When they come to church, it is to get from it, not give to it. And because most, if not all, believers in a church are this way, taking rather than giving to it, the church community is very difficult to connect to. It certainly doesn't feel like the supportive, caring, holy Bride of Christ it's supposed to be. And so, my wife and I have had to give to the church even when we are getting nothing from it, being the loving, hospitable people we wish we could find among the people of our church.

This was how it was for Christ, though, wasn't it? "He came unto his own and own received him not," the Bible says. He loved the sinners who hated him and died for them. (John 1:11; 1 John 4:7-10) We have to walk the same path as our Lord and Saviour. That path can be lonely. But God has said that he'll never leave us nor forsake us. He has said we can do all things - even be alone - through Him who strengthens us. It is often only when we are alone, though, that we discover that God can be more than enough for us, strengthening, teaching and comforting us in a way no one else can.

Yes, this reminds me that sometimes God puts us in situation where we are alone because we need to strengthen our relationship with God. That is wonderful opportunity.

 

[EtainSkirata]

Thank you for all the replies, guys, I really do appreciate it. It's nice to know that there's a community of caring people on here. <3

 

[mama2one]

try/join something like this:


Now Going Viral: Meeting Online Friends in Real Life