How to overcome being selfish

[Randar]

How do you meet in the middle when it come to selflessness. I feel like people will drain me dry to the point of depression, and take advantage of my kindness. I will then try to avoid doing anything to help anyone at that point because I feel I’ve been took advantage of. Which leaves me feeling like I’m only trying to help myself. Now depression has really gotten the best of me lately and has really left me feeling more selfish. I don’t want to be this way. How do you do this without draining yourself.

 

[Soyeong]

Hello,

Have you tried volunteering? Perhaps being part of an organization that is focused on helping others would give more consistency and stability.

 

[Dansiph]

and take advantage of my kindness

It's very common for people to do this. Just carry on being kind but always defend yourself from harm

 

[W2L]

Pray for the Lords help and expect Him to make a way.

 

[SkyWriting]

How do you meet in the middle when it come to selflessness. I feel like people will drain me dry to the point of depression, and take advantage of my kindness. I will then try to avoid doing anything to help anyone at that point because I feel I’ve been took advantage of. Which leaves me feeling like I’m only trying to help myself. Now depression has really gotten the best of me lately and has really left me feeling more selfish. I don’t want to be this way. How do you do this without draining yourself.

All people really want is for someone to sincerely listen to them.
Doing things for others is usually not for their benefit. Listening with
intensity takes practice.

 

[Monk Brendan]

How do you meet in the middle when it come to selflessness. I feel like people will drain me dry to the point of depression, and take advantage of my kindness. I will then try to avoid doing anything to help anyone at that point because I feel I’ve been took advantage of. Which leaves me feeling like I’m only trying to help myself. Now depression has really gotten the best of me lately and has really left me feeling more selfish. I don’t want to be this way. How do you do this without draining yourself.

Get off the computer and start doing the physical and spiritual acts of mercy that God brings to your immediate attention.

Obviously this requires discernment. When I am at my favorite fast food place, and someone asks me for money for food, i simply take him up to the counter, and buy him something there. That way, I'm not enabling a bad habit such as cigarettes or drugs.

 

[Hishandmaiden]

I struggle myself with selfishness as well.
Especially in the area of money.
I find myself wanting to buy things constantly for myself and end up not giving my money to the Lord.
Whenever I struggle, I pray. It helps somewhat.

 

[ChicanaRose]

I will then try to avoid doing anything to help anyone at that point because I feel I’ve been took advantage of.

If you've done enough for them, you can think of the time you are not helping them as your "time off." Every work needs to be accompanied by rest.

If you need to take care of your depression, you have a legitimate excuse for your time off.

 

[bèlla]

You have to balance your giving, set boundaries, and be mindful of commitments.

Generally speaking, I offer words of encouragement, kindness and prayer. That isn’t difficult or time consuming.

Activities that require greater investment must be sanctioned by the Lord. I gauge my season to determine if I have the energy to help or if it would be an encumbrance.

And I don’t forsake ‘me time’ to take care others on a routine basis. Every now and then is fine. But I need to recharge like everyone else.

Finally, make sure there’s someone pouring into you. If your relationships are all one-sided that takes a toll eventually.

What have you done for me lately sounds cliche. But there’s a bit of truth in that statement.

 

[JM]

How do you meet in the middle when it come to selflessness. I feel like people will drain me dry to the point of depression, and take advantage of my kindness. I will then try to avoid doing anything to help anyone at that point because I feel I’ve been took advantage of. Which leaves me feeling like I’m only trying to help myself. Now depression has really gotten the best of me lately and has really left me feeling more selfish. I don’t want to be this way. How do you do this without draining yourself.

Every Christians struggles with this. Perhaps calling to mind scripture and words of wisdom will encourage you to do focus on Christ and the work of the church.

"Therefore say to the house of Israel, Thus says the Lord God: It is not for your sake, O house of Israel, that I am about to act, but for the sake of my holy name, which you have profaned among the nations to which you came. And I will vindicate the holiness of my great name, which has been profaned among the nations, and which you have profaned among them. And the nations will know that I am the Lord, declares the Lord God, when through you I vindicate my holiness before their eyes" Ezekiel 36

"Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things." Romans 1

"God is called jealous, because he permits no rivalry which may detract from his glory." John Calvin

God can rest in nothing other than himself and cannot be satisfied with anything less than himself. He has no alternative but to seek his own honor." Herman Bavinck

Yours in the Lord,

jm

 

[SkyWriting]

How do you meet in the middle when it come to selflessness. I feel like people will drain me dry to the point of depression, and take advantage of my kindness. I will then try to avoid doing anything to help anyone at that point because I feel I’ve been took advantage of. Which leaves me feeling like I’m only trying to help myself. Now depression has really gotten the best of me lately and has really left me feeling more selfish. I don’t want to be this way. How do you do this without draining yourself.

Helping others is the solution to your situation.
Know that giving of yourself improves you.
And by giving, I mean mostly listening.