Hi,
As long as I can remember I always did what was expected, right and just. Sure I had my little issues here and there but who doesn't??!! I went to school, work, met my husband, got married and started trying to have a child. My first pregnancy didn't go as plan, resulted in a D&C at 12weeks. Waited 1,5 years before trying again... I was so scared and was still hurt but the previous loss.
When I was pregnant I did everything right, eating, sleeping, walking, cut hours from work... When my boy was born I was so happy and grateful. Couple of months after he was born I noticed something was off, couldn't figure it out. Talk to my mom, husband and pediatrician and they all thought I was crazy!! At 7 months old my son started to have seizures and since then my life was turned up side down. We were at the hospital every month for a day or two. Weekly appointments with physio, OT, and now speech therapist; chiropractor, ophthalmologist, neurologist, pediatrician and so many others are added every month. I'm being pretty proactive in helping him reach his full potential and betting the odds. At almost 3 my son, doesn't walk or talk, can't eat by himself. He's physically and mentally behind but is progression every day. I had to take a leave from work because I couldn't find a daycare for him: not everybody wants a baby who has seizures... I figured I was the best person to take care of him.
Caring for my son is rewarding but so overwhelming too. I can't remember the last time I took time for me! My son has major sleeping problems so he rarely have a good restful night, medications were getting him all agitated, was able to reduced them to one but still having issues with that.
My husband is so tired and wondering, like me, WHY? Why this happened to us. We did everything right, so why? How do you make peace with this? What explanation do you have for yourself to get through it? I want to have other children but I can I even think about that when it's already so hard and since we still don't know what is wrong with him, how do I know for sure it wont happen again? Why is God testing me, is it a test? Why make him suffer like that?
I need help to understand it all, to make peace with it all and move on from that guilty place where I'm starting to think I did something wrong???
Sorry for the long post, I just let it all come out....
As long as I can remember I always did what was expected, right and just. Sure I had my little issues here and there but who doesn't??!! I went to school, work, met my husband, got married and started trying to have a child. My first pregnancy didn't go as plan, resulted in a D&C at 12weeks. Waited 1,5 years before trying again... I was so scared and was still hurt but the previous loss.
When I was pregnant I did everything right, eating, sleeping, walking, cut hours from work... When my boy was born I was so happy and grateful. Couple of months after he was born I noticed something was off, couldn't figure it out. Talk to my mom, husband and pediatrician and they all thought I was crazy!! At 7 months old my son started to have seizures and since then my life was turned up side down. We were at the hospital every month for a day or two. Weekly appointments with physio, OT, and now speech therapist; chiropractor, ophthalmologist, neurologist, pediatrician and so many others are added every month. I'm being pretty proactive in helping him reach his full potential and betting the odds. At almost 3 my son, doesn't walk or talk, can't eat by himself. He's physically and mentally behind but is progression every day. I had to take a leave from work because I couldn't find a daycare for him: not everybody wants a baby who has seizures... I figured I was the best person to take care of him.
Caring for my son is rewarding but so overwhelming too. I can't remember the last time I took time for me! My son has major sleeping problems so he rarely have a good restful night, medications were getting him all agitated, was able to reduced them to one but still having issues with that.
My husband is so tired and wondering, like me, WHY? Why this happened to us. We did everything right, so why? How do you make peace with this? What explanation do you have for yourself to get through it? I want to have other children but I can I even think about that when it's already so hard and since we still don't know what is wrong with him, how do I know for sure it wont happen again? Why is God testing me, is it a test? Why make him suffer like that?
I need help to understand it all, to make peace with it all and move on from that guilty place where I'm starting to think I did something wrong???
Sorry for the long post, I just let it all come out....
