How to let a man know you're interested while still being "hard to get"

[Tamara224]

Tamara, I am not trying to be a martyr or twist anything. You ARE being rude when you claim the guys here have no clue what they want, and they are lying when they say something differently than you feel...

It was not a personal insult to me, but it was a general insult to all of the men on this forum and it was uncalled for.

Coach

I never called anyone a liar, Coach.

I'm just saying what my opinion is. That's all.

You don't have to agree with me. And everyone can decide for themselves.

But it is my opinion, nonetheless, that many guys don't know what they really want. And I find your mischaracterization of what I've said, and overly-sensitive knee-jerk reactions to it to be less than persuasive reasons to change my opinion.

In fact, the phrase "methinks he dost protest too much" comes to mind.

I agree that some of what Tamara has said is insulting to the men here.

It wasn't meant to be insulting. I think you guys are reading tone into it that wasn't there.

I'm just saying my opinion. Take it or leave it as you will.

 

[CoachR64]

You can say what you honestly think without rudely insulting others... and yes, I know I am speaking to myself there as well.

Coach

 

[mina]

I'm in the don't play games camp. However, different guys like different things. Some love the games and play them themselves. Some say they hate the games, but secretly love them and gravitate towards that. I don't think anyone , guy or girl, is absolutely completely game free- we all do it to some extent; especially if we are not thinking about our actions. I think it's possible to keep the game playing to a low and treat the other person with honesty and respect, find someone that will mutually respect you and treat you with honesty.

 

[Tink]

I think she is just saying what she honestly thinks. I also agree with her and have made the same accusations of ladies before. Sure you can take these words and be insulted by them. I didn't. Perhaps she even has some biblical basis:

That's fine that you weren't insulted.

I'm just saying that it could be taken that way and it's strange to act like one can't see that.

 

[CoachR64]

Tamara, weren't you the one raving about how people needed to speak up and protest about the girl charged with pornography? I guess protests are great when it is not protesting something you did or believe in?

Coach

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

I have a dating question for men (or women too, if you think you have something to add!):

How does a woman encourage a man that she is interested in to pursue her more by letting him know she's into him, while still being hard to catch so that he fulfills his "manly need" for a challenge?

I mean, all the dating advice says that a woman has to let a guy know she's interested so that he feels safe going after her. But the dating advice also says that guys lose interest if a girl is too easy to get. So what does a woman do about this?

~Jen~

Blind post: Playing mind games is not a healthy way to start a relationship. When a guy really likes you, you don't have to play games to keep him interested.

 

[Luther073082]

Blind post: Playing mind games is not a healthy way to start a relationship. When a guy really likes you, you don't have to play games to keep him interested.

Melissa knows this very well.

She smiles . . . I melt

 

[puddleoffaith]

Melissa knows this very well.

She smiles . . . I melt

awwwwww. adorable.

 

[puddleoffaith]

The trick is, and we learned this in psychology class, is to play selectively hard-to-get. You should be hard-to-get for those that you're not interested in, but easy-to-get for the one you want. It's statistically proven to be the best method, above being completely hard-to-get or completely easy or a mix of both for the same guy. It's a good method because it eliminates the game playing.

 

[ido]

Blind post: Playing mind games is not a healthy way to start a relationship. When a guy really likes you, you don't have to play games to keep him interested.

This. If a guy really likes you, he'll take a chance at getting to know you and he'll be verbal about how he feels about you. If you like him back, you'll be just as verbal - b/c it will be worth it.

 

[yam]

Sometimes I might seem hard to get but thats because I like to guard myself untill I am sure that I won't get hurt.

Agree , I do the same thing.