I'll give you my perspective on this. I attend a church that has a high ratio of single women to single men in my age group (maybe 7-1). As a man, I enjoy the friendships I have with the women but I am not seeking a relationship at the moment. One of the most frustrating things for me is when the women attempt to force a deeper friendship with me. After church service, I might have four or five women approach me that I don't have anything in common with telling me about things going on in their life and asking me relatively deep questions about mine. This makes me feel trapped, and the last thing I want to do is pursue one of these women when I feel like I can't get away- no matter how amazing they are (and they are amazing women). I like my space, and I like to be the pursuer. On the other hand, there is this one woman who completely trusts God in her relationships. She actively pursued a friendship with me when I first started going to the church but it was very clear to me that she didn't require anything in return. I thought we would have nothing in common, so I didn't pursue her any further. She trusted God. When I didn't pay her any special attention, she wasn't disappointed and didn't try harder to get my attention. Instead, she waited, not for me, but for whoever the Lord had for her.
So now, it's six months later and I appreciate this woman more than any other. And because of the way she guards her heart and trusts God, I can't help but to want to pursue a friendship and see where that leads. And whether or not the Lord brings us together as more than friends, my desire is to honor her in our friendship and encourage her to continue treating relationships the way she does.
I think that guys can sense when girls wants something in return, and that in itself is not a problem, sometimes it's nice to know you are desired. But when a guy feels like a dating relationship is the only thing that would make her happy, he may get scared and feel trapped. I have no problem with a girl that pursues a friendship with me, draws the line there and expects nothing more than a friendship in return.
Hang out with him in groups, talk to him once in awhile but don't base your entire evening around him. Guys can sense that and will feel trapped. Build up your friendship by letting him know that you appreciate him as a friend and wait for him to take it further. Ultimately, trust that God will direct the heart of the right man.
