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How to get diagnosis for BDP
- Thread starter MeloMom
- Start date
I'm sorry- did you read my post? I am suspecting it and want to confirm it if it is true, so I can heal properly.
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Butterfly
Tins the Chocoholic
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Melo, I completely understand where you are coming from. I was just diagnosed a month ago, and I was so happy to receive the diagnosis. It meant I had a direction to go in!
I got diagnosed by a psychologist/therapist that I am working with. She had not even suspected it as a possibility since I don't cut/drink excessively, etc. But I fit 7 out of the 9 criteria.
Here's the official 9 criteria that they will use to determine whether you are BPD or not:
"Borderline Personality Disorder Diagnosis: DSM IV Diagnostic Criteria
A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self image and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood ** and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
1) Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior*** covered in Criterion 5.
2) A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
3) Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
4) Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).
Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior*** covered in Criterion 5.
5) Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior***.
6) Affective [mood] instability.
7) Chronic feelings of emptiness.
8) Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).
9) Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms."
In order to "have" it, you have to fit 5 out of the 9 criteria.
Good luck in your search. It's worth it to find out what's going on!!
I got diagnosed by a psychologist/therapist that I am working with. She had not even suspected it as a possibility since I don't cut/drink excessively, etc. But I fit 7 out of the 9 criteria.
Here's the official 9 criteria that they will use to determine whether you are BPD or not:
"Borderline Personality Disorder Diagnosis: DSM IV Diagnostic Criteria
A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self image and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood ** and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
1) Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior*** covered in Criterion 5.
2) A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
3) Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
4) Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).
Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior*** covered in Criterion 5.
5) Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior***.
6) Affective [mood] instability.
7) Chronic feelings of emptiness.
8) Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).
9) Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms."
In order to "have" it, you have to fit 5 out of the 9 criteria.
Good luck in your search. It's worth it to find out what's going on!!
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Yes I read it in full. The reason I asked is because you don't need the diagnosis to overcome bpd, if that's what it is. And I would imagine having that diagnosis on your record is not a good thing.
My friend who overcame bpd is hoping her diagnosis gets farther and farther in the past so she doesn't have to deal with that label. She recently had a second psychiatrist confirm there is no bpd so I am sure that helps.
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Wow...fit 6 of them! Worse when I was younger though. As I get older I am more mature so some of these symptoms less pronounced for sure. Thanks everyone for your responses!
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Butterfly
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Anon,
BPD is a spectrum. I am not very severe in my symptoms (anymore) but some are so severe that it is life altering. I personally cannot get a job at the moment because of my random anger triggers that are completely subconscious...no, I cannot control them!
I have a job but it is only part time and with friends. And I have had several melt downs there...thankfully they are forgiving. But in my other jobs, I was incapable of continuing to work there because of it. ANd I am not very severe at all.
I have lost many friendships over the years, and abused people horribly, and been really clingy/hot and cold/etc. with people, interpersonal relationships, etc. because of it.
It is something you can get help for and over come, but just because one person got over it that quickly does not mean that someone else can or that it's even a bad thing on the "record", whatever record you are talking about. Who cares if it's on a record. If people can't handle that being on record then they need to look inside themselves because within each of us is something negative that would look "bad" on our "record".
It does not have to limit you. Having a name for something that's going on with you is a wonderful relief because then you know exactly how to target it. Kind of like with a physical illness and going to the doctor. You know you can't breathe quite right but you know it could be bronchitis or asthma or pneumonia...you might be able to overcome it without a diagnosis, but you can overcome it faster with one.
I for one am grateful to have it on my "record". At least it helps my family and friends understand me, and it helps ME understand me, and work towards true recovery which may take years.
(yes I do get a little defensive LOL)
Melo, I am only 26 but my worst symptoms were when I was a teenager. However, I've had counseling ever since then and have been able to learn some tactics...I was just barely diagnosed with it so I can further compliment the skills I've already learned with new ideas and a new direction to go in. Most people don't believe I have it, but to those who know me best it makes 100% sense.
Be bold and push for getting help...you deserve to understand yourself better and to get the help you need!
BPD is a spectrum. I am not very severe in my symptoms (anymore) but some are so severe that it is life altering. I personally cannot get a job at the moment because of my random anger triggers that are completely subconscious...no, I cannot control them!
I have a job but it is only part time and with friends. And I have had several melt downs there...thankfully they are forgiving. But in my other jobs, I was incapable of continuing to work there because of it. ANd I am not very severe at all.
I have lost many friendships over the years, and abused people horribly, and been really clingy/hot and cold/etc. with people, interpersonal relationships, etc. because of it.
It is something you can get help for and over come, but just because one person got over it that quickly does not mean that someone else can or that it's even a bad thing on the "record", whatever record you are talking about. Who cares if it's on a record. If people can't handle that being on record then they need to look inside themselves because within each of us is something negative that would look "bad" on our "record".
It does not have to limit you. Having a name for something that's going on with you is a wonderful relief because then you know exactly how to target it. Kind of like with a physical illness and going to the doctor. You know you can't breathe quite right but you know it could be bronchitis or asthma or pneumonia...you might be able to overcome it without a diagnosis, but you can overcome it faster with one.
I for one am grateful to have it on my "record". At least it helps my family and friends understand me, and it helps ME understand me, and work towards true recovery which may take years.
(yes I do get a little defensive LOL)
Melo, I am only 26 but my worst symptoms were when I was a teenager. However, I've had counseling ever since then and have been able to learn some tactics...I was just barely diagnosed with it so I can further compliment the skills I've already learned with new ideas and a new direction to go in. Most people don't believe I have it, but to those who know me best it makes 100% sense.
Be bold and push for getting help...you deserve to understand yourself better and to get the help you need!
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Ok I just wrote a reeeeaally long message and it disappeared. Not impressed. Thank you for your warm words Tins, it is the story of my life! It makes sense with everything I have experienced dissapointment, broken dreams, etc.
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Butterfly
Tins the Chocoholic
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Ooh I hate it when a long message disappears! You are most welcome...feel free to vent or talk to me any time...I am an open book and also happy to lend a listening ear. It's not an easy thing to deal with!
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Anon- a label can make you to be not in favor with someone/ employer, etc yet labels are very important so you know what you are dealing with. For example- I have a chronic condition called Fibromyalgia. It puts limitations on me- so- when I had an interview with a potential employer I said I have "this" and said here is what I can and can't do. It is not only fair for the one suffering to know what on Gods Green Earth they are tackling with---but it's pretty darn important to tell the employer exactly where coming from so they don't get a nasty surprise later on, like you quitting bc it flared pain too much, etc.
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Butterfly
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^^^ Excellent example.
People seem to think that mental disabilities are not as "real" as physical disabilities and that they can't limit you like physical disabilities can but in fact they are every bit as real and every bit as capable of making life difficult as physical disabilities.
My mom has FM too, and there's just certain things she can't do, especially in the winter. Either they accept it or they don't. If they don't, you search until you find what you're looking for.
Truth is, if you want something bad enough you are 99% able to get it if you work hard enough.
People seem to think that mental disabilities are not as "real" as physical disabilities and that they can't limit you like physical disabilities can but in fact they are every bit as real and every bit as capable of making life difficult as physical disabilities.
My mom has FM too, and there's just certain things she can't do, especially in the winter. Either they accept it or they don't. If they don't, you search until you find what you're looking for.
Truth is, if you want something bad enough you are 99% able to get it if you work hard enough.
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Besides---God is very much in favor of being very specific with the words we speak and the meaning of words---he wants us to call out that specific thing we need healing for so that we can go to Him about it!!!
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Well said!!!��Absolute truth: mental disability is as real as physical. I am sorry to hear that about your mom....well, they did hire me with the premise that I will give it a good go and see how it goes---at least I can say I tried! And yeah...I expired myself a bit better in the looooong message!�� Oh well!�� And thanks--my door is always open too!�� I am on here about once a week usually for now anyway. Bye for now!��
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Test away!!! I hope you come back here soon...I am on every day so if you ever need me you know where I am! Tins,
First, I want to say that I think the fact that you admit being abusive to others is a huge step in the right direction.
Yes, they can get over it quickly. Anyone can. How long does it take for you to change your mind about something? Well that is how long it takes to get over each piece of BPD. I say each piece because I see BPD as a group of problems rather than a single issue. I watched someone overcome BPD (i.e. diagnosed BPD to diagnosed a clean sheet of mental health) over the course of about two years so please ask yourself whether you have also witnessed that before dismissing what I am saying.
When I tell people this they seem to ALWAYS assume that I am saying you can just snap your fingers and your BPD will be gone. I have never said THAT and it is just an assumption people have made. What I am saying is once you identify the relevant lie you are believing (and you must, by definition, be believing some lie somewhere if you have BPD) and reject that lie and replaced with the truth (from the Word) then you will be over that piece of BPD (or perhaps all of BPD itself). Obivously if you already identified that lie then you wouldn't have BPD at the moment so I wouldn't expect you to know that. The truth to combat the lies is not from me but from the Word itself.
The point of me saying this is NOT to say "just get over it" (as many have assumed in the past) but rather to say "there is an answer, you don't have to accept 10 years of dealing with this - this issue is not part of who you are." And to also say "the answer to problem is not based on time." I am saying you COULD get over it in a day, but it will probably take longer for the vast majority of people and that is perfectly OK. But your solution to this problem is not based on time per se - but based on you. When you say "it will take years to overcome" I say "it doesn't have to!"
Before you think I am being judgmental, did you know that I apply the same logic to myself? Did you know that I have had many problems that I do NOT resolve in a day? Am I condemning myself in saying all this? No not at all. Frankly, knowing that I COULD get over many of my issues in a day encouraged me to keep trying to find the answer. Then when I find the answer, I think to myself "wow, I could have skipped all these problems if I knew then what I know now." So if someone else is dealing with a problem that I know how to overcome, why would I NOT tell them they can get over it in a day, that there is an answer? Who would I be if I saw a bunch of people suffering, knew the exact answer to their problem and didn't tell them? But unfortunately, I encounter ALOT of resistance from people about this - to me it doesn't make sense, why would you WANT to deal with BPD for 10 years or so?
I think, at least for some people (not necessarily you, but this is what my formerly BPD friend said), they do not want to get rid of BPD because it is a crutch for them. In my friend's case, she did not want to lose the ability to use BPD as an excuse for all her bad behavior. She did not want to have to say "it's my fault that I acted this way and not because of BPD."
Let me finish by sharing the two things I think most helped my friend overcome BPD:
1) fear of abandonment: my friend was always anxious and worried about people abandoning her, so she would try to control her relationships which only ended up sabotaging them. She had to reject the lie that she was worthless or that she was worth less than other people (i.e. that she was not worth as much because people kept getting rid of her in various ways). She had to acknowledge that she was valued by God because He sent His only Son to die for her on the cross. Only then could she get to a point where she thought less about herself and more about others.
2) BPD label: for the longest time my friend had a hard time dealing with the BPD label. I think she still saw herself as BPD even though she was making great strides at the time. She would get bitter and defensive if anyone mentioned anything to the effect of her having BPD. I had this conversation with her about it one night (paraphrased):
[she called me AGAIN about some BPD issue - I don't quite remember what it was]
her: so-and-so called me borderline today and that really got me and I want to know your thoughts on it
me: well do you have BPD or not?
her: no
me: how do you know that?
her:because God healed me
me: I mean specifically how
her:...
me: what makes a person BPD?
her: when someone guilt manipulates, harms relationships, etc.
me: and why do they do that? Isn't it because they fear abandonment and believe they are worthless or at least worth less than others.
her: yes
me: do you fear abandonment and think you are worthless?
her: No because God will never abandon me and I know I am His child
me: then you don't have BPD
her: so BPD is just believing lies from Satan then
me: yes
Again, this is just a paraphrase (the real conversation was a bit longer). The next day I noticed an immediate change for the better in my friend. She said that conversation last night really helped her, that she was doing better before but kept slipping backwards because she didn't quite understand how she was already free from BPD per our conversation.
To recap, here is what I am NOT saying:
Regards,
-Anon
First, I want to say that I think the fact that you admit being abusive to others is a huge step in the right direction.
Yes, they can get over it quickly. Anyone can. How long does it take for you to change your mind about something? Well that is how long it takes to get over each piece of BPD. I say each piece because I see BPD as a group of problems rather than a single issue. I watched someone overcome BPD (i.e. diagnosed BPD to diagnosed a clean sheet of mental health) over the course of about two years so please ask yourself whether you have also witnessed that before dismissing what I am saying.
When I tell people this they seem to ALWAYS assume that I am saying you can just snap your fingers and your BPD will be gone. I have never said THAT and it is just an assumption people have made. What I am saying is once you identify the relevant lie you are believing (and you must, by definition, be believing some lie somewhere if you have BPD) and reject that lie and replaced with the truth (from the Word) then you will be over that piece of BPD (or perhaps all of BPD itself). Obivously if you already identified that lie then you wouldn't have BPD at the moment so I wouldn't expect you to know that. The truth to combat the lies is not from me but from the Word itself.
The point of me saying this is NOT to say "just get over it" (as many have assumed in the past) but rather to say "there is an answer, you don't have to accept 10 years of dealing with this - this issue is not part of who you are." And to also say "the answer to problem is not based on time." I am saying you COULD get over it in a day, but it will probably take longer for the vast majority of people and that is perfectly OK. But your solution to this problem is not based on time per se - but based on you. When you say "it will take years to overcome" I say "it doesn't have to!"
Before you think I am being judgmental, did you know that I apply the same logic to myself? Did you know that I have had many problems that I do NOT resolve in a day? Am I condemning myself in saying all this? No not at all. Frankly, knowing that I COULD get over many of my issues in a day encouraged me to keep trying to find the answer. Then when I find the answer, I think to myself "wow, I could have skipped all these problems if I knew then what I know now." So if someone else is dealing with a problem that I know how to overcome, why would I NOT tell them they can get over it in a day, that there is an answer? Who would I be if I saw a bunch of people suffering, knew the exact answer to their problem and didn't tell them? But unfortunately, I encounter ALOT of resistance from people about this - to me it doesn't make sense, why would you WANT to deal with BPD for 10 years or so?
I think, at least for some people (not necessarily you, but this is what my formerly BPD friend said), they do not want to get rid of BPD because it is a crutch for them. In my friend's case, she did not want to lose the ability to use BPD as an excuse for all her bad behavior. She did not want to have to say "it's my fault that I acted this way and not because of BPD."
Let me finish by sharing the two things I think most helped my friend overcome BPD:
1) fear of abandonment: my friend was always anxious and worried about people abandoning her, so she would try to control her relationships which only ended up sabotaging them. She had to reject the lie that she was worthless or that she was worth less than other people (i.e. that she was not worth as much because people kept getting rid of her in various ways). She had to acknowledge that she was valued by God because He sent His only Son to die for her on the cross. Only then could she get to a point where she thought less about herself and more about others.
2) BPD label: for the longest time my friend had a hard time dealing with the BPD label. I think she still saw herself as BPD even though she was making great strides at the time. She would get bitter and defensive if anyone mentioned anything to the effect of her having BPD. I had this conversation with her about it one night (paraphrased):
[she called me AGAIN about some BPD issue - I don't quite remember what it was]
her: so-and-so called me borderline today and that really got me and I want to know your thoughts on it
me: well do you have BPD or not?
her: no
me: how do you know that?
her:because God healed me
me: I mean specifically how
her:...
me: what makes a person BPD?
her: when someone guilt manipulates, harms relationships, etc.
me: and why do they do that? Isn't it because they fear abandonment and believe they are worthless or at least worth less than others.
her: yes
me: do you fear abandonment and think you are worthless?
her: No because God will never abandon me and I know I am His child
me: then you don't have BPD
her: so BPD is just believing lies from Satan then
me: yes
Again, this is just a paraphrase (the real conversation was a bit longer). The next day I noticed an immediate change for the better in my friend. She said that conversation last night really helped her, that she was doing better before but kept slipping backwards because she didn't quite understand how she was already free from BPD per our conversation.
To recap, here is what I am NOT saying:
- BPD is not real
- You can just snap your fingers and get over BPD
- BPD can be overcome with the truth of God's Word
- There is no requisite that it take years to overcome BPD, but if it takes years that is OK (just look at me in dealing with my issues! You can see some of my past posts)
Regards,
-Anon
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Butterfly
Tins the Chocoholic
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It's definitely slow in the Mental Health sections of the board...but it's always been that way. It's busier in some sections like the Friendship Court under Leisure. It's too bad, would be nice to get more support eh?
Doing fairly well myself, thanks. Been doing my therapy and doing relatively ok with it. I'm working now on my knee jerk reactions...they are terrible!
Doing fairly well myself, thanks. Been doing my therapy and doing relatively ok with it. I'm working now on my knee jerk reactions...they are terrible!
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