How to get a girlfriend when you have problems?

[pantingdeer]

Please help. I used to be very attracted to many women. When I was 16 my feelings for women seemed to die out of no where. I initially was concerned but was sure my feelings would come back. Five years on and no luck. My mental health really took a toll because of this. I see girls all the time that I would’ve thought were really cute and now see nothing. This really makes me sad and have zero confidence.

With absolutely zero confidence, I don’t go out, make friends, talk to women like a normal guy my age. I am instead a social recluse (with or without social lockdown). It’s no surprise no woman ever takes an interest in me as I wouldn’t either.

The only girl that likes me is my cousin. Every time she’s with me she is smiling and laughs. I wonder why no one else does this. Also she is really pretty with sandy blonde hair and brown eyes. I always likes women with these features (and European girls with dark brown hair and olive skin). She’s a few years younger than me and for obvious reasons we can’t be together.

If I don’t get attracted to hardly anyone, how on earth am I meant to find a female companion one day? If I do end up with someone then I’d feel guilty as there’s 3 billion other men out there better than me.

I honestly feel dead inside. The light inside me doesn’t turn on anymore when I see a girl I know I would’ve liked. Any prayers and guidance would be appreciated as I’m feeling very lonely. I just would love the fire in my heart to come back.

 

[Hieronymus]

Why are you worried?
Can't you just interact with people like fellow humans?
Your luxury is that you are not a slave of your hormones.
You will probably meet a girl at some point that you feel attracted to.

 

[Daniel Marsh]

Please help. I used to be very attracted to many women. When I was 16 my feelings for women seemed to die out of no where. I initially was concerned but was sure my feelings would come back. Five years on and no luck. My mental health really took a toll because of this. I see girls all the time that I would’ve thought were really cute and now see nothing. This really makes me sad and have zero confidence.

With absolutely zero confidence, I don’t go out, make friends, talk to women like a normal guy my age. I am instead a social recluse (with or without social lockdown). It’s no surprise no woman ever takes an interest in me as I wouldn’t either.

The only girl that likes me is my cousin. Every time she’s with me she is smiling and laughs. I wonder why no one else does this. Also she is really pretty with sandy blonde hair and brown eyes. I always likes women with these features (and European girls with dark brown hair and olive skin). She’s a few years younger than me and for obvious reasons we can’t be together.

If I don’t get attracted to hardly anyone, how on earth am I meant to find a female companion one day? If I do end up with someone then I’d feel guilty as there’s 3 billion other men out there better than me.

I honestly feel dead inside. The light inside me doesn’t turn on anymore when I see a girl I know I would’ve liked. Any prayers and guidance would be appreciated as I’m feeling very lonely. I just would love the fire in my heart to come back.

Talk to your Cousin about this. She knows you better than I would.
I have the opposite problem, women keep coming on to me.

 

[pantingdeer]

Talk to your Cousin about this. She knows you better than I would.
I have the opposite problem, women keep coming on to me.

Nice

 

[Darkhorse]

Hopefully this isn't an offensive question...it isn't intended to be...

Is cousin marriage legal in your country? About half of the U.S. states allow it...
And the Bible does also.

 

[pantingdeer]

Why are you worried?
Can't you just interact with people like fellow humans?
Your luxury is that you are not a slave of your hormones.
You will probably meet a girl at some point that you feel attracted to.

Thank you for your thoughts. I get what you’re saying and I know I don’t know your circumstances but it is easy to say that if you are not going through this problem. I feel like I can never tell a girl I like her. I’d love to love a woman but I can’t.

 

[pantingdeer]

Hopefully this isn't an offensive question...it isn't intended to be...

Is cousin marriage legal in your country? About half of the U.S. states allow it...
And the Bible does also.

Where she lives yes.

 

[pantingdeer]

Hopefully this isn't an offensive question...it isn't intended to be...

Is cousin marriage legal in your country? About half of the U.S. states allow it...
And the Bible does also.

Why

 

[pantingdeer]

Talk to your Cousin about this. She knows you better than I would.
I have the opposite problem, women keep coming on to me.

I am not getting together with my cousin if that’s what you mean?

 

[pantingdeer]

Talk to your Cousin about this. She knows you better than I would.
I have the opposite problem, women keep coming on to me.

We’re only friends

 

[Darkhorse]

Why

Again, I don't mean anything offensive, but...

If you and she were to develop a relationship that extended past the usual one for congenial relatives...the door might be open for that.

But, you say that's not your interest, and it's probably not hers either.

It's always good to know where the boundaries are before you play the game...

 

[pantingdeer]

Again, I don't mean anything offensive, but...

If you and she were to develop a relationship that extended past the usual one for congenial relatives...the door might be open for that.

But, you say that's not your interest, and it's probably not hers either.

It's always good to know where the boundaries are before you play the game...

She's a lovely person but that's not on the cards. She's younger than me anyway for a start and people would think I'm weird.
Maybe I gave the wrong message mention ing her in my question. I'd just like help for developing other relationships and coping with my problem.

 

[bèlla]

We're you a recluse prior to the mental health issues or afterward? If you remain indoors and limit your contact with others. How will you be in a position to meet someone at all? The key to your dilemma begins with getting outside.

~Bella

 

[Richard T]

Take a look around you and you will see all the variety of couples in the world. No characteristic or personality trait is going to keep you from getting married. My advice would be to concentrate on your job and income opportunities. Also, get more into God, so you can see yourself as the heir of God that you are. Get some real victory in these areas and the ladies will show up and you will have the confidence that you need and the attraction that it takes.

 

[pantingdeer]

We're you a recluse prior to the mental health issues or afterward? If you remain indoors and limit your contact with others. How will you be in a position to meet someone at all? The key to your dilemma begins with getting outside.

~Bella

I do leave the house for college and job but I don’t do anything apart from that. I don’t have any Christian friends.

 

[bèlla]

I do leave the house for college and job but I don’t do anything apart from that. I don’t have any Christian friends.

How do you normally encounter Christians? Are you active in church? Do you participate in activities with others your age?

~Bella

 

[pantingdeer]

How do you normally encounter Christians? Are you active in church? Do you participate in activities with others your age?

~Bella

I used to go to church until about 6 years ago when I developed doubts in my head. I don’t really have doubts anymore though.
I don’t really participate in things as I have no friends to be with and also because I find it really hard to get along with people. I’m just not that fun, cool person people love to be around and so get the impression people aren’t interested in me. I worry a lot about what people think of me.

 

[bèlla]

You've removed yourself from opportunities to meet Christian women. Your absence from church and limited participation in activities is contributing to the problem. You're limited to chance meetings at work or through school. And the majority probably aren't believers.

I would focus on rebuilding my self-esteem and confidence. If you question your worthiness for friendship or something more. How will you settle into a relationship if you believe you're not good enough? You have to remove that error from your thoughts and replace it with something nourishing.

A relationship won't change the way you feel or create a different person. You'll be the same with more responsibility.

~Bella

 

[pantingdeer]

You've removed yourself from opportunities to meet Christian women. Your absence from church and limited participation in activities is contributing to the problem. You're limited to chance meetings at work or through school. And the majority probably aren't believers.

I would focus on rebuilding my self-esteem and confidence. If you question your worthiness for friendship or something more. How will you settle into a relationship if you believe you're not good enough? You have to remove that error from your thoughts and replace it with something nourishing.

A relationship won't change the way you feel or create a different person. You'll be the same with more responsibility.

~Bella

How can I rebuild my self confidence? I have none. I feel like no one will ever like me. I’ve never had a girlfriend.

 

[Darkhorse]

Do you have any access to counseling? An understanding counselor can help you clarify your issues.