How to Forgive

[LightHearted]

How do you forgive someone that isn't sorry for what they've done, and continues to hurt you in the same manner over and over again?

I've come across this only a couple times in life, and really struggle with it.

I have no problem with forgiving and forgetting when someone is apologetic or remorseful... but what about when someone could care less that they've hurt you? How do you go about loving someone as Christ commanded us to love one another, even if they don't deserve it?

 

[Ave Maria]

Well, does this person know that they are hurting you? Perhaps they are unaware that their actions/words are hurtful to you.

 

[BAFRIEND]

a priest told me once, "Love them from a distance."

sometimes that is all you can do

 

[BAFRIEND]

well, maybe that response did not help you with your problem

here is a way that perhaps yo can develope the aptitude for forgiveness

prayer- and i dont mean that generically either

really begin to view this person as a mission and pray for them- when you deal with difficult people always ask why God is sending this person to you - ask yourself, "Who will God send me next or what does God want me to do for this person ?

remember that everything you have experienced in your life good and bad has made you who you are today and embrace your Christian identity- inherit your faith

 

[Fantine]

Forgiveness is for you, so that you can reach closure and go on with your life.

 

[BAFRIEND]

Forgiveness is for you, so that you can reach closure and go on with your life.

but forgiveness is also an act of obedience as Jesus called on his followers in Mt 5:48 to be perfect just as our Father in heaven is perfect.

we are to:

love God above all things, love our neighbor as ourself, strive to follow the Lod's call to perfection

 

[BAFRIEND]

you have my admiration lighthearted fo having the kindness and nurturing nature in you to care enouph about another even when they hurt you

peace forever

 

[benedictaoo]

How do you forgive someone that isn't sorry for what they've done, and continues to hurt you in the same manner over and over again?

I've come across this only a couple times in life, and really struggle with it.

I have no problem with forgiving and forgetting when someone is apologetic or remorseful... but what about when someone could care less that they've hurt you? How do you go about loving someone as Christ commanded us to love one another, even if they don't deserve it?

Ignore the feelings of resentment. Understand that you feeling hurt and angry is normal but do not allow it to fester into something that you no longer have control over.

You don't ave to talk to the person, you don't have to like them and you don't have to have anything to do with them but you can not wish them ill.

Pray for their well being, spiritual as well as in life.

Control any feelings of revenge where you hope this or that would happen to them but understand feelings of anger and hurt are normal and not sinful.

Just don't wish them any ill will.

that's forgiveness. It's not being all happy and go lucky with the person.

 

[St_Barnabus]

If we think for a moment, God Himself will not forgive anyone unless he repents, yes? His forgiveness is not unconditional. He did not say, "Even if you aren't sorry and do not intend to change, I forgive you."

That is not the way God forgives and that is not the way we should forgive, either. Rather, we should desire that there be forgiveness, and we should extend the opportunity for forgiveness, but it must be on the condition that God specified.

"If your brother sins, rebuke him,
and if he repents, forgive him." Lk 17:3​

Admonish your neighbor before you break with him;
thus will you fulfill the law of the Most High. Sirach 19:16​

As a condition of forgiveness, often in God's law, and even in our court systems, retribution and/or evidence of change is required before the pardon is lifted. If you don't see any remorse that is able to demonstrate a change of heart, let your rebuke stand in witness to the person. You have no further obligation to keep a friendship going. ​

In agreement with the other posters, I second the necessity of leaving the vengence up to God and detaching from the problem so that your own lack of forgiveness will not be a cause of spiritual stagnation in your relationship with God. Beg Him for the grace to let go, and let God.​

Finally, failure to utilize the power of forgiveness is often a major factor of anger problems, bitterness, hurt feelings, hateful communications, refusal to talk, depression, and various other personal emotional problems. You surely don't want any of this to snuff out your peace and joy. Amen?

 

[gabrielListens]

First of all, I remember that God is my witness. Whatever was done to me, was also done to Jesus. He sees all that is done to us and feels every ounce of our suffering and injustice:

"And the King will say, 'I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!"
Matthew 25:40 NLT
(I did not add that exclamation!)

Second of all I tell myself that the devil influenced this person to do what he/she did to me. It does allow me to easily forgive the person and ALSO to feel sympathy for them because they have lost touch with their true selves.

If anyone doubts the concept of demonic possession or influence, here is a scripture:

"When he (Jesus) arrived at the other side in the region of the Gadarenes, two demon-possessed men coming from the tombs met him. They were so violent that no one could pass that way."
Matthew 8:28 NIV