How To Forgive?

[GoldenKingGaze]

Fellows, how do you forgive? Must all anger go, isn't there Godly anger? Must that go? How can you discern between that to be let go off and that which is self respect...?

How do you defend yourself? And forgive? Do you meditate on the cross like I try to? Do you need determination?

 

[cmefly]

I think it's easy to be angry at a person you've forgiven especially when they continue to hurt you or offend you.
I don't know the answer to your question, but I had to say I often wonder the same thing: if I have forgiven someone, does that mean I should feel no anger anymore, at all?
Or does it mean I haven't truly forgiven them?
I have had to set some boundaries for people who continue to harm me, and I distance myself as much as humanly possible from them.

 

[Elijah2]

Fellows, how do you forgive? Must all anger go, isn't there Godly anger? Must that go? How can you discern between that to be let go off and that which is self respect...?

How do you defend yourself? And forgive? Do you meditate on the cross like I try to? Do you need determination?

Mate, forgiveness comes from very hard work. John Sandford and Neil Anderson have written a number of books on "inner healing", and "Freedom in Christ".

In His Word is says about being "angry without a cause or reason" (see Matt. 5:22). Therefore, if there is a real reason and caused for you being angry, that is fair enough, but His Word also says that not to let the sun set on anger (see Eph. 4:26).

Now our Lord Jesus Christ went through the temple in anger throwing chairs and tables everywhere. HE had a reason and cause for HIS actions. But, when we read the NIV, then even our Lord Jesus Christ was sinning for being angry.

Fellows, how do you forgive?
To forgive we have to work through our anger, bitterness, and resentfulness when we can do that and reconcile ourself with our Lord Jesus Christ and His Word by transforming and renewing our “spiritual mind”, our heart, and then forgiveness will flow from our heart. Our tongue will speak what comes from our heart.

All our hurts and offences will fester into bitterness if we don’t reconciles ourselves with our Lord Jesus Christ before the sun sets on that day.

We forgive those who sin against us, but if we let it go because of our pride, then our anger will turn into bitterness, then resentfulness, and then unforgiveness.

To start the road of forgiveness, we need confess and repent all our sins, then we need to consider our pride. The more we confess and repent, the more we will come to forgiveness.

Must all anger go, isn't there Godly anger?
Yes, there is spiritual anger, but we don’t carry that anger over to the next day, we lay it at the cross before we go to bed. And we don’t fob it all off as though it was really nothing when in fact it was.

Must that go?
If anger and bitterness is confessed and repented immediately, or before the sun sets, then you will wake up next morning in a better state. Now if it doesn’t go away, then the Holy Spirit is convicting you on something else that needs to be dealt with, which is normally pride.

Many say that they confess and repent, but they don’t really, because when you ask them to forgive, they yes I forgive them, and then you say to love them. Then listen to them give all the reasons why they shouldn’t love them.

So forgiveness also goes to the depth of love.

How can you discern between that to be let go off and that which is self respect...?
If a person offends through insults, belittling, embarrassing you, then you need to bring it to their attention, particularly if they are a Christian and reconcile it with them.

But, an unbeliever is hard at times, but you can still speak the words to our Lord Jesus Christ.

How do you defend yourself?
Why defend yourself, just confess and repent for being angry, and forgive that person who upset you or offended you.

And forgive?
Beside forgiving, you have to love them as well.

Do you meditate on the cross like I try to?
You can meditate to no avail if you haven’t confessed, repented, and forgive!

Do you need determination?
Yes, because your determination will come by feeling peace on your heart.

What about Jesus blood, and the love of God, graces?
That’s all great mate, but that does make you wrongs---right! Only confession, repentance, forgiveness, and love reconciles you with our Lord Jesus Christ.

Be blessed in Jesus’ Name.

 

[Elijah2]

I think it's easy to be angry at a person you've forgiven especially when they continue to hurt you or offend you.
I don't know the answer to your question, but I had to say I often wonder the same thing: if I have forgiven someone, does that mean I should feel no anger anymore, at all?
Or does it mean I haven't truly forgiven them?
I have had to set some boundaries for people who continue to harm me, and I distance myself as much as humanly possible from them.

The reason why you feel this way, is because when you forgive a person you are to love them as well, after all HE said to forgive and love one another.

If you still feel anger toward that person after confessing and repenting your sin of anger, and after forgiving them, then you haven't really assessed what forgiveness is all about.

You can run away from those who are sent to test you in patience, self-control, faithfulness, gentleness, goodness and kindness.

HE keeps on testing me as only the other day I had to endure continual belittling and insulting remarks by two blokes who inferred they were doing it in fun, but they were getting personal. After much over the past few months, and then the other day they had taken it too far, and I gave them a blast and basically told them to grow up and mind their own business. Now they were offended of my outburt, and then tried to turn it all around as if they didn't do anything.

So on my way home I was angry, really angry, then I became angry with myself for letting them take advantage of me, when I should have just ignored them. But, I wasn't feeling the best and they had taken it too far, and I was weak.

When I got home, I then took it to our Lord Jesus Christ and confessed and repented my anger toward them and toward myself. I forgave them and myself, and ask our Lord to forgive me.

Now I have confirmed that I love them. But, I have asked myself do I go and say to them that I was sorry for giving them a blast. NO, but I will not avoid them, but be right back in their face as if nothing had happened. Turn the other cheek for them to strike again.

Love is the answer to forgiveness, because it NEVER FAILS.

Be blessed in Jesus' Name.

 

[justacook]

For me the easiest way to forgive is to remember that I have done worse to that person, or others.
When I asked God for forgivness it was for ALL I had done, what a list...
That list makes forgiving others easy.
Booze, drugs, infadelity, theft....
My past is my past, thank God.

 

[childofGod31]

This is what we should strive for, although it's hard.

JAM 1:19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

COL 3:8 But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.
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When I get offended, I get angry (it's only natural). But then I keep praying that God would help me to forgive. And over time, (time heals all wounds), I forgive. Complain (whine) to God, maybe that will help to relieve it. He knows it. He knows that you have been offended. But we have to "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." COL 3:13

 

[Elijah2]

For me the easiest way to forgive is to remember that I have done worse to that person, or others.
When I asked God for forgivness it was for ALL I had done, what a list...
That list makes forgiving others easy.
Booze, drugs, infadelity, theft....
My past is my past, thank God.

Yep, when you've been there and done it, it's easy to forgive and love.

And I've found that when I love all those people who did me harm, I then asked those who I had harmed to forgive me, through prayer, or directly through reconciliation.

I've always found that the three-little word of relationship: If you please; You are right; I am wrong; I am sorry; Please forgive me; I forgive you: and I love you will overcome and conquer anything that the roaring lion will throw at you.

Be blessed in Jesus' Name.

 

[GoldenKingGaze]

Forgive and love

We can only love as much as we have progressed in holiness, which means we should love the offender as much as anyone else. Feeling good about ourselves, while we are still not so loving but are on our way.

 

[lisah]

I find that if I think about the wrongs I might have committed against others in the past and weigh them against the wrongs that have been committed against me, that there is little other than forgiveness to be found because there is a certain "balance" to it. I find a deep sense of "humanity" in it.

I remember sitting at an event with someone who I felt had wronged my family. I learned to keep my distance from him. On that day I remember sitting and staring at him until he looked at me. He gave me a sad smile, a smile that pierced my heart, because I literally "felt" his humanity.



However, even at that, I am imperfect...thus some traces remain. They just do not weigh me nor the other(s) down so much. (Or...so I hope.)