How to forgive myself after sinful living and a break-up

[myhb90]

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[fdsfndls]

I'm so sorry.

I'm listening to this at the moment (as I read your post)

The Cranberries - Stars - YouTube

If we can come as we are to God - it also means he won't unfairly abandon or forsake us.

He knows how dirty, unclean and messy we are.

If that's the case - what hope do we have, - he knows us. On the outside, why would he -
but he is who he is.

I've struggled with unforgiveness all my life. I find the more I forgive others, the easier I find it to forgive myself.



PS. Pray for him. You probably already do, but if you do it unselfishly, God knows.

 

[joey_downunder]

If every Christian is honest enough with themselves they - like you - will admit that they have led others into sin as well.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

That is ALL sins of ALL varieties of ALL intensities of ALL people we have sinned against.. .. [and so on ad infitum]

It probably is best that you ask God to lead someone into your ex-boyfriend's life and minister to him that way. Probably a strong brother-in-Christ or a close relative who is strong in their faith would be the greatest help for him right now.

Also please remember you cannot walk someone else's walk of faith for them. You cannot impart spiritual strength to them. That is God's domain.

Let's say the absolute worst thing happens, your ex-boyfriend decides to reject you AND reject God - you are not responsible for his decision to do so. His salvation is in God's hands not anyone else's.

John 6:37All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out.

If he is a child of God your ex(?) will return to God. Trust that God has it all under control. Matthew 6:25-34

We pray that God's peace and wisdom is given to you in this challenging time of yours.

 

[mikenet2006]

You said you fear he.. "has another girlfriend who really cares about him" What makes you think that you didn't really care for him? Because you made mistakes and sinned? Sounds to me that you care a whole lot for him, but have a problem with expression like myself.

Don't be so hard on yourself, the best you can probably do is tell him everything your saying here because this post demonstrates that the love and concern for him exist. If your sorry for how things went spill your heart to him, what do you have to lose?

In the meantime continue to do what you can to be in a good place spiritually and mentally for yourself. He may see those things and appreciate them, which will increase your chances, if it doesn't work at least you'll walk away having improved things for yourself. Sounds like your already on the right path.

I know about this one because Im in a similar situation, things are working out for me and my lady though. I had to let her know what I was sorry for and why, and tell her how much I cared for her. I'm also having to do all kinds of self improvement right now to make sure things are different this time.

 

[Tylyr]

Also please remember you cannot walk someone else's walk of faith for them. You cannot impart spiritual strength to them. That is God's domain.

This is totally true! I have been through a slightly similar situation, except it was I who came to Christ and my girlfriend who continues to walk down the path of drugs and alcohol. We have been broken up for over two months now and I hear she is getting into even worse things...I tried talking to her about it, but she is as stubborn as a mule on the subject. It hurts my heart so bad to see her digging herself into a deeper hole because I care about her and know she hasn't had the greatest past. I would love to see her truly come to Christ, but she thinks she can handle everything on her own and there is nothing I can do to convince her otherwise.

Also, I recently found out that she is pursuing another guy. This guy happens to be one of my friends I've known since I was a kid. Also, when we were dating, I had a little suspicion of jealously toward this guy that I brought up with my girlfriend. She assured me that there was nothing and would never be nothing between them and I trusted that to be true. So now that she and him have already been out to dinner, you might see how this really grinds my gears!

I find that what helps best for these situations is to be in the right state of mind. I can't look at my ex and think things like, "Her life is going it the complete wrong direction, and she is a complete jerk for getting together with one of my buddies so early". Thinking like this will never leave me in a happy state of mind... I find the most comfort knowing that God has a reason for everything. I find the most happiness knowing that God has put me through what he has put me through because if he didn't I wouldn't be where I am today. If I had never gotten into a relationship with this girl, I would still be an atheist right now. I know God knew what he was doing with me, and I trust God knows what he is doing with my ex too. I trust that if God puts my old buddy in my ex's life that there is a reason for it. I trust that if God let's her keep digging an ever-deepening hole that he will eventually throw a rope down for her to climb back out, and this too I trust he has a meaningful reason for. All I can really do is pray for her. I pray every night for God to keep her out of harms way along this path that he has carved out for her. I trust him to do his work because he has done a wonderful job with me.

The only thing I can really do is let her know how much happiness I have gained through coming to Christ and hope for the day she will also seek this happiness.

It probably is best that you ask God to lead someone into your ex-boyfriend's life and minister to him that way. Probably a strong brother-in-Christ or a close relative who is strong in their faith would be the greatest help for him right now.

This too! This is a very good point! My ex-girlfriend is surrounded by people in her life who aren't Christians, including family. I feel like she has little chance in actually turning her life to God because she has nobody in her life to tell her how great it is. I have been praying to God to let me know when/if she is going through tough times so I can be that person to tell her how much God can help her. But after reading this statement I think I'm going to start praying for anyone to come into her life to show her this. Thanks for the comment!!