How to deal?

[emily_elizabeth]

My marriage has fallen apart, my husband was arrested for hitting my brother when my brother stepped in to protect me while my husband had me up against the kitchen sink with his hand in my face like he was going to hit me. It turns out that nearly everything he had told me about himself was a lie too, I've found tons of proof. He seems to have been a compulsive liar for a long time. I had fallen so far away from God and made some terrible mistakes, including trying an open relationship with him and another woman, before this incident occurred (it had nothing to do with that, he snapped at my brother and I had told him to leave him alone, that my brother and I had only been joking with each other). He's living with her now, she didn't care that he had threatened me with physical violence. The depths of my shame seem endless and my sins unforgivable now.

There were so many signs of the lies and abusive behavior with the way he talked to me and treated me. He's now spreading lies about me online, saying I cleaned out the bank account and my brother was my abuser. I don't know how to handle this. Will God forgive me? Will I be doomed to spend forever alone since I'm getting divorced? I just couldn't stay with someone who physically threatened me, hit my brother, and lied to me so extensively, even about the fact he was a minister who went to seminary.

I could sure use prayers and a friend who understands.

 

[iolair]

Emily I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve this.

You are precious and loved.

None of us deserve God's forgiveness, but it is a free gift to all who choose to accept it. He forgives you, Emily.

You're not doomed to spending forever alone, but your focus for now is to move through this terrible time and into healing.

Things take time.

It's maddening when someone lies about you, and abusers can be *so* convincing - after all, we fell for it. Some friends will believe his lies. I'm sorry, but that's how this usually goes. Avoiding contact with those who won't support you helps. In this time lean on those who will stay by your side.

Sending you a hug.

 

[emily_elizabeth]

Thank you!!

It's so hard being alone when you're used to having someone around 24/7 but I'm slowly getting used to it I suppose.

 

[bethrow]

awwww....Emily...I'm so sorry for what you've been through with your husband. I'm glad to see that you and your brother were never seriously hurt by this man.
God loves you and none of us deserve his forgiveness, but if we ask for forgiveness and we ask from the heart..then of course he will forgive you.
Don't worry about the lies he's spreading because it will come back to bite him eventually. Keep safe, stay away from him, and I recommend divorce in this situation.
You don't have to be alone forever, but be very careful in the next relationship you get into. Take your time and don't jump into anything for a while.

 

[dayhiker]

Emily ... so sorry you crossed the path of a guy who is that abusive.

Yes, pain for now, but don't be ashamed of doing what is right. Don't let his lies make you feel guilty. God loves you and you are forgiven. There is life after thing go all wrong. You went the extra mile to try and satisfy this guy and I'd not put you down for that. But he didn't love you as he didn't consider how he was hurting you. So its time to put him in the rear view mirror and start building that next life that will be so much better for all you have learned. God will be proud to walk with you into that new life. So embrace the Son, follow the Spirit and don't accept guilt today, so the wrongs are in the past where they belong.

 

[emily_elizabeth]

Thank you! I've filed for divorce and the papers have been served, so by early next year I'll be free of him. I struggle, but I suppose I just have to keep praying and trusting God will bring me through it. Thank you all again for your kind words and support.