How to Deal

[jasperbound]

I feel as though I'm supposed to be single for the rest of my life, and even if God does have somebody for me in the future, I do feel that I'm to live as though I'm going to be single for the rest of my life. Otherwise, I'll be desperate and wanting and end up worse for it. I would find no comfort in the hope, because I'd feel incomplete. Besides, I think that if I live as if I'm already in Heaven (where there will be no marriage), I will be in the correct mindset of how I'm to live now.
But, even though I think I do have what I really need (friendship), an emptiness does exist, and I do not know whether that emptiness is all in my imagination or whether it's real. For people who overcome their issues with the single life: how do you deal with it? Is it something that could last for the rest of one's life without that life ending up miserable and isolated?

 

[invisiblebabe]

Maybe the emptiness is real. God designed within us a need for human intimacy. If you don't have that to the necessary degree in your friendships, then an emptiness will exist.

 

[Sketcher]

Maybe your freindships aren't very deep. I get the same emptiness sometimes.

 

[covenantwmn]

Wow, great post. I think that if we're truly called to singleness, we won't feel that emptiness, perhaps a desire or interest, but not the emptiness you speak of. I feel it as well. I'm way older than you, lol, been divorced for 16 years, but this is something that gets the best of me from time to time. I have to remind myself that all is in His hands, that He is my portion until I meet the one He has for me, that is my issue~~patience, i'm NOT good at it!!! LOL God bless you and may He give you the desires of your heart.

 

[stormgade4]

I support you. Your proclaimation is one I know I couldn't keep very easily. It's those who are content with their walk with God and let God fill the place in their heart. My professional coach is 51 and never married and she is a very active and social individual. She wounldn't mind if someone came along but she isn't focusing on it. Needless to say, I've learned a lot from her.

I'm single because I'm fat, not because I want to be.

 

[london boy]

I can identify with you say about this emptiness - This is clearly you realising that there is something more out there, something you really want. It's not easy when you're someone like me, someone who is very eager to experience life as part of a couple, but God's grace pulls me through. The time will come for us all who desire to be together. We will see our wishes and hopes come into fruition

 

[Jamza]

I think with relationships, if you're not happy enough single, a relationship wouldn't necessarily plug the hole

 

[Heiroglyph]

Just like when I need a new job I don't sit and wait for God to send me one, I start applying everywhere and see which door God opens.
Go out and start applying for the job of being a husband to some ladies and see which door God opens for you.
Nowhere in the scriptures does it say that God has already got someone picked out for you and all you have to do is sit back and he/she will come to you. It makes no sense to wait for that to happen when that has not been promised. God always keeps his promises but that one just was not ever made.

 

[JPPT1974]

I think I am meant to be single. Because God wants me to be. And if I marry, then that's His will. If not, then that's His will as well.

 

[winglovesall]

Praying would help you and maybe some images will come and tell you something about it.

 

[silkamilkamonico]

Maybe the emptiness is real. God designed within us a need for human intimacy. If you don't have that to the necessary degree in your friendships, then an emptiness will exist.

What if you feel empty, but at the same time, just don't like being around other people for reasons.

Are you supposed to torture yourself for the rest of your life, and make yourself hang around with other people only because it is in God's design?

Does that mean his design for that particular person is to be lonely and miserable?

 

[winglovesall]

I'm sorry to hear that you feel that way --

I don't recommend you suicide or torture yourself for the rest of your life --

No -- smile, think positively about things -- I mean, things happen for a reason and you just have to identify those reasons --

I've been a loner for a long long time -- but it really doesn't matter at all -- when you look back at it, there are other things that were important as well.

 

[JPPT1974]

Only focus on God as you give Him all of your cares and worries.
Let Him lead & guide you!
Let Him make you happy as you only focus on happy things and thoughts.

 

[winglovesall]

Talk to him about it -- it develops the relationship!

 

[XVII]

I don't want to be single...I'm going into ministry (youth) and a wife would really really help me...

Some people can handle being single, it's easier for them...as for me right now...definately not

 

[~Lady Trekki~]

I wish I could say I feel complete without a husband, but I cant. And I don't think we're meant to. God made Eve for Adam and said it was "very good". I know there are some who are called to be single...but I think thats an exception personally. And while I don't feel complete...I can still be content. That's where trusting God comes in. I'm leaving the details to Him and in the meantime I'm enjoying my time as a single person. There are good and bad things to all circumstances...it's a matter of looking at the glass half full instead of half empty.

 

[jasperbound]

Thanks for all your responses! They are all helping me place things into perspective. I will always have some hope and desire for a mate, but unless I significantly evolve and am no longer as terrible with possible relationships as I am now, I'd rather not even near that Pandora's box, because opening it and getting the results I don't want (and getting the results I do want are now clearly not healthy either) always make me want to literally die.

I support you. Your proclaimation is one I know I couldn't keep very easily. It's those who are content with their walk with God and let God fill the place in their heart. My professional coach is 51 and never married and she is a very active and social individual. She wounldn't mind if someone came along but she isn't focusing on it. Needless to say, I've learned a lot from her.

Thank you for sharing this. People such as her help me realize that single-hood does equal a bad and lonely life.