How to cope with being perpetually single

[defeatedchristian]

You did ask for it, silly. You started this thread (as well as many others). We're all just trying to help you, and encourage you, and answer your questions from a Christian's perspective (hopefully).

Good. Not sure how Castlevania is Christian, but no matter.

I have a question for you: It seems to be common Christian teaching for a man to marry an unattractive woman for spiritual reasons or something. Can you explain why Christians teach this? I find this idea insane.

 

[Bristecom]

Good. Not sure how Castlevania is Christian, but no matter.

I have a question for you: It seems to be common Christian teaching for a man to marry an unattractive woman for spiritual reasons or something. Can you explain why Christians teach this? I find this idea insane.

Well I don't think it's as common as you might think but I have heard it implied before. The reason being is to learn to love unconditionally as Christ does for us. However, I haven't heard any pastor actually dogmatically tell people to do that - they only used it as an example so that we might better understand Christ's love. Nobody should be forcing you to marry a certain person. If they are then you should probably run from them. LOL

But as I mentioned before in one of your threads, a woman's beauty can actually manifest from the inside. If she isn't that pretty but is full of love and is kind and gentle and humble and willing to do anything to help, then that is something truly beautiful. But if she is outwardly pretty yet inwardly ugly and selfish and expects you to serve her like a queen and whines and complains all the time that you aren't doing enough for her, or if she seems to have a lot of hatred of other people, always gossiping or saying cruel things, then that type of woman would be a nightmare to live with despite her appearances. Of course, ideally you would want to find a woman who meets both your physical and mental/spiritual preferences but you do have to be realistic.

And no, Castlevania isn't a Christian game series but I tend to draw parallels from movies and games with Christianity. Alucard was the reverse of Dracula (hence the name). He was half human/half spiritual being, but chose to fight on behalf of the humans to put an end to Dracula and his evil underlings so that they would stop stealing and tormenting souls. Then he puts himself into eternal sleep because he believed that his kind should have never existed in the world and leaves the rest up to the Belmont family lineage (humans) to fight off lesser demons/evil spirits and ensure that Dracula isn't resurrected. But regardless, I just felt like using that picture at the time I signed up for this forum 2 years ago and haven't bothered changing it since.

 

[Saucy]

I think as I've gotten older, I've just gotten used to it and the more content I become in God. I trust Him so He knows what's best for me more than I do.

 

[Bristecom]

By the way, there are also verses in the Bible that seem to back up this idea as well. A couple that come to mind are:

Proverbs 31:30 - Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

and

Proverbs 21:29 - It is better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.

As well as the many stories of beautiful women causing godly men to fall. So the moral should be clear, outward beauty is not necessarily something we are to avoid but we certainly shouldn't consider it the primary determining factor. But if you don't have a good feeling about some person from the start, then that's probably a good sign it won't work anyway.

 

[defeatedchristian]

I'll never understand you people's way of thinking. Settling is not something I would do.

 

[Blank123]

.

 

[Sketcher]

Single.

I am. As an old man, I would have to marry an old woman who cannot bear children. Women don't want an old man, they want somebody their own age.

How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?

 

[Spunkn]

You did ask for it, silly. You started this thread (as well as many others). We're all just trying to help you, and encourage you, and answer your questions from a Christian's perspective (hopefully).

This.

And

I don't think you're listening to whats being said. Or you're not understanding whats actually being said.

You're not even trying to change, or listening to what is being said. That's your biggest problem. Until you accept, that you might have to change some things about yourself, starting with your attitude nothing is going to change.

Harsh, but it's true.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

Single.

I am. As an old man, I would have to marry an old woman who cannot bear children. Women don't want an old man, they want somebody their own age.

Not true in every case. There ARE women who are attracted to older men. I am one of these women.

*steps onto soapbox*

For the one millionth time: Age is a number to me. I find men who are 30+ years my senior just as attractive and desirable as any man around my own age. It truly makes no difference to me. So, not all women strictly want somebody their own age.

*steps off soapbox*

I'll never understand you people's way of thinking. Settling is not something I would do.

I don't think anyone ever said anything about 'settling'. That's certainly not something that I personally would ever encourage. People are better off staying single rather than settling; I think settling is one of the worst mistakes/choices anyone could ever make in their life.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

I find men who are 30+ years my senior just as attractive and desirable as any man around my own age.

Methinks even quite a bit more so.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

Methinks even quite a bit more so.

Button it up, Michael.

Y'all have blown it out of proportion in your minds. I say 30+ (which means like 30 to about 45 years), but you guys instantly interpret it as me saying I'm way into elderly men who are like 92. Lol.

 

[Spunkn]

Button it up, Michael.

Y'all have blown it out of proportion in your minds. I say 30+ (which means like 30 to about 45 years), but you guys instantly interpret as me saying I'm way into elderly men who like 92. Lol.

I know it's been posted before....but I can't help it. It's so epic.

/thread derail

 

[Miss Spaulding]

I know it's been posted before....but I can't help it. It's so epic.

/thread derail

BEST. PIC. EVER.

 

[Messy]

I don't care either. My ex is 12 years older and I got my last child when I was 39.

 

[ninzae]

I know it's been posted before....but I can't help it. It's so epic.

/thread derail

hohohoho....no words for this pic.

 

[Amber.ly]

I find men who are 30+ years my senior just as attractive and desirable as any man around my own age.

Ok, this sentence to me is saying "I'm attracted to guys who are 53 and above"

---> me, trying to picture it.

Of course, the day I found out that my mom was 4 years older than my dad was a bad day. A woman with a younger guy gives me the heebie jeebies just as much as an older guy with a much younger girl.

I admit, I'm an ageist. Age is not just a number to me

 

[Miss Spaulding]

Ok, this sentence to me is saying "I'm attracted to guys who are 53 and above"

---> me, trying to picture it.

Of course, the day I found out that my mom was 4 years older than my dad was a bad day. A woman with a younger guy gives me the heebie jeebies just as much as an older guy with a much younger girl.

I admit, I'm an ageist. Age is not just a number to me

This totally made me laugh.

Oh my word...yes. I've spotted or spoken to many an older man in public that had me all... starstruck for a moment. It's not about the fact that they're 50 or so, it has everything to do with what age, in a maturity sense, does to them. They also take on a physical kind of look that's just, well...attractive. Lol. I can't help it, it's simply the way I am.

I don't care either. My ex is 12 years older and I got my last child when I was 39.

Yeah. My sister's husband is 12 years older than she is. And another sister of mine dated a guy who was about 12 years older than her as well. She'd probably still be with him today but he passed away from cancer.

 

[Tirgithin]

Plenty of women go for older men. Also, there is a bit of a double standard (at least where I am from), that when a man is old, he can be seen as handsome, his face has "character". But when a woman is old, in comparison, people are less likely to say genuinely that she looks beautiful.

To add to Bristecom verses, my favorite since I discovered it as teen:
Proverbs 11:22 As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.

So beauty is wonderful and all, but without content..yeah

@ Spunkn: Epic pic xD I kind of want it as wallpaper, just so I will smile everytime I see it =D

 

[Bristecom]

Eheh... well this topic has taken a strange turn but I'll shoot. I do like maturity in older women (and their shapeliness :o) but I'd still rather grow up with someone around my age. Plus, there'd probably be the tendency for her to take charge since she's older which wouldn't be right (I don't want another mom). So I do tend to draw the line at about 21 minimum (~4 years younger) and 28 maximum (~2 years older).

 

[Strider1002]

Oh my word...yes. I've spotted or spoken to many an older man in public that had me all... starstruck for a moment. It's not about the fact that they're 50 or so, it has everything to do with what age, in a maturity sense, does to them. They also take on a physical kind of look that's just, well...attractive. Lol. I can't help it, it's simply the way I am.

Well, not to brag but... I do have a couple of gray hairs in my beard...