How to cope with a family of unbelievers?

[Believer000]

I was not bought up in a Christian household and my immediate (and beyond) are all unbelivers to my knowledge. There is two issues I'm struggling with, - the first is being treated as an outsider by my parents and siblings due to my strong beliefs (I have only been a God fearing Christian for 3 years or so). But it's like I cannot talk to them the same way I used to because I'm not the same person. My mother actually threw away one of Bibles. The second is dealing with the hurt of knowing they are unsaved. I struggle with it every day and pray for their hearts to be unhardenend. It's like knowing your loved ones will die in a plane crash and not being able to stop them getting on it.

 

[splish- splash]

I know.. Please do trust in The Lord and keep praying for them. God makes everything beautiful, in its season.

 

[Dansiph]

I was not bought up in a Christian household and my immediate (and beyond) are all unbelivers to my knowledge. There is two issues I'm struggling with, - the first is being treated as an outsider by my parents and siblings due to my strong beliefs (I have only been a God fearing Christian for 3 years or so). But it's like I cannot talk to them the same way I used to because I'm not the same person. My mother actually threw away one of Bibles. The second is dealing with the hurt of knowing they are unsaved. I struggle with it every day and pray for their hearts to be unhardenend. It's like knowing your loved ones will die in a plane crash and not being able to stop them getting on it.

I think praying for them is important. I posted this in another thread the other day for some prayer ideas: https://www.challies.com/articles/how-to-pray-for-unbelievers/. There's even prayers on the page for you yourself.

I'm very grateful that after telling my mum the gospel she got saved a couple of months after me. So, I have a Christian family member to talk to and grow alongside. I appreciate though it must be difficult being the only Christian in your family. Try to get on their level and not see yourself as too different or "not the same person". I struggled with that but the only reason you're not the same person is because of God. Also

Paul said
1 Corinthians 9:20-22 KJV
(20) And unto the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain the Jews; to them that are under the law, as under the law, that I might gain them that are under the law;
(21) To them that are without law, as without law, (being not without law to God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without law.
(22) To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some.

 

[Refirened]

I was not bought up in a Christian household and my immediate (and beyond) are all unbelivers to my knowledge. There is two issues I'm struggling with, - the first is being treated as an outsider by my parents and siblings due to my strong beliefs (I have only been a God fearing Christian for 3 years or so). But it's like I cannot talk to them the same way I used to because I'm not the same person. My mother actually threw away one of Bibles. The second is dealing with the hurt of knowing they are unsaved. I struggle with it every day and pray for their hearts to be unhardenend. It's like knowing your loved ones will die in a plane crash and not being able to stop them getting on it.

I totally get it because when I got saved most of my family were also unsaved. I to was not brought up a Christian but when I became converted I got radically converted and even to some Christians was an extremist. Extremist in that I didn't even celebrate worldly festivals or mainstream Christian festivals such as Christmas or watch television or listen to secular music anymore or even go to the pub for just 1. My family and old friends thought id gone mad and sometimes I felt mad and unable to fit into the world or the church due to my inward convictions of the truths that God was revealing to me. This continues due to all my convictions and the days and times we are in in relation to prophecy. Its difficult to relate and have things in common with people who participate in things which through convictions we as believers cannot.

2 of my family members have over time decided to get to know Jesus and at times others have shown interest. This is through continually praying and sowing seeds and leaving the rest up to God.

 

[Josheb]

I was not bought up in a Christian household and my immediate (and beyond) are all unbelivers to my knowledge. There is two issues I'm struggling with, - the first is being treated as an outsider by my parents and siblings due to my strong beliefs (I have only been a God fearing Christian for 3 years or so). But it's like I cannot talk to them the same way I used to because I'm not the same person. My mother actually threw away one of Bibles. The second is dealing with the hurt of knowing they are unsaved. I struggle with it every day and pray for their hearts to be unhardenend. It's like knowing your loved ones will die in a plane crash and not being able to stop them getting on it.

Everyone dies.

Couple of different ways to look at this:

1) You have no idea what lies ahead for them. My family got saved one at a time, my mother when she was in her forties, myself at age 25, my sister and youngest brother in their teens as kids, and my remaining brother as he neared 50. The last one had been antagonistic to our conversion and faith. Then God got him .

2) Develop a better understanding of soteriology because Arms place an emphasis on the sinner's will while Cals place the whole emphasis on God's.

3) In the end everyone gets exactly what they want: the unrepentant get the denial they've spent their whole lives demanding. The repentant get joy and eternal life. The only reason we're sad for them is because they didn't what we wanted for them. Would you say the same thing if I gave you a ten speed bike and you said you wanted an 18-speeder? No, you can't have what you want, you must take what I give you! You'd like to give them understanding so they could be saved but they are not interested. They have what they want. If God has plans to change that then they don't stand a chance in not changing. You match your desires with God's and your family members..... no more angst.

4) Now you know something of how God feels and what its like from His pov for Him to be rejected.

5) Your best apologetic is a life well-lived. Stop irritating them. Stop giving them reason to complain or throw away your Bibles.

You get the drift?

Change the way you think and you'll change the way you act. The emotions will follow. As a man thinketh, so he is.

 

[Michie]

Calling @Chrystal-J She has the same problem and may be able to give you some advise.

 

[Jay Sea]

I was not bought up in a Christian household and my immediate (and beyond) are all unbelivers to my knowledge. There is two issues I'm struggling with, - the first is being treated as an outsider by my parents and siblings due to my strong beliefs (I have only been a God fearing Christian for 3 years or so). But it's like I cannot talk to them the same way I used to because I'm not the same person. My mother actually threw away one of Bibles. The second is dealing with the hurt of knowing they are unsaved. I struggle with it every day and pray for their hearts to be unhardenend. It's like knowing your loved ones will die in a plane crash and not being able to stop them getting on it.

Yeshua did not try to persuade others to join synagogue but to bring God's love and compassion to all he met by understanding them and inspiring them by his life and deeds. IE. show do not tell. Understand them from their perspective. Let the spirit do the work.
In Love
Jay

 

[Aldrin25]

Don't just pray for them. Focus your mind also on Jesus, so the lifestyle of Obedience will show on them.

Someday, they will realize they are going to hell because they are experiencing the Love of Jesus from you and seeing.

Pray and Try to build connection on them also as much as you can.... then always listen to them.. let them know you care, even the the most bad person in your life will soften their heart because of your showing love on them even they are treating you like garbage.

This is what the Lord taught me, base in my experience in Christian Life.

 

[tturt]

Asking Yahweh to remove the blinders from their minds and let them see the wonderful news of Christ.
. "...for their minds have been blinded by the god of this age, leaving them in unbelief. Their blindness keeps them from seeing the dayspring light of the wonderful news of the glory of Jesus Christ, who is the divine image of God."
II Cor 4:4

 

[Joined2krist]

Two things, first; pray for them everyday, secondly; if you have the option of moving out of the house, take it

 

[Bob Crowley]

I was not bought up in a Christian household and my immediate (and beyond) are all unbelivers to my knowledge. There is two issues I'm struggling with, - the first is being treated as an outsider by my parents and siblings due to my strong beliefs (I have only been a God fearing Christian for 3 years or so). But it's like I cannot talk to them the same way I used to because I'm not the same person. My mother actually threw away one of Bibles. The second is dealing with the hurt of knowing they are unsaved. I struggle with it every day and pray for their hearts to be unhardenend. It's like knowing your loved ones will die in a plane crash and not being able to stop them getting on it.

I'm not the best person to give a reply, as my father died several years before I became a Christian, and I'm almost certain he's in Hell, due to a peculiar event that happened the night he died (when I was still an atheist) viz. he appeared in my room, we talked and argued, and at the very end he gave this absolutely terrifying scream and then just disappeared. I don't miss him - he was far too cruel for that for the first 20 years of my life - but I'm pretty sure he's lost.

My mother and sister died some years after I became Christian. I'm not sure where my mother is (Purgatory I hope, since I'm Catholic), and I suspect my sister might get to heaven eventually. They're all dead, and I'm the only one left. I did pray fairly consistently for them at one stage, but I got a bit disillusioned since God didn't seem to be doing His bit.

But God won't interfere with our free will. He may knock quite loudly sometimes, but we still have to open the door. We're fond of talking about the Father's loving response to the prodigal son, but we overlook the fact the prodigal son had to come to his senses first.

Sometimes you've just got to let God be the one in charge. He's the judge, not us.

People have free will, including the members of your family. They can choose for God or against Him. As Christ put it, he who loves father of mother more than Him is not worthy of Him, and on His account mother will be against daughter in law etc. etc. We call Him the prince of peace, but one of His forthright declarations was that He did not come to bring peace to the earth - instead He brought division, and you're seeing that within your own family.

They're hard words, but that's the way it is.

In the meantime you might have to keep some distance, and grow more in your own faith first and stick close to your church. You may need to find a "family group" in your church - people you can rely on and get along with, and whose company you enjoy.

In the final analysis the best witness is personal example. If they see you gradually changing for the better, then you might see some positive response. But don't expect overnight conversions - they're quite rare.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

We pray for them and leave them up to God.
If they belong to Him
they will get there
if not we will probably never know.
M