How to control bad temper?

Jesus_is_Saint · Jun 17, 2017

How to control bad temper?
Being very angry and scold and curse people, this is my bad habit.

Kit Sigmon · Jun 17, 2017

When did this start?

jimmyjimmy · Jun 17, 2017

Jesus_is_Saint said:
How to control bad temper?
Being very angry and scold and curse people, this is my bad habit.

The question is not, "how", but "who".

"What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

(Romans 7:24-25)

ViaCrucis · Jun 17, 2017

Jesus_is_Saint said:
How to control bad temper?
Being very angry and scold and curse people, this is my bad habit.

A very good recipe might be a combination of anger management, counseling, and lots of prayer. Anger management and counseling/therapy can help perhaps shed light on the underlying problems that you may not even be aware of, and how to manage it all in an emotionally healthy way. And prayer, well, always prayer.

-CryptoLutheran

4x4toy · Jun 17, 2017

Jesus_is_Saint said:
How to control bad temper?
Being very angry and scold and curse people, this is my bad habit.

Be angry but sin not .. Don't say anything to Mike Tyson you couldn't say to a 5 yr old girl and don't say anything to a 5 yr old girl you wouldn't say to Mike Tyson .

Fish Catcher Jim · Jun 17, 2017

Jesus_is_Saint said:
How to control bad temper?
Being very angry and scold and curse people, this is my bad habit.

Here is how you get to the place where you can.
It's Totally Your Choice to do so or not.
Those are all fruits of the flesh that you are concerned about. That's your Job and you will need to have God's word in you.
Galatians 5:16 and Romans 12:2 and 2Corinthians 10:4-5

Romans 12:2
And be not conformed to this world; but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind that ye may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God

((Get His word in you each and every day and speak His word each and every day))

2 Corinthians 10:4-5
4... For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to pulling down strong holds
5... Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.

((Begin to practice the words you speak and thoughts you think for our thoughts and words to control how we act or react and believe. Our own words do more do influence our thinking then most of everything else.))

Galatians 5:16
This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh

((The more you do the first two the more you will begin to walk in the Spirit and you will be amazed to say the least.))

All done through the Grace of God
who maketh all grace abound to me. (2Corinthians 9:8)

Blessings
FCJ

Fish Catcher Jim · Jun 17, 2017

ViaCrucis said:
A very good recipe might be a combination of anger management, counseling, and lots of prayer. Anger management and counseling/therapy can help perhaps shed light on the underlying problems that you may not even be aware of, and how to manage it all in an emotionally healthy way. And prayer, well, always prayer.

Greetings @ViaCrucis
Could you provide scripture to back this?
I don't see where we are told to manage the flesh but to crucify it.

I am not trying to offend you at all. I have just not heard it this way and if I have missed something then I should be shown.
Thank You !!
Blessings
FCJ

Sketcher · Jun 17, 2017

Lashing out in anger doesn't get you what you really want. Its consequences will bring more of what you don't want. Remembering this before you get out of control is useful.

Jesus_is_Saint · Jun 17, 2017

I know the Scriptures, but bad temper is very difficult to control, the temper controls me instead,
I am powerless to overcome bad temper, the emotion just exploded up!
And bad words come out of my mouth.
Prayer cannot stop this!

jimmyjimmy · Jun 18, 2017

Jesus_is_Saint said:
I know the Scriptures, but bad temper is very difficult to control, the temper controls me instead,
I am powerless to overcome bad temper, the emotion just exploded up!
And bad words come out of my mouth.
Prayer cannot stop this!

Correct. You are trapped. A sinner cannot free himself from sin. He must be rested from sin. There is no technique.

Jesus_is_Saint · Jun 18, 2017

Do I need to pray 1000 times so that the Holy Spirit will change me?

jimmyjimmy · Jun 18, 2017

Jesus_is_Saint said:
Do I need to pray 1000 times so that the Holy Spirit will change me?

No.

Christianity is not about changing you. It's about your dying.

tturt · Jun 19, 2017

Posted "I know the Scriptures, but bad temper is very difficult to control, the temper controls me instead, I am powerless to overcome bad temper, the emotion just exploded up! And bad words come out of my mouth. Prayer cannot stop this! "

I thought the same thing but have learned you can control your temper with Yahweh's help. There's numerous benefits to not getting angry. For one thing, we make better decisions. Since you know Scripture, I won't post them but you'll see their application. Anyway, I got alone with Yahweh and spent some time asking Him for Godly sorrow because that leads to repentance (II Cor 7:10). Then as Keep Calm posted, Repent. I'm not talking just saying I'm sorry for getting angry and moving on. No, got down to the basics - asked Him to remove bitterness, rejection, impatience, pride, jealousy and everything else I needed to include. Found a list online and went through it. Then asks Yahweh for His help because I knew I couldn't do this without His constant help. Asked Him for the fruit of His Spirit (Gal 5).

Then on a daily basis, spent more time praising and worshiping Him such as Psa 145. Our thoughts control our behavior. So when a situation got difficult for any reason, immediately took a nanosecond (or shorter) and asked Yahweh for His peace as John 14:27. (Sometimes expressed with Help!) Plus it's His peace that He's giving! Has it been easy or am I successful all the time? Nope but have made great gains. An example is previously said words I shouldn't have dozens of times a day but now maybe 3-4 times a week. I have to rely on Him continuously. At the end of the day, I apply Eph 4:26 don't let the sun go down on my wrath so I take care of that with His help, too.

NothingIsImpossible · Jun 19, 2017

First thing I had to do was realize I was in control of my when I would become enraged. It wasn't my mothers fault (who has anger issues), it wasn't some random persons fault. It was mine. I had to learn to choose how to react when I felt anger come on. I had to back away and say to myself "Do you want to get mad and just continue this cycle? Or do you want to stop and be a new person?".

For some its easier to stop then for others. At first it wasn't easy because I spent to much time online around argumentative mean people. Which btw is the next step. If you know certain things trigger you like lets say playing a game, or hanging out at forums that make you mad, stop doing those things. In my case too I also stopped watching movies about people who were mad at being treated bad and would go get evil revenge on people. I also stopped watching movies with tons and tons of swearing.

It may not be easy to get free from anger but its possible with Gods help. And if you choose to let Him help you. Because trying to stop it by ourselves is like trying to stop a train with our bare hands.... it doesn't end well. Maybe get an accountability partner so when you slip up and get angry you can talk to them so they can help you.

Also pray, pray and pray.

Jesus_is_Saint · Jun 19, 2017

I also hate people that I don't like.
I feel that I want to beat them up, or even to kill them.
It is very difficult to love your neighbor as yourself.

tturt · Jun 19, 2017

Didn't mean to imply that this is easy. We can just live the way we want to and ignore Him and His Word. Or we can let Him accomplish His purpose that He has for us - that's the reason why we are alive (Rom 8:28 and II Tim 1:9).

Prayer is always good. But you have to do your part by doing what Scripture says.

When you don't have these feelings, thoughts and outbursts, just think of the testimony you'll have - giving Yahweh the honor due to Him.

LoricaLady · Jun 19, 2017

Jesus_is_Saint said:
How to control bad temper?
Being very angry and scold and curse people, this is my bad habit.

I have had a problem with temper too and can honestly say I am waaaaay better. Here is what I have learned that helped.

I believe the biggest hindrance to spiritual growth is seen when we keep trying and trying. It's like so often we just don't get it that trying ain't workin'!

If there is a big enough stronghold, like temper or low self worth, or whatever, you can't make it go away by trying to make it go away! Often we have allowed the problems through our own bad choices and we are told "Whoever continues to sin becomes a slave to sin."

So, how do you quit being a slave? Well, the devil is bigger than us and his chains are stronger than us once they go on. But there is One Who came to set us free. He is infinitely stronger than the devil. However, He has also been called The Perfect Gentleman. If he sees we want to try on our own efforts to do something, even though He knows we cannot do it, He will let us until we come to the point of surrender in our hearts, and let HIM free us.

He said "Without Me you can do nothing." That was not an understatement. Praying you will quit trying and truly turn it all over to Him.

NothingIsImpossible · Jun 19, 2017

Jesus_is_Saint said:
I also hate people that I don't like.
I feel that I want to beat them up, or even to kill them.
It is very difficult to love your neighbor as yourself.

If this is the case I'd seek help for that. I mean maybe you feel you wouldn't really do that when confronted with someone. But you never know. I used personally like violent things. I'd never hurt anyone of course because I don't want to. But none the less I watched violent movies, played violent games...etc to the point of my dreams always involved violence. I was usually a hero killing bad people (Shooting guns, using powers...etc). But none the less it was violence.

I'd even pretend when awak of violent things. Like driving a monster truck through houses (well never killing anyone of course). I guess I liked anarchy and carnage. I would even think of people I truly hated and beating them up. Its why I started to stay away from such things so my mind would rewire itself. Now I don't think like that. I can watch a movie with nothing changing me into a violent person again. Again, the violence stuff was only in thought. I was very much a pacifist when it came to the real word despite my dreams and feelings.

I am a pacifist now too. I mean when I see a terrorist cutting off someones head I could go in like superman and knock the person out and hand them over to the police. But I think most people don't want to see someone hurt let alone killed. Actually may sound silly but Superman really was good for me because hes totally against killing or even badly hurting someone. Only on VERY rare occasions has he had to kill someone and he hates having to do that. I think Batman is the same way, well in modern comics. He wasn't as nice in the original comics.

Jesus_is_Saint · Jun 20, 2017

Jesus also felt angry when he saw the traders in temple.

tturt · Jun 20, 2017

In your OP, it seemed like you sincerely wanted to change with "How to control bad temper?" but since that one statement, there's only been declarations of how you think and feel and justification for it.

Yet thoughtful responses have been given.

Since you're almost 50 years old, thought earlier you might really want to make this important change in your life. But looks like I was wrong.

How to control bad temper?

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