How strict or not strict was your upbringing?

[MehGuy]

As someone who grew up in a very Christian (conservative leaning) home I had a somewhat strict upbringing, albeit a little unusual.

My father was mainly concerned about violence and things perceived as witchcraft. Anything with powers was forbidden in the house. I remember my father discovering what Pokémon was and made me stop watching the show (although he felt bad and let me keep the cards I previously purchased). Most video games were off limits. My father had the philosophy that a Christian had no business taking delight in the suffering of others, real or fictional.

Although my father differed with many other Christian conservative fathers in that he did not believe in sheltering. He wanted me to go to a secular school and have atheist friends. Technically I'm not really sure I can call my upbringing as "sheltered". I was allowed to have TV and internet in my room too.

It was strange, because it was different hanging out with my other conservative Christian friends in hour households. My upbringing wasn't very sex negative, and crude television comedy shows were allowed. Sex positivity was never promoted, but I was shielded from a lot of sex-based shame I watched my other Christian friends go through. Which was the opposite with other conservative families I know.

Sometimes it was hard to understand what my father didn't like. He thought certain Pizza chains were evil because you go too much pizza for a cheap price. I remember begging for satellite TV because it had more channels than our cable package for a cheaper price, but he just said that was decadent and it was better to pay more for less.. lol. > _ >

Anyways it's your turn. Kind of interested too, given the generational differences from the posters here.

 

[Robban]

My parents of blessed memory were, looking back

the best, simply the best.

We were eight children and very protected and sheltered.

Was not allowed friends of any kind, well, not allowed is a bit much to say, better maybe, we had no friends.

We had eachother,

Was the entire time warned of the dangers out in the world.

Sharks, was the common phrase, haha.

No, it was a great time all in all.

Wind up grammophone, changing the needle often.

No wonderful hardworking wonderful people.

I can only be thankful.

 

[MehGuy]

My parents of blessed memory were, looking back

the best, simply the best.

We were eight children and very protected and sheltered.

Was not allowed friends of any kind, well, not allowed is a bit much to say, better maybe, we had no friends.

We had eachother,

Was the entire time warned of the dangers out in the world.

Sharks, was the common phrase, haha.

No, it was a great time all in all.

Wind up grammophone, changing the needle often.

No wonderful hardworking wonderful people.

I can only be thankful.

I am sorry to hear about them not letting you have friends. My father was the opposite, I was raised that I wasn't too good to not be anybody's friend, lol. We're all children of God, one isn't better than the other.

 

[Robban]

I am sorry to hear about them not letting you have friends. My father was the opposite, I was raised that I wasn't too good to not be anybody's friend, lol. We're all children of God, one isn't better than the other.

It was more about being influenced would think.

You never know, they may be agents for JC. haha.

We kept ourselves to ourselves more or less,

though were respected by the neighbors.

They, parents, refused all social aid we learned to fend for ourselves it that way.

And above all to trust in the One above.

From day one more or less from our mother.

I am thankful for such wonderful parents.

 

[MehGuy]

It was more about being influenced would think.

You never know, they may be agents for JC. haha.

We kept ourselves to ourselves more or less,

though were respected by the neighbors.

They, parents, refused all social aid we learned to fend for ourselves it that way.

And above all to trust in the One above.

From day one more or less from our mother.

I am thankful for such wonderful parents.

Influenced in what way? Down a non-Christian path?

What time period was your upbringing if you do not mind me asking? Mine was the 90s and 00s.

 

[Robban]

Influenced in what way? Down a non-Christian path?

What time period was your upbringing if you do not mind me asking? Mine was the 90s and 00s.

No, rather be mislead down a Christian path.

Christians were never a topic of conversation,

Though I experienced a couple of times when my mother and I were waiting for a bus, I was not that old,

she gave a couple of those Christians a real broardside.

woohoo!

Born 1942, birthday next week,

 

[MehGuy]

No, rather be mislead down a Christian path.

Christians were never a topic of conversation,

Though I experienced a couple of times when my mother and I were waiting for a bus, I was not that old,

she gave a couple of those Christians a real broardside.

woohoo!

Born 1942, birthday next week,

Ah ok, so your home was not very religious?

Sorry, looking at your side profile I see Judaism. Judaism, Christianity, I assume they can still produce similar strict upbringings.

 

[Robban]

Ah ok, so your home was not very religious?

Sorry, looking at your side profile I see Judaism. Judaism, Christianity, I assume they can still produce similar strict upbringings.

I have never regarded myself as religious earlier,

but going through life and having a variety of people,

straight out of the blue asking if I was religious.

Got to thinking, why, so today I would say yes, though I don't like it.
Feels kind of odd.

The last years of working I was building houses and a couple of fellows kept asking me questions, when we were having coffee break.

So I answered their questions, I had never mentioned my faith.

So days went by and they kept asking and asking.

One day so one of them said, "Heh, guess what, I bought a bible"

Next day the other fellow he too had bought a Bible and one for his wife,
and said he was going to join a Bible study group.

Wow, time for me to vanish, I thought.haha.

 

[seeking.IAM]

I grew up in a fairly strict family I'd say, leastwise to Christian practice. My dad served one pastorate in the Wesleyan Methodist Church before becoming a Methodist preacher, which he was until he retired.

Life was easy for me as a male preschooler while dad was a Wesleyan. Most of the rules seemed to fall upon my mom and sisters. I especially remember they couldn't wear slacks or make-up. Dad's words, "We're becoming Methodists," were still hanging in the air as my mom and sisters rushed downtown to buy make up and slacks.

Dad always did remain more conservative than most Methodists, leastwise it seemed that way to me. No card playing. No dancing. No working on Sunday or causing other people to work. Sunday after church all the teenagers headed across the street to the drugstore with the soda fountain in back -- except me. I couldn't go lest I cause a soda jerk to work on the Sabbath. Language was held to be of high importance and euphemisms counted. "Gosh darn it" was as bad as you know what and could get a fella's mouth washed out with soap. I was never around someone who drank or in the same room as alcohol until I went off to college.

Dad softened a bit over time. My favorite dad story came toward the end of high school. Something wasn't going right whilst doing a brake job on the car. Dad fetched me from in front of the TV asking for help. He said, "You don't fix cars and I do. You cuss and I don't. Come out here and cuss at this car while I try to fix this brake." I did. That Chevy was called names it had never heard before. It is now one of my favorite dad memories.

My grandparents were more conservative, both fun and scary at the same time. They were end-times obsessed, and I full expected Jesus to come before I left their house from each visit. There was nightly Bible reading before bed and usually a fire and brimstone radio preacher to listen to - not what an impressionable child wants to be thinking about right before the lights are turned off for bed. Grandpa would let crops rot in the field rather than harvest on a Sunday. Sundays were devoted to rest and visiting family or friends. You couldn't bake a cake or pie there on Sunday because that was work. But you could make candy or taffy because that was play. It always seemed like a pretty fuzzy line to draw, and pulling taffy sure seemed like work to me. Yard games were pretty fun. No TV was allowed to be played on Sunday, which wasn't too bad generally. But, you never wanted to go to grandpa's and grandma's if the seventh game of the World Series fell on a Sunday. You'd just be out of luck.

 

[MehGuy]

I have never regarded myself as religious earlier,

but going through life and having a variety of people,

straight out of the blue asking if I was religious.

Got to thinking, why, so today I would say yes, though I don't like it.
Feels kind of odd.

The last years of working I was building houses and a couple of fellows kept asking me questions, when we were having coffee break.

So I answered their questions, I had never mentioned my faith.

So days went by and they kept asking and asking.

One day so one of them said, "Heh, guess what, I bought a bible"

Next day the other fellow he too had bought a Bible and one for his wife,
and said he was going to join a Bible study group.

Wow, time for me to vanish, I thought.haha.

I don't know the situation, but were your parents somewhat afraid of you being jews meeting others? I assume you grew up in Sweden, which I imagine jews are not all too common?

 

[Hazelelponi]

Very strict upbringing.

There were no video games when I was young, the internet hadn't yet been invented and only a very few people had satellite dishes: they were very expensive (around 10 thousand dollars back then) and the purpose - according to my father - was to get for free what companies charged money for (a very bad thing). I think he taught me that during the time that was true - before the heavy encryption we have today over satellite and cable TV.

My parents didn't pay for television, we had whatever stations the television picked up, and it was not the center of our lives. My parents wouldn't even watch the news (too graphic) in front of us kids, and we were extremely limited in what shows we were allowed to watch. Shows like I Love Lucy, Fantasy Island, Gilligan's Island, the Honeymooners etc were not allowed as they were in "bad taste", but we could watch shows like Leave It to Beaver, the Walton's and often the Disney movie that was aired on Sunday nights.

Most modern music wasn't allowed either. We knew nothing about sex other than we weren't allowed to be alone with anyone from the opposite sex and we had to cover as much flesh as humanly possible around even male family members.

Other than that, perfectly normal upbringing. We often played family games in the evenings, my mom didn't work so was always there, she cooked pretty much everything we ate from scratch. I had a great relationship with my dad, and went to public school. My school freinds would come over to my house often or I went over to theirs etc, like everyone else.

And like everyone else the grass always seemed greener on the other side of the fence. My school freinds loved the fact my mom cooked all the time, and I loved the fact my friends mom's worked and were never there and allowed them to eat things like Oreo cookies... Lol.

 

[RDKirk]

I was a kid pre-Internet, pre-cable, even pre-color.

There wasn't much about Captain Kangaroo, King Kong, and the Lone Ranger that my parents had to worry about.

 

[Hazelelponi]

I was a kid pre-Internet, pre-cable, even pre-color.

There wasn't much about Captain Kangaroo, King Kong, and the Lone Ranger that my parents had to worry about.

I remember Captain Kangaroo... That was an awesome show back when I was a kid!

 

[Robban]

I don't know the situation, but were your parents somewhat afraid of you being jews meeting others? I assume you grew up in Sweden, which I imagine jews are not all too common?

There are Jews here but either they do not know or it has been for some reason hushed over.

There was a period in Malmö when Jews could not live there, there was a large influx people from ME,

they made life difficult for them.

The entrance to the building where I live someone had

painted, "Juden" on the door, also in our basement storerooms.

But I wrote it off as some mix up minds.

 

[RDKirk]

But my parents were vary strict about me not going over to the white part of town. We lived on the "borderline," so that was right across the street. The city park extended on both sides, so there was a playground for us and a playground for them, a swimming pool for us and a swimming pool for them.

I grew up in the shadow of the Emmett Till murder, so that was something my parents were very strict about.

 

[Paidiske]

My parents were strict to the point of abusive, but not really in a Christian-culture-wars kind of way. (My parents were very lapsed Catholics). It was more about obedience, attitude, hard work, and so on. If I came home having got 98% on a maths test, the talk would be all about the 2% I had failed, that kind of thing. (I didn't know my grandparents).

Recently my mother said to me, "I have two children. One is a priest, and one is in prison. Was there no middle ground?" I didn't have the words to tell her that the way she parented, no, there probably really was no healthy middle ground.

 

[Robban]

My parents were strict to the point of abusive, but not really in a Christian-culture-wars kind of way. (My parents were very lapsed Catholics). It was more about obedience, attitude, hard work, and so on. If I came home having got 98% on a maths test, the talk would be all about the 2% I had failed, that kind of thing. (I didn't know my grandparents).

Recently my mother said to me, "I have two children. One is a priest, and one is in prison. Was there no middle ground?" I didn't have the words to tell her that the way she parented, no, there probably really was no healthy middle ground.

How unfortunate, too often people make a big number

of one wrong answer, how about all the other answers

you got right?

 

[RDKirk]

How unfortunate, too often people make a big number

of one wrong answer, how about all the other answers

you got right?

"One 'aw, shucks' wipes out a thousand attaboys," as a former commander once commiserated with me after our exemplary unit suffered an "aw, shucks."

 

[Hazelelponi]

My parents were strict to the point of abusive, but not really in a Christian-culture-wars kind of way. (My parents were very lapsed Catholics). It was more about obedience, attitude, hard work, and so on. If I came home having got 98% on a maths test, the talk would be all about the 2% I had failed, that kind of thing. (I didn't know my grandparents).

Recently my mother said to me, "I have two children. One is a priest, and one is in prison. Was there no middle ground?" I didn't have the words to tell her that the way she parented, no, there probably really was no healthy middle ground.

I used to get straight A's in school. I don't think I ever missed questions on tests and always had a perfect GPA.

My sister struggled in school, a C for her was close to her very best and took a lot of time and study to get.

Whenever it was report card day my mom would look at mine say okay and set it aside to sign and return. That was all... She never once told me she was proud of me.

On the other hand, when my sister would hand over her report card my mother had no end of praise for how well my sister had done...

I always wanted my mother's approval and never felt I had either her approval or her love growing up. The only praise I ever got was from my dad, who always seemed to try and make up for how she treated me

Once as an adult I asked my mom why she always had praise for my sister and never any for me when we showed her our report cards, and she told me that it was because good grades came easy to me, but were hard for my sister.

I guess she thought because it seemed effortless I didn't deserve praise.. lol.

I think parents do their best... But they are apt to make mistakes, and some are better at it than others.

 

[Robban]

"One 'aw, shucks' wipes out a thousand attaboys," as a former commander once commiserated with me after our exemplary unit suffered an "aw, shucks."

Well, children are children, soldiers are soldiers would reckon.