How Old? or Young?

[...butterfly...]

How "young" is to young to get married? Is there really an AGE that is marriagable?

 

[invisiblebabe]

It depends on the context of the given society.

In American society, typically under 18 is too young because one is still considered a child and still financially dependent on one's parents. There are, of course, exceptions, but I am referring to the most typical experience.

I would also argue that developmentally, under 18 would be too young for almost all societies because girls' bodies have not finished maturing yet (including the reproductive system... the prime childbearing years are in one's mid to late twenties), and psychologically they still have much maturation to do. Also, those with an interest in pursuing spiritual and emotional growth typically do better after having a few years away from home, especially when they have had troubled home lives.

I am 21 and getting married on August 10 this year. So, I am young for marrying, but not so young where I do not know and/or am not able to fulfill the seriousness of the commitment or the responsibilities associated with it.

 

[Lizzi4Christ]

Ugh.

It's more about maturity levels. I know a 20 year old who could tell me in 2 minutes that she's engaged and I would be happy for her. I know some 25 year olds who aren't ready at all. Age isn't the only factor to look at.

 

[Sketcher]

I personally believe 20 and up is marraigable, depending on maturity and security.

 

[lady_of_god]

From a personal opinion, I think 20 and up is fine, but it also depends on the maturity of the persons, whether or not they can support themselves financially, and are they spiritually and mentally ready for the challenges that lie ahead.
....I know people in their 30's and older who are very immature, and shouldn't marry intill they get it together.

-Lady.

 

[kiora]

you cannot tell my age but I believe that under 18 is two young. I was almost 19 when we got engaged and I will be 21 when we get married but I have always been very mature for my age.

 

[Ceris]

Depends upon the society both are in &/or maturity of the individuals. Also, different aspects come into play. Say someone's ready maturity-wise for marriage when they are 19, but they're still in college. Finacially and such, I believe they might not be ready for marriage quite yet because they're still in school. For instance, my parents (at the behest of my mom) waited untill they got their bachelor's degree before they got married.

God Bless,
Ceris

 

[Ave Maria]

I don't think there is a set age. Just like in relationships. I don't see any age limit on relationships. As long as they're not a minor I'll consider a relationship with them.

 

[...butterfly...]

Thanks for your input. My bf is 17 and I 19. We've been together for almost 2.5 years now and we want to get married. We probably wont get married until we're at least 20.

 

[peanutbutter12]

Hmm, it's a hard question. Like the above state, it's all in how mature the people are when they get involved in such. My parents were 18 when they married and to this day they are still very happily married. A lot of it also comes down to the whole "knowing true love" thing. A lot of people have this emotional love instead of something that is Godly and unconditional. Yet they mistake fake love for true love because of the deciet our culture bestows upon us to believe, especially when it comes to this.

On the other end of this, people who are thinking of mariage should also be stable in their maturity and their finances. Men, I'm talking to you. The Bible says it's a mans duty to be the head of his house. If you can't be a man and pay the bills, you need to be stepping back for a bit before you tie the knot. If you can't afford to take care of yourself, you can't afford to take care of the one you love either. I'm not saying you can't love someone if you don't have money, but if you can't afford to properly take care of the person you love, what kind of love does that show that you were too selfish in your decision to wait till you were able to take care of her properly? The female shouldn't have to work in order to complete bill payments, that's your duty as a man and IF she has a job, it should be for extra income for things other than that which needs to be paid monthly...

CJ

 

[lilangel04_86]

I'm 19 and have been dating a guy for a year and a half. We would like to get married, but his family thinks we're not ready. We both come from backgrounds where we had to grow up sooner, so we both know what to expect in life. Should we wait like they tell us, or should we continue with our plans?

 

[JeffMusic2]

Everyone has different opinions, mine might sound offensive, but it is how I feel

I think it is not a wise choice to get married without having graduated from college and having a job. I'd say around age 23 is the proper age to get married. I see so many 19, 20 year olds getting engaged and it makes me glad that I am giving myself that space and freedom of getting an education first before having to settle down like that. I believe education comes first. If you put marriage first, then you're cutting yourself short. I don't want to be a 20 year old husband . But everyone is different and like I said, this is just my opinion. Over half of the Christian marriages today fail and it's an unfortunate thing. So it must mean many young couples are marrying for the wrong reasons (I'm sure we all have an idea of what that reason is). So if half of all Christian marriages are failing, what does that say? Are us Christians all bad people and not right for each other? Or are they just getting married at the wrong time? I'd pick the latter. Wait until 23, at the earliest is my advice.

Self-control is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. Self-control will stop you from making an unwise choice too fast.

 

[peanutbutter12]

I'm 19 and have been dating a guy for a year and a half. We would like to get married, but his family thinks we're not ready. We both come from backgrounds where we had to grow up sooner, so we both know what to expect in life. Should we wait like they tell us, or should we continue with our plans?

You need to respect the wishes of the parents. I'm sure they have their reasons; maybe he's not financially stable enough to take care of you, maybe he has some more growing up to do. Whatever the case is, you should never come in between him and his family, nor he come between yours. That's asking for trouble.

CJ

 

[pegatha]

I'm 19 and have been dating a guy for a year and a half. We would like to get married, but his family thinks we're not ready. We both come from backgrounds where we had to grow up sooner, so we both know what to expect in life. Should we wait like they tell us, or should we continue with our plans?

IMO 19 is still pretty young. Not that it's impossible to start a healthy marriage at that age, but the odds aren't too good, even for Christians. There's only so much growing up anyone can do in nineteen years. What's wrong with waiting? What genuine hardships or disadvantages would there be if you waited?

 

[...butterfly...]

I dont know, this decision is going to take prayer, prayer and a little more prayer. I'm in the same situation.

 

[Alone But Surrounded]

i love this question i get this quetion all the time! it think like many said maturity is big! but if you in love and have prayied about it then after you graduate from high school then go for it!

 

[chanis]

Ugh.

It's more about maturity levels. I know a 20 year old who could tell me in 2 minutes that she's engaged and I would be happy for her. I know some 25 year olds who aren't ready at all. Age isn't the only factor to look at.

I agree I'm 25 and I don't think I'm ready for marriage, besides the fact I don't want to getmarried jus yet...

 

[JeffMusic2]

For the girl that says that her and the boyfriend came from backgrounds where they had to grow up sooner...Why does that mean you have to continue down that path now? If you're 19...be a 19 year old. You can go to college, get an education, grow spiritually, etc. If you're using the mentality of "Well I had to grow up sooner, so I should get married now", you'll be 19 going on 30. Not a wise choice.

However, if you don't plan to go to college, then it's a different story. If you try to go to college when you're married, I figure it would be difficult.

Also, if anyone can answer this question, it has to do with this thread: What are the reasons for Christian couples marrying this young? (19, 20 years old) I'd like some clear answers on this, I haven't seen any yet.

 

[peanutbutter12]

My fiance' is 19 and we are getting married in October. The main reason behind our decision is that every day that goes by is a day we aren't living our lives together and a day we will never be able to get back. It's kind of a waste in our eyes because we know with everything we are that we are meant to be together. Even more difficult because we don't live within driving distance to just have the availability to say "Lets go out", "Ok, I'll be right over".

On the other side of this, there are a few things:

A: I will be able to take care of her. I would not marry her if I wasn't 110% sure I could financially support her. Otherwise it would be a selfish decision. But I am also "retiring" in a few months so I know I will be secure in the money issue, plus I'll get to spend my time with my wife instead of spending 8+ hours a day at work.

B: Her parents are all for it. They are great and have been nothing but supportive since we informed them of our decision. However, it's very important to ask the father first before you give your girl the ring. They will respect you so much more by doing so.

C: We know this is what God has for us. God wants us to be happy but he also wants us to be smart in our decision making which is why the first 2 stipulations exist.

CJ

 

[halifaxhoney]

It really depends on where you are at. I think that 20 is an acceptable age to get married.