how old is too old?

[California Dreamin']

I know there are going to be varying answers on here but just personally answer. How old do you think is too old or too young to be with someone? A guy wrote me and honestly he is great but I'm 25 and he's 43.

 

[Blank123]

thats up to you to decide. I tend to be weary of such huge age differences myself because often times both people are in very different stages of life and any relationship is likely doomed from the beginning (not always, but often.) or the much older person is very likely extremely immature for his/her age which is why they connect better with much younger people - which means it'll work great for awhile until the younger partner matures and outgrows the older one. (again: not always, but often.)

I've also seen too many cases with older guys preying on much younger girls that always leaves me cringing at the idea. So there are things to consider about dating someone so much older.

for me - if you're old enough to be my father.... keep walking.

 

[California Dreamin']

My last boyfriend was 32, and I thought it was going to be great! He ended up being really mean and controlling. I'm at the point where I am ready to have a family and really want to have kids. I've met guys who are 20 and they say they want all that too and disappear.

 

[Niels]

For me? I'd consider dating 10 years or so younger, up to maybe a few years older. For others, I don't care as long as they're both adults. Either they're compatible, or they're not.

 

[California Dreamin']

The weirdest part of this whole 43 year old thing, my mum used to babysit him!

 

[Saucy]

I personally wouldn't do it because a lot of older men do prey on younger women. I would be super, extra careful. He may have a lot more to offer you and I wouldn't go for it. It's best to meet someone closer to you in age. There are a lot of guys your age and few years older than you who are ready. I'm 27 and still have a few things to do to be "ready" but I think I'm super close to settling and I'm ready to meet that person. The best part, to me, is growing together, not skipping ahead and finding someone MUCH older. You're skipping a lot of steps of growth.

 

[HeKnowsMyName]

Think about when you get my age. He'll be 57. That's just too much for me. I think 5-10 years older than me is my tops. 3 years younger is my tops.

 

[Blank123]

I do have a question, and maybe this is something more for you to think over so don't feel obligated to answer.

But you said in your other thread that you just want to be single for awhile (and after such a toxic relationship, i think thats wise. You need time to heal). so why are you considering dating this guy?

 

[MehTeh]

Spend time with him to see what he's really like. I mean a considerable amount of time. Then you'll see if the age difference is an issue for you or not.

 

[PinkSweetart]

I think it would depend on the maturity levels. My uncle is 10 years older than my aunt and they seem to be a happy couple. But I know that isn't always the case.

For me, right now I probably wouldn't be with anyone much older than me because I know I'm not mature enough. I'm still growing up... I still feel like I barely left my teens despite almost being 21. I'm not ready to settle down or have kids and I know that if I were with someone much older, that would most likely be a desire for them. That's not always the case either, but I know it was true for my sister and I know many others who would like to be married and have kids by 26.

So sticking to my own age group would probably be best unless I knew the person well enough, and knew exactly who I am as a person.

 

[Hadassah_]

Maturity level definitely matters. I'm kind of immature for my age and find myself attracted to men younger than me. Lately I have met someone my age and it's kind of refreshing...like I've been sitting at the kids table for so long and finally graduated to the adult table.

I was married to someone 11 years older and one reason it didn't work was because he was VERY set in his ways and expected me to mold to that thinking.

I do have an aunt who is 10 years older than her husband and they've been together forever so it can work.

 

[HeKnowsMyName]

Yay! Katy graduated to the adult table! Bout time!

 

[Hadassah_]

Right??? Now I just have to make sure I don't get demoted back to the kids table!

 

[MehTeh]

Right??? Now I just have to make sure I don't get demoted back to the kids table!

It's easy. Don't pick your nose AND eat it. Pretty much any other childish behaviour is still allowed.

 

[HeKnowsMyName]

^ Hahaha! That gives me visuals I'd rather not have.

 

[Hadassah_]

Whew! I was worried when I burped...then Great Aunt Hilda joined in and started a burping contest!

 

[Sieben]

I burp at peoples insolence

 

[Touma]

I will not go for anyone less than 20/21 or more than early 30s..

I find older women a bit more exciting. -_-

 

[Squeakers]

My limit is 10 years older/1 year younger.

 

[GodsDaughter1981]

My limit is 7/8 years older (although it depends on the guy) but no younger. I have a personal hangup about dating a guy younger than me - what's really silly is that I don't even know why it bothers me.