how often is normal?

[lovegodsgrace]

I know married couples who have it 3 times a week and twice a day.

What is too much, and what is not enough?

 

[GraceDaily]

I'm not married but I do know that there is no such thing as normal. You just have to find the right balance for yourselves as a couple.

 

[Johnnz]

There is a great deal of variation. Couples with a good relationship will develop their own pattern.

John
NZ

 

[k450ofu3k-gh-5ipe]

There's a pretty large variation. That being said, the average is widely said to be about 2-3 times a week. I would personally say that anything between twice a day and once a month is in "normal" ranges which is of course dependent on the particular couple's desires.

 

[pappastratos]

whatever you and your spouse want and need. If you want to keep your spouse thoughts and eyes at home, fulfill their needs regardless of how many times others do "it"

 

[citizenthom]

"Not enough" is when one spouse or both are physically or emotionally dissatisfied, AT ALL.

"Too much" is when one spouse or both is in physical pain...and that's about it.

"Normal" is irrelevant.

 

[iambren]

Our marriage counselor said that 2X/week is a reasonable minimum.

 

[JaneFW]

I know married couples who have it 3 times a week and twice a day.

What is too much, and what is not enough?

It's whatever balance the two people find that work for them. Twice a day would be too much for me, but three times a week sounds fine. My husband, uh, differs and prefers it maybe once a month. That's what you need to watch out for - make sure that you and your spouse are on the same page before marriage, and in agreement. Nobody outside of the marriage should dictate how many times is okay for you and your spouse.

 

[Puptart]

Normal for us is doing it whenever we both want it.. not just one of us, but both of us. We don't count, we don't keep track, I don't have any facts or statistics on how many times a week, month, or year. We just do it when we both want to. It seems simple to me in that regard. I think if you're with the right person, it will be a very easy thing to figure out as it will be entirely natural.

 

[gracefulone1980]

I would say that normal is whatever works for each couple. Some weeks could be more, some less and some somewhere in between. I know some couples who schedule it. For my husband and I, it is totally random and it happens when it happens.

 

[SearchingStudent]

I know married couples who have it 3 times a week and twice a day.

What is too much, and what is not enough?

"normal" is just a setting on the dryer. Desire waxes and wanes. Over the last 14 years, we've gone from every day to once a month to nothing for a few months (my husband was ill) to a couple of times a week...

"too much" and "not enough" are very personal and individual to each couple. That's something that you and your future spouse would have to discuss. And, remember, it seems the older you get the less often things happen.

 

[gods prophetess]

i think 2 x a week for any couple is just fine praying for you and everone else be encouraged and keep the faith yours in christ prophetess cherrie

 

[steve_bakr]

I know married couples who have it 3 times a week and twice a day.

What is too much, and what is not enough?

I would say 2x a week to once a month, allowing for changes and fluctuations in sexual desire, athough it could be more for recently married couples. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing and 2x or even 1x a day falls into that category. Some days you'll just want to come home, kick back, and watch a movie or read a book without being concerned about sex.

 

[LinkH]

I would say 2x a week to once a month, allowing for changes and fluctuations in sexual desire, athough it could be more for recently married couples.

I suppose it depends on age, but once a month sounds like starvation to me. Twice a week doesn't sound too great either.

Here is my advice to newly weds:
Set the frequency by what either spouse needs, whichever one needs it the most, in order not to be edgy, cranky, and open to temptation. If both people are happy with once a month or twice a week, fine, but if not, don't reject a spouse based on the posts of someone on a forum who want less and need than your spouse.

I understand it's not all that unusual for a young man in his teens or twenties to crave sex every day or every other day. They say a woman's sex drive peeks in her 30's. I really don't know if that is true. Maybe it's a psychology thing of being comfortable with sex, but I don't think physically that is necessarily true. If you get married when you are young, wear yourself out to make your spouse happy and enjoy your spouse. Stretch that Honeymoon out for a long time. Sex may lead to the first child, which can reduce the frequency anyway. When you get old, you can remember the good old days when you first got married. You can spend some time fasting food and sex and then come together again. But if you aren't fasting sex with your spouse, don't fast sex with your spouse.

A young couple in their '20's with no children can have lots of sex and don't need to feel limited by the 2x a week survey results which include couples with kids and grandma's and grandpa's struggling to make sex a physical possibility. When babies are born, they can have their own way of creating obstacles to regular sex.

 

[citizenthom]

I suppose it depends on age, but once a month sounds like starvation to me. Twice a week doesn't sound too great either.

Indeed. I've never known a healthy married couple that has sex less than bi-weekly, at any age. And at my own age (mid- to late-20s), once-a-month sex is usually a big stinking red flag.

 

[LinkH]

Indeed. I've never known a healthy married couple that has sex less than bi-weekly, at any age. And at my own age (mid- to late-20s), once-a-month sex is usually a big stinking red flag.

Bi-weekly can either mean twice a week or about twice a month. I hope it's the former for you, rather than the latter. Isn't the average two or three times a week? I would imagine that would include couples with marital problems, senior citizens, women recovering from giving birth, and folks with pelvic injuries from car accidents all averaged in that figure.

 

[SearchingStudent]

Indeed. I've never known a healthy married couple that has sex less than bi-weekly, at any age. And at my own age (mid- to late-20s), once-a-month sex is usually a big stinking red flag.

Ahh...but when you're in your late 40's and your partner has an illness that can put a damper on things, sometimes you're thankful that he felt good enough to "get busy" once that month.

Sex in and of itself is not the end all and be all of a relationship. Intimacy takes many forms and that particular physical expression is just one of them. Like I said earlier...enough is whatever the couple decides is enough. I don't care what my neighbors are doing, I don't care what my peers are doing. All I care about is what my husband and I are doing. If that satisfies both of us then it's enough for us.

 

[JRSut1000]

"Not enough" is when one spouse or both are physically or emotionally dissatisfied, AT ALL.

"Too much" is when one spouse or both is in physical pain...and that's about it.

"Normal" is irrelevant.

I like this answer.

 

[JRSut1000]

Like everyone else, I dont there is a 'right' answer, just what's right for BOTH spouses. I used to have a higher drive than my husband and now he's passed me up, lol. Life causes fluctuations in how often each spouse 'wants' it for various reasons including hormones or health concerns or the obvious - marital satisfaction. But when both man and wife are living and loving each other, there will be a happy balance taht belongs to them.

 

[JaneFW]

Ahh...but when you're in your late 40's and your partner has an illness that can put a damper on things, sometimes you're thankful that he felt good enough to "get busy" once that month.

Sex in and of itself is not the end all and be all of a relationship. Intimacy takes many forms and that particular physical expression is just one of them. Like I said earlier...enough is whatever the couple decides is enough. I don't care what my neighbors are doing, I don't care what my peers are doing. All I care about is what my husband and I are doing. If that satisfies both of us then it's enough for us.

And that's how it should be!