How often do you fight?

[alwaysyoung]

How often do you and your spouse fight? This includes ANY conflicts:
not getting along,
full out fights,
or useless arguements.

(If I didn't give enough choices, you can post more details be more exact...sorry.)

Squatpuke, I had to submit another poll. I just can't stay away from them.

 

[5stringJeff]

Our fights are pretty tame. They are usually just discussions about things we don't agree about, in calm voices. In the end, we reach solutions that we can both accept.

 

[Amélie Unbound]

A few times a year, I guess. We've been married for 15 months and have had 3 real arguments. All 3 were about his mom. We're extremely compatible, and if it weren't for the things his mom says to me, we would never argue at all. When we do argue, it's not serious. We fight fair and are able to get over it quickly.

 

[Athene]

couple of times a month, but they're not really fights as in we slighly raise our voices, we don't shout and scream at each other, it's all my husbands fault of course

 

[Mrs. Enigma]

We do not argue or fight. If I am having exceptionally bad PMS, than I may talk back or say I am upset. But he does not fight with me about it. He would just pet my head or send me to bed cuz he knows it is PMS, but I get sent to bed like once a year or less.
So, I guess I am not the one to answer this very interestingly.
We do not have "long discussions" on issues either.

 

[LiberatedChick]

Almost never.

 

[llghoney]

Couple of times a month

 

[Singin4Him]

We don't fight often at all, we've learned to talk about your disagreements in calm normal tone of voice, if we feel a silly petty argument coming on either one or both of us will make a joke or just find humor in the situation and then it stops right away.

We did fight a great deal when we first got married during that "adjustment period". It was hard for me as an independent women to be a submissive women overnight and my husband had learned some horrible argument habits from his family but we got over all that lol.

I know a couple who believed before they got married that fighting was unhealthy and they claimed they never had and never would fight over anything, that is not only unrealistic but unhealthy. There's nothing wrong with a good disagreement every now and then but a big drag out argument once a month might not be real healthy for a marriage. It's ok to disagree though, you can't and won't always agree on everything under the sun.

 

[Beth1231]

We might slightly raise our voices once or twice a month. But we quickly realize we are being irrational and simmer down and discuss it calmly (or take a quick break to revalulate the situation). We both fight fair most of the time (every once in a while, I make an unfair comment in the heat of the moment).

ETA: We do the same thing as Singin4him...diffuse the potential spat with humor

 

[agyevesam]

I voted a couple times a month. Normally about the business and a BIG one when I have PMS. Every month.....poor hubby!!

 

[Amélie Unbound]

Hmmm.... people have been mentioning raised voices. Maybe I should have mentioned that the 3 times my husband and I have argued, we did not raise our voices. All 3 times, we were very calmly discussing how we disagreed with each other. If raised voices is part of what "fighting" is, I should have said we never fight.

 

[ChristianCowgirl77]

Any argument we have about his mother becomes irrational cause he doesn't listen to my side (or he takes her side). It doesn't happen often, but it's annoying when it does (a few times a month or less).

 

[christalee4]

Almost never. The only few times we got into an argument was over our kids and stepkids.

I think couples fight over money issues, or family issues (your family/my family type of thing). Anything else is small potatoes.

 

[MoodyBlue]

Real fights, almost never. Disagreements, irritations, bad moods, stress-induced conflicts are fairly common but pretty mild and easily overcome.

 

[heartnsoul]

We rarely fight now. In the earlier years of our marriage, we fought more, but after 12+ years now, we have learned to communicate constructively and resolve issues quickly.

It takes "two" to tango, so to speak. I have made the conscious decision years ago to end the dance of arguments and refuse to argue. Arguments can become elevated and destructive. So I choose to wait for a calmer moment to discuss and resolve matters. I apply the same principles and philosophy here on this forum. I avoid any heated, debatable discussions because usually I don't see the value in arguing or debating. Wisdom is carefully choosing the battles that are worth fighting for. Wisdom also means sometimes choosing peace rather than being right...because even if you are right, let TIME reveal that. Because it's been proven time and time again that God does humble those who need humbling. I've learned there are some things you cannot beat over the head of people. People all need to learn at their own pace and sometimes lessons are learned the hard way. So we just need to realize this and give others the freedom and room to grow/mature.

 

[ChristyLover]

We hardly ever fight or argue. When we do it's usually over sex, not all the time though.

 

[isawitonline]

I rarely fight with my wife.

We argue on occasion but we typically discuss our issues through without fighting.

Many times we assign a number to our feelings and then we iron our problems out from there.

 

[New Creation]

We've been together three years now and fought quite a bit at the beginning. We went for individual counselling and pre-marital counselling and that helped a lot.
As time goes by we fight less and less but every four or five months we have an argument complete with swear words and hot heads.

Praise God that we have both become better at apologizing and being humble. It makes all the difference.

 

[Oblivious]

I honestly can't remember the last time we've had a fight. I voted close to never.

 

[InTheFlame]

Probably once a fortnight we'll speak irritably or snap because we misunderstood what the other person was saying... generally helped along by tiredness. I try to be a lot more careful with what I say when I know I'm tired and/or grouchy.