I'm very sorry to hear about your circumstances, I've known very nice people who have suffered under those same circustances; although, not exactly the same; however, they were ...
It took my friends years to overcome these things, and it still sits in their minds as something which holds them back from pushing forward in life; it was not b'cause they were bad people, or b'cause the lacked any particular feature; instead, I believe that when such circumstances are happening in our world around us, that it happens to those who are capable of becoming a greater voice for those who have not heard the spirit of God channel their fears into a life changing anecdote; it has been my experience that with great suffering, we always have great joy ahead of us
Matthew 5:10-12
10Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. 12Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.
It goes on to say that we cannot lose the savour of the righteousness we are gifted from God, but please don't make this to be a situation whereby you feel that God is punishing you for not attending church as often as you did in the past; if that were true, many of the world would suffer under the crushing blows of their own sins... for it is God that said:
Acts 7:48-50
48Howbeit the most High dwelleth not in temples made with hands; as saith the prophet,
49Heaven is my throne, and earth is my footstool: what house will ye build me? saith the Lord: or what is the place of my rest? 50Hath not my hand made all these things?
God never gives us more than we can bare, you can always trust in that; he always gives us a new way out.
May the hand of God guide you to your path, may He flow upon you and create beauty in the places of ashes; blessed are a broken and contrite spirit...
Grace and peace be upon you.
