How much is enough?

[texannurse]

Just a question. I've been remembering (a lot) a situation that occured when I was 10 - being molested by my sister's friend (he was in his late 20s) and a later incidence of sexual assault (I was 19, he was in his 40s). I have tried to talk about it a couple of times, but I have been told it was "not a big deal" and that "I seemed ok" so nothing was ever done. (my parents knew about the molesting.) Is that really not a big deal? It was only once, but I feel like it has hung over my head for 20 years. I don't want to make it a bigger deal than it is. How often or how severe does it have to be to be real?

 

[uniquetadpole]

in my opinion if it is still haunting you then you haven't healed from it. It is a big deal... you were 10 and he should have known better. I was ten too... and it wasn't a "big deal" for a long time with me... but I was traumatized about it to a point of not remembering it still... I am currently working through alot of those kinds of hurts... and my therapists explain to me that trauma is relative to the person it happened to... we are each different and we can each handle a different amoount of things... for some a kiss or a hug can be a traumatic in a certain circumstance... while others see it as something they would have been able to handle easily... I would suggest seeing a professional...to help you sort it out... it can help you to move on.

 

[wheel]

It does matter what you went through even once is a big deal. Find someone to chat with, the pain will get less, from someone who cares

 

[Akathist]

Yes, even once is a big deal. You were invaded. You were too young and not ready. I hope that you do some research and maybe even spend some time in a real life support group or in a one on one counseling to learn more about how to cope.

 

[Jcsogls]

Just a question. I've been remembering (a lot) a situation that occured when I was 10 - being molested by my sister's friend (he was in his late 20s) and a later incidence of sexual assault (I was 19, he was in his 40s). I have tried to talk about it a couple of times, but I have been told it was "not a big deal" and that "I seemed ok" so nothing was ever done. (my parents knew about the molesting.) Is that really not a big deal? It was only once, but I feel like it has hung over my head for 20 years. I don't want to make it a bigger deal than it is. How often or how severe does it have to be to be real?

Yes it is a very Big Deal! Once is too many times. When a violation has occured of your body and mind once is too much. I was molested once by my cousin while she was babysitting me and it has effected me up to this day.