how many times a day do you hear from your SO

[waxlion10]

How is he supposed to know you want more communication if you don't tell him? He may do it because he WANTS to make you happy and let you know he cares about you... it's not like you're going to FORCE him to talk to you or whine about it, right?

It depends upon how you present the issue. Timing and delivery are important.

We have to learn to wander outside our comfort zones. That's part of being in a relationship. Pushing each other to grow and sacrifice because we care about someone else.

 

[Highland Watchman]

My fiancee and I talk mainly over MSN because we are long distance. It's almost every day when we talk, and she occasionally phones me (upon prompting through MSN - she has a good long distance plan; I live in a seminary dormitory). We have also seen each other every few months or so, usually I would hop on a plane to go see her every few months.

When we were closer to each other geographically (both in Korea, maybe 2 hours bus ride apart), we would text and call each other constantly and visit 1-2 times per week, sometimes more. now that we are back in Canada, that isn't really the case. Oh well - only a few more weeks and that won't be the case anymore. Then we will finally be married and I can see her all the time.

As to the topics of conversation, they vary from time to time. There are times when our conversations turn very romantic, and others when they are about more serious matters.

 

[Fishyygirl]

Hmmm, Im split cause I like to hear from him a lot, but don't want to be needy, so I don't call or text him all day. I do expect a call at lunch though at most, or when he will be home late.

I really am clingly, but I know sometimes it's too much. It's my own problem.

 

[SparkyMaddie]

It varies on our school time/classes.work-6 times?

 

[GrumpGrump]

Hello.


So yeas thats the Question how many times a day do you hear from your SO? like from texting,phone calls................just curious.
And my other question is does being affectionate/romance matter in your relationship?

if this sounds strange im just wondering whats important for a christian couple....Im dating someone and he isnt to affectionate BUT he is a good christian...we only been together for a month tho so its not long time but anywho dosent matter just wondering how a christian relationship should be like, understand?

People communicate love and affection in very different ways, and the way that he is trying to communicate affection to you may not be the way that you are accustomed to understanding affection. So he might be sending the romance signals, but you're not receiving them. For example, if I think of "romance" as "when my boyfriend says he loves me and expresses commitment to me," but my boyfriend communicates "romance" differently (if he does favors for me like washing my car or is physically affectionate), I may not see that he IS communicating romance, just in a different way. [This is the basic premise behind Gary Chapman's book, "Five Languages of Love," where he theorizes that people generally communicate affection in one (or more) of 5 ways: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. The key to effectively communicating romance to your partner is being attuned to how THEY communicate romance to you and also trying to communicate romance to them in their own language. I haven't actually read this book (a close friend explained it to me), but the guiding principles seem very plausible and sensible.]

So before you wonder why he's not affectionate, make sure he's not simply expressing affection in a different way. Does he make extra time to talk to you later, does he hold your hand when he's with you, does he do little favors for you, etc.? I think men are socially groomed to express affection more pragmatically, like by doing acts of service or being physically affectionate (rather than by flowery love letters or useless shiny gifts, as women are socially groomed to understand affection). Different genders are trained to understand romance quite differently, which results in a communication mismatch that can be troublesome, I think. Both (or all 5) ways are equally legitimate, but sometimes we must calibrate ourselves appropriately to receive the affectionate signals being sent.

I'm not arguing that that's what's going on in your case, it's just something to think about.

 

[tokuku]

Been with my girlfriend 2 years (i know 2 years is a long time to be going out but it's complicated) We txt constantly. We never run out of things to say

 

[Luther073082]

Well now that we are married I of course talk to her everyday as we live together.

Prior to this when we where dating and engaged we lived about a thousand miles apart. But we still talked every day.

I really don't see how someone could be in a serious relationship without talking at least once a day. But thats just me.

 

[Keturah Nikole]

"Originally Posted by FantasyFlower
Hello.


So yeas thats the Question how many times a day do you hear from your SO? like from texting,phone calls................just curious.
And my other question is does being affectionate/romance matter in your relationship?"

Ty and I try to talk to each other in some way at least once a day. He's a military man, and he's been stationed on a base that is 43 hours away from my hometown, 46 from his.(We met in college.) Being that he is a member of the US military, and I have a job in the fast food business, our schedules don't always coincide, so we don't get to talk as often as we necessarily want to. We will send short texts saying that we miss/love the other, or play phone tag. It's really sweet, to me, to listen to my voicemail and hear him sound slightly bummed that he wasn't able to talk to me right then. It just reassures me that he truly does love/miss me, and that he's not just saying those things, because I can hear it in his voice. Another thing we like to do is if we're on the phone and know that we both are able to get on our computers, I'll ask him to get on Skype(or vice versa) and then we can see each other in real time even though we're 3 time zones apart.
As for affection/romance, other than saying 'I love you', a few hugs, falling asleep with my head on his shoulder on a car ride with some friends and at the movies, and holding hands, we haven't gotten really affectionate. He has been really sweet though. I was really really sick when we were in college together and ended up going to the hospital. He sent out an emergency request for all of his friends to pray for me, and said that he really wished he could do something to take my pain and sickness away.(I found that just super sweet.) Then in April of this year, when he was between stationings, he made a surprise visit to my college and brought me a rose. It was SOOOOOO beautiful, and it was great to see him and spend those 2 days with him. I had no idea he was being transferred at that time, I thought he had another 2-3 weeks where he had been stationed the previous 4 months.
I think though that even if he didn't do things like surprise me by showing up and with a rose at that, I would still love him and that I'd still be happy in our relationship. So, romance doesn't really matter too much to me. Affection is nice, at least the small bits of affection that we show toward each other.