How many "real" friends do you have?

[memoriesbymichelle]

How many "real" friends do you have?

I don't have many and some of my closest friends live in different states (from me and from each other). It's funny because even my 2 "closest" friends, IMO, probably would hardly notice if I dropped off the face of the earth. One has cancer, so of course, that comsumes her life and thoughts. The other one moved 1 1/2 hours away, and I rarely see her, and she doesn't call or text. Funny thing if I were to say that to her, she would make it MY fault somehow.

So other friends I have are in my Bible study. Only 2 of them are single like me, the others are 3 married couples. But I haven't known them all that long, so we aren't THAT close.

I guess my point is, that it seems the older you get the less friends you have? I have tried joining different groups to enlarge my friend circle, but I keep getting these friends that are consumed with themselves and really not interested in me but I really don't mean that in a bad way. They just seem oblivious to anything outside their circle, so it's not intentional if that makes any sense.

So let's see....I have 11 female friends and only 2 that I can confide in and they both live out of state. What about you? Thoughts?

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

cool! 40 views and NO replies. Another dead thread for me . You guys rock!!! So either you all have millions of friends or none. That's my best guestimate

 

[mjmcmillan]

It varies. Most of my friends these days are at church, in the business I'm alone much of the time, and I lost track of some friends I used to have because the club I belonged to meets on Sunday, same time as church.

 

[Standing Firm]

I have 4 really close friends and about 3 other friends from church. Only 1 friend lives near me and I have to travel an hour and a half on Sundays to worship so my church family is a distance. Must be the season to be feeling lonely, I have been too. In my old rented farm house with my cat. Divorced about 7 yrs ago and my grown up boys live in another state. Sending prayers for you Michelle that you will be surrounded by loving and understading friends. Lisa

 

[scotty81]

I wouldn't count any more than just casual acquaintances, if I was in some kind of problem that I needed help for I'd be relying on my parents.

seems after leaving school everyone eventually drifts off into their own lives as times passes. For most people i'd say their partner becomes their best friend, for those of us who are single, well.....

 

[dayhiker]

hey, Michelle ... you may have to stop looking at that view number. lol

I views by didn't have time to reply.

I have quite a few friends, but almost all of them are friends that wouldn't track me down if I was to stop going where they are. The men's group I got to has 5 guys, they would be the most concern.

My parents and 4 sisters would start to wonder what's up in a maybe 3 weeks or so of no contact.

I've got a couple lady friends from at the dances I go to.

Then there are the friends on the web .. mostly in this room. Don' know that there is any any way anyone here could track me down unless one really knew how to mine the web for info. Dayhiker has been my handle on the web for 25 yrs, so that would work I think.

But I've moved like 18 times in my life, often to a place I knew no one else. So that really works against long term friends.

 

[Living in the Light]

I think there is a lot of truth to the adage that "you are lucky if you can count the number of real friends in your life on one hand." In my case, I am counting 4-5 real friends. I do agree that the older I get it seems like the harder it is to make new friends, but I never stop reaching out to others.

 

[dayhiker]

I think that is one of the keys, to keep raching out and then be a friend to those we meet.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I think there is a lot of truth to the adage that "you are lucky if you can count the number of real friends in your life on one hand." In my case, I am counting 4-5 real friends. I do agree that the older I get it seems like the harder it is to make new friends, but I never stop reaching out to others.

I do think you are right about this! I also think friends come into your life sometimes for a lifetime and sometimes only for a season.

 

[dayhiker]

I figure ever person I get to talk with for an hour or more adds something to my life. I pray I add something to their life a well.

 

[Living in the Light]

I figure ever person I get to talk with for an hour or more adds something to my life. I pray I add something to their life a well.

This is pretty much how I view bringing new people into my life. Maybe we can mutually share something good with one another. It's too bad that so many stay too much in their cliques or comfort zones or simply don't pay any attention to anyone else. Their smart phones seen to have precedence these days. Too bad for lost opportunities.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

This is pretty much how I view bringing new people into my life. Maybe we can mutually share something good with one another. It's too bad that so many stay too much in their cliques or comfort zones or simply don't pay any attention to anyone else. Their smart phones seen to have precedence these days. Too bad for lost opportunities.

I heard that! That's why sometimes I hate going to functions like 'singles' at the church because those that go all the time always sit together and not that, that in and of itself is bad, but when I go, I usually sit at an empty table. Last time no one sat by me until the start when there was really no where else to sit and the people that sat by me didn't even go to our church (but they were very nice). I'm not afraid to talk to people but I'm not overbearing either and I do like to people watch. But if everyone always stays in their own clicks, they can never find out if anyone else might be a good friend outside their inner circle. Not to mention the whole phone thing.

 

[mjmcmillan]

MbM, going back to the opening post and the one right after it, I think I could be close to challenging you for the number of people who read without responding. I started a thread this morning on another system, on a heavily trafficked board (MyOpera, Debates and Discussions) and so far I have 35 views but no replies. It looks as though it will drop off the edge of the Earth with no replies. So, it happens.

 

[Standing Firm]

I think that is a lovely way of looking at it. Sometimes it is strangers that can have a significant impact on our lives.

 

[Standing Firm]

I was responding to Day Hikers post about giving to people that he meets everyday.Didnt see this page of posts lol

 

[Standing Firm]

To be honest, I dislike singles events. I don't feel comfortable. Maybe that's where I am at for now. I would like to meet someone one day but I am not in a hurry and someone who is desperate for a wife, scares me off. At singles events, to find a spouse seems to be the main agenda. It is nice to just add to friendships right now.

 

[HeKnowsMyName]

One BFF whom I can tell anything to. 3 others that I trust with most everything. 1 that is a good friend but I don't tell my deepest darkest anything to. I have two friends that I met online that I consider close friends. There is another friend that I met online that I thought was a GOOD friend but I got some weird vibes so I just have let that one go. I've got too much problems in RL to worry about someone I will probably never 'really' get to know. Oh, and I have one guy friend that I go out with here and there that I consider a GOOD friend.

I have bunches of friends but only a few that I consider TRUE friends.

 

[pinkfuzzies]

1

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

To be honest, I dislike singles events. I don't feel comfortable. Maybe that's where I am at for now. I would like to meet someone one day but I am not in a hurry and someone who is desperate for a wife, scares me off. At singles events, to find a spouse seems to be the main agenda. It is nice to just add to friendships right now.

For me, the "singles events" are mostly people younger than me and that alone would be OK. But also I think to myself, "what happens when these "singles" do find someone? Do they quit being friends with all these other "singles"? They certainly could not continue to go to "singles" events (I mean after they are married). So why would I want to make friendships in a group that I could not make lifelong friendships with?" I mean I realize you "could" keep some of those friendships, but IDK I guess I don't like the segregation thing and there isn't really an answer.

One BFF whom I can tell anything to. 3 others that I trust with most everything. 1 that is a good friend but I don't tell my deepest darkest anything to. I have two friends that I met online that I consider close friends. There is another friend that I met online that I thought was a GOOD friend but I got some weird vibes so I just have let that one go. I've got too much problems in RL to worry about someone I will probably never 'really' get to know. Oh, and I have one guy friend that I go out with here and there that I consider a GOOD friend.

I have bunches of friends but only a few that I consider TRUE friends.

Yeah, I have one friend that I would tell ANYTHING to, but she lives out of state and we don't talk all that often. I have another good friend that I would tell most things to, and the only reason I wouldn't tell everything to her, is that we differ on some things so I already know what she would say. For example if I mention my debt I have and trusting God, she tells me I should just claim bankruptcy. I tell her, if it gets to that point I will, but I would prefer to pay back my debt if I can. And it's similar in regard to men, and marriage, we just differ. Then I have 2 GF's that are pretty much consumed with their lives understandably (one has cancer and the other just keeps very busy) and they don't see eye to eye with me on all things either so....I used to have a great guy friend, but aside from the fact that he died recently, he previously got a gf that was VERY jealous and so our friendship dwindled because of her jealousy and possibly it not being meant to be as a friendship so....I guess I just WISH I had a close BFF that lived by me, that had similar interests and beliefs but I don't so it is what it is.

 

[blackribbon]

"Real friends"....that requires defining.

I have maybe 2 people who I can be almost completely honest and open with.

I have a few more friends who I am fairly sure could depend on in an emergency...but I just haven't had time to develop the friendships to the level of the other two.

And I have a few potential friends...people who I could develop into deeper friendships if life would just give me more time or would put me in closer proximity.

And then there are a few internet friends who I have never met in person, but still count as friends because they may know me more intimately than some of those that do know me in person.