How many of these can apply to Methodists, too?

[KagomeShuko]

Being that I am a Lutheran with an associate membership in a UMC, I was wondering what these Luther things I am or would be guilty of would also apply to Methodists.

I'm definitely guilty of these ones:

You Know You Might Be A Lutheran If...

during the entire service you hold your hymnal open but never look down at it.

you have your wedding reception in the fellowship hall and feel guilty about not staying to help clean up.

when you were little you actually thought the Reverend's first name was "Pastor."

it takes at least 10 minutes to say good-bye.

you're watching "Star Wars" in the theatre and when they say, "May the force be with you," the theatre replies, "and also with you."

you can say the meal prayer all in one breath.

you laugh out loud while reading this list, and relive your childhood at the same time.

you can actually come up with responses to this.

you actually think the pastor's jokes are funny. I\

requests you hear are preceded or followed by the phrase, "If it's not too much trouble then..."

you know all the words to the first verse of "Silent Night" in German but can't speak a word of it.

at the close of a memo it states "Peace be with you" and you respond "and also with you."

you notice the Kool Aid stock shoots up during the Vacation Bible School season.

you are referred to as the frozen chosen!

you consider lottery tickets a serious investment.

you sing "Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus" while sitting down.

your idea of an affirmation is "This is most certainly true."

you feel guilty about not feeling guilty.

you argue theology with yourself

you can't have a meeting without having a meal.

sharing the peace during the service could possibly take more time than the sermon. (that'd why they moved the sharing of the peace to the end of the service out in Bridge City)

potluck dinners are your favorite indoor sport.

you don't question why the seat you sit in at church is called a pew.

you wish MTV, VH1 and CMT had hymns.

you understand Garrison Keilor's stories.

you think it is funny when somebody references "What does this mean?" when truly asking the question, too.

you use Acolyte as a verb (acolyte, acolyting, acolyted - they are all fine)

the first thing you ask when you hear about a new hymnal is "What color is it?"

you sing hymns with all your voice and gladly sing at church, but you forget what songs you know when asked to sing "something"

you poke fun at yourself and don't take yourself too seriously.

people who are not Lutheran do not understand when you are joking.

you understand the importance of letting kids eat the communion bread after the service

you feel a strange sense of pride when people refer to you as "the singing church."

 

[Pioneer3mm]

Good post / humor..
- Lol.
---
I was involved in UMC... many years ago.

 

[CharismaticLady]

I remember going to a special program at a Church of Christ one evening where an entertainment troup of students from Pepperdine University (a Church of Christ university), put on a series of skits. I'll never forget one skit where they put up a curtain and they were all behind the curtain talking, and in front of the curtain was Saint Peter at the gate of heaven speaking with a new-comer. Saint Peter was whispering, so of course, the new-comer started whispering also, then said, "why are we whispering," and Saint Peter said, "Oh, those inside are Church of Christ; they think they are the only ones here."

 

[Tra Phull]

When I was little, I did STAND UP during
"Stand up, stand up for Jesus"

even though everyone else was seated.

 

[KagomeShuko]

I remember going to a special program at a Church of Christ one evening where an entertainment troup of students from Pepperdine University (a Church of Christ university), put on a series of skits. I'll never forget one skit where they put up a curtain and they were all behind the curtain talking, and in front of the curtain was Saint Peter at the gate of heaven speaking with a new-comer. Saint Peter was whispering, so of course, the new-comer started whispering also, then said, "why are we whispering," and Saint Peter said, "Oh, those inside are Church of Christ; they think they are the only ones here."

There are a lot of variations on that joke. I've heard of the "only ones here" being Baptists and Catholics, too.

 

[CharismaticLady]

There are a lot of variations on that joke. I've heard of the "only ones here" being Baptists and Catholics, too.

I can think of a few denominations that need to hear that joke!

 

[KagomeShuko]

I can think of a few denominations that need to hear that joke!

They probably would think that they are right and the other people don't belong there or end up having a big beef with the person who told it.

Funny, I never hear UMC or ELCA or Disciples of Christ . . .

 

[bekkilyn]

Being that I am a Lutheran with an associate membership in a UMC, I was wondering what these Luther things I am or would be guilty of would also apply to Methodists.

I'm definitely guilty of these ones:

You Know You Might Be A Lutheran If...

Let me see...

during the entire service you hold your hymnal open but never look down at it.

Only if I know everything in it by heart, but hasn't happened yet!

you have your wedding reception in the fellowship hall and feel guilty about not staying to help clean up.

Not applicable.

when you were little you actually thought the Reverend's first name was "Pastor."

No, but he did go by Pastor _____.

it takes at least 10 minutes to say good-bye.

This is an issue I have in general!

you're watching "Star Wars" in the theatre and when they say, "May the force be with you," the theatre replies, "and also with you."

More of a problem now than back then. I grew up Southern Baptist, so we just said "amen" to everything there!

you can say the meal prayer all in one breath.

Only a sadist says super long meal prayers, and would apply to every church I think!

you laugh out loud while reading this list, and relive your childhood at the same time.

If I were still Southern Baptist, I'd probably be looking for ammunition for my next Methodist joke.

you can actually come up with responses to this.

Apparently!

you actually think the pastor's jokes are funny.

Always. Especially now!

requests you hear are preceded or followed by the phrase, "If it's not too much trouble then..."

Not applicable.

you know all the words to the first verse of "Silent Night" in German but can't speak a word of it.

Have never even once sung it in German!

at the close of a memo it states "Peace be with you" and you respond "and also with you."

See above concerning Star Wars.

you notice the Kool Aid stock shoots up during the Vacation Bible School season.

Never went to Vacation Bible School as a young person.

you are referred to as the frozen chosen!

???

you consider lottery tickets a serious investment.

Lotteries would be against the United Methodist Book of Discipline.

you sing "Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus" while sitting down.

Nope, just isn't going to happen!

your idea of an affirmation is "This is most certainly true."

"Amen!" all the way.

you feel guilty about not feeling guilty.

Never.

you argue theology with yourself

Naturally, it's a good way to learn.

you can't have a meeting without having a meal.

Only at times.

sharing the peace during the service could possibly take more time than the sermon. (that'd why they moved the sharing of the peace to the end of the service out in Bridge City)

Not if the pastor is comparable to a drill sergeant and just goes on with the service even if people are still in the aisles. Alternative, have the children's message directly afterwards and they are already gathered at the front waiting after a couple moments of passing the peace.

potluck dinners are your favorite indoor sport.

Yep, and same for Baptists. Maybe Presbyterians are weird about this sort of thing, but on that topic I am clueless!

you don't question why the seat you sit in at church is called a pew.

Comes from reading lots of Nathaniel Hawthorne back in the day.

you wish MTV, VH1 and CMT had hymns.

They don't?

you understand Garrison Keilor's stories.

No idea who that it (and too lazy to Google right now!)

you think it is funny when somebody references "What does this mean?" when truly asking the question, too.

???

you use Acolyte as a verb (acolyte, acolyting, acolyted - they are all fine)

Nope, I'm happy just knowing what an Acolyte is.

the first thing you ask when you hear about a new hymnal is "What color is it?"

I actually wonder what beloved hymns have been removed to make room for those no one has ever heard of!

you sing hymns with all your voice and gladly sing at church, but you forget what songs you know when asked to sing "something"

Thank goodness John Wesley has aptly provided instructions for singing near the beginning of the hymnal (unless of course in the proposed new hymnals, that too has been removed!)

you poke fun at yourself and don't take yourself too seriously.

Don't need to be in church for this one!

people who are not Lutheran do not understand when you are joking.

For me, it has more to do if I'm in a sarcastic mood or not!

you understand the importance of letting kids eat the communion bread after the service

Growing up, we had communion wafers, so I don't think anyone got to eat them after service as they were likely saved for the next time. Nowadays, it depends on the communion stewards as to what happens to the bread!

you feel a strange sense of pride when people refer to you as "the singing church."

"Singing" wasn't quite the adjective I had in mind, but sure, why not?

 

[KagomeShuko]

@bekkilyn "What does this mean?" and "This is most certainly true" come from the English translation of Luther's Small Catechism which is what is used in Lutheran Confirmation Classes in some way . . . be it directly or in a workbook that somehow uses it:

The Small Catechism - Book of Concord

 

[bekkilyn]

@bekkilyn "What does this mean?" and "This is most certainly true" come from the English translation of Luther's Small Catechism which is what is used in Lutheran Confirmation Classes in some way . . . be it directly or in a workbook that somehow uses it:

The Small Catechism - Book of Concord

Ah no wonder I had no familiarity with it!

 

[KagomeShuko]

@bekkilyn Here's a video that has Garrison Keilor in it. The gal is the one who is definitely the Lutheran . . . "The Secret Life of Lutherans" a segment from A Prairie Home Companion.