Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
I'm curious to know what "boundaries" you are refering to.It isn't numbers....it is boundaries.
And when a person has had a high number of partners it means that they have difficulty with boundaries that others do not.
Since water finds it's own level...it simply means that Exploding Boy and you are not on the same water level.
The sheer majority of water levels inside of Christiandom being in Exploding Boy's camp.
If X is the number of times a person has been married, and Y is any number equal to or greater than 1, too many sexual partners is
X+Y
Not that I'm looking for someone who has already been married, but if it so happened that I ended up with a girl who was married but her husband died or something I would not hold that against her at all. Other than that... I hold myself to a particular standard and I expect a potential partner to meet the same standard I have held myself to.
Do you anticipate making your standards more flexible as you age?
I just wonder, because I'm by no means "easy", I'm certainly not a "sleep with them on the third date" type girl... indeed, from most of the discussions with people my age I've had, my number of sexual partners is pretty average, if not a little on the low side, but by your standards, I'd be counted out of the running. (You know, if I were into exploding boys of course)
So, I think I'm an OK person, I certainly wouldn't preasure my new GF of the time to have sex on date 3, or 4, or 5 or any time until she was ready, so I guess I'm wondering why you (and people like you) are keen to disqualify me (and people like me) for what seems a fairly arbitrary reason?
It may seem arbitrary, but I disagree, I want to date someone with similar values to myself, and someone I can share my goals and ambitions with. The simple fact is, someone with a long sexual history, is not likely to be someone I can get along with, it's not a case of their wrong I'm right.. I just a simple fact of different priorities. Same way I wouldn't date someone that followed sports religiously, I don't have a problem with it.. I'm just not likely to get on with them.
I wonder what points of contention you think will stop you from "getting along" with someone based on their sexual history?
Because honestly, in my experience, sexual history seems to have a limited correlation to personality type... there are people I like who have few sex partners, and people I don't get along with who have many sex partners, and people I don't get along with who have had few sex partners, and people I dearly care for who have had many. Has your experience been different?
I don't see why anyone is offended by those who have "too high" standards. It just means there's a greater chance they'll remain single for the rest of their lives
Maybe my experience is skewed by having been both involved with and friend and associate with many people older than myself by a significant margin.Don't be getting the impression this is anything carved in stone.
But you say that having lots of sex partners doesn't correlate to a personality type, I would disagree, for starters.. it suggests that don't do long relationships. When I'm looking for a life partner, someone who is hooking up with someone new on a regular basis.. is almost the definition of what I'm trying purposefully to avoid.
If someone is in a relationship that they're ready and committed enough to be sleeping with each other.. one has to wonder why they're not staying together.
In all fairness, I'm just amused I'm having to explain why I don't wish to date someone with lots of previous sexual partners to Christians who aren't supposed to be having sex outside of marriage.
Um. It wouldn't matter if he had all those partners as a heathen, and now was born-again and a new creation in Christ and recognizes fornication as a sin, and it was something in his past. But anything more than 3 is just gross.
Amen!!! It always amazes me how other Christians like to make me feel bad about having standards. When it comes to dating and marriage we have the right to be picky. Does that mean we may have a narrower pool to choose from? Yes. But I feel that we serve a God that can do anything! At the end of day you have to deal with the person you end up dating and marrying, not any one else!
I'm not saying anyone should feel bad for ending up with a partner with limited (or heck, no) sexual experience. I'm just cautioning people about writing people off because of it. You might be cutting potentially the perfect person out of your future for what are, at heart, totally arbitrary reasons which seem to be based more on snobery, prudery and insecurity than anything else.
Surely the number of sexual partners in the future (i.e. 1) is the important number here, not the number that have gone before?
Right, because the thought of people talking about you behind your back is worth abandoning true love for.For example I live in a small city. Everyone here knows everyone else's business. So pretty much I know who all has slept with who and how many partners they've had. There is no way I would want to date or marry any of the men here even if they repented. Can you imagine having people laughing and snickering behind your back because you're now dating or married to "Bob" who has slept with half the women in your city! Gross! That may sound judgemental but I know what I see in my community.
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?