How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Presbyterians:
None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic:
None. Candles only.
Baptists:
At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.
Episcopalians:
Three. One to call the electrician, one to fix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Methodists:
Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring the bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Unitarians:
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Charismatics:
Who cares if the lights are out? I'm doing carpet time and soaking in the river!
Presbyterians:
None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic:
None. Candles only.
Baptists:
At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.
Episcopalians:
Three. One to call the electrician, one to fix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Methodists:
Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring the bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Unitarians:
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Charismatics:
Who cares if the lights are out? I'm doing carpet time and soaking in the river!
