How long can it take??

[janny108]

For those of you who are now clean of ___, how long did it take for you to become that way? I fell into fantasy more than I ever have last month, and I'm working to break it free from me. Did you have relapses?
thanks
Jan

 

[Johnnz]

Relapses can be common. The two most common reasons are
1 Why you first began, and
2 We are sexual beings and sexual interest is internally generated by our hormones. Thus, it does not just "go away".

John
NZ

 

[MadeYouLook]

yes relapses are possible and commen. I'm dealing with the same thing. What you really have to ask your self is do you really want to stop or not. My relapses i think have occured because i only tried to quit because i felt guilty. Think do I really want to quit and if not work to change that and pray - God will change your heart.

 

[VivDaGurl]

For those of you who are now clean of ___, how long did it take for you to become that way? I fell into fantasy more than I ever have last month, and I'm working to break it free from me. Did you have relapses?

Hi Jan,

I agree with what the other two posters had described. We are sexual beings and we are made to have sexual feelings, this is something that comes naturally and very normal. I've been struggling in this area for a long time and all the time, I tell myself that I want to come out of it but I wasn't very serious with myself. It's like, I will tell my trusted friends to pray for me to help me to get out of this area, the next hour when I'm at home alone, I will start fantasizing or masturbating. This goes on and on for a few years...

What you really have to ask your self is do you really want to stop or not....Think do I really want to quit and if not work to change that and pray - God will change your heart.

...until I began asking myself how serious am I to come out from this and I start to even question myself the purpose of coming out from these activities. God loved me so much and He doesn't want me to harm myself or even do things that brings no benefit and even not wanting to see me walking in the wrong ways. God can do so much things for me and what about myself?

Should I continue to hurt the Lord God Almighty? No, I don't want to and I don't want to continue to be like this. I prayed and submit myself to the Lord and ask the Lord to help me to come out from this situation. It's definately not easy at first because fantasizing had already became part of my life and I have to stop it? It sounded as though you are so used to drink milk every morning and the next minute, you have to stop drinking milk every morning because it make you sick!

It's real hard and we have to work hand-in-hand with the Holy Spirit to go through this. It's a real struggle, I can say but the determination of your heart, the strong will power that you have, think about God's Love for you, it had encourages me to work this through.

Relapses, you ask? Sure enough....we are sexual beings as I said earlier as well as mentioned by Johnnz. It depends on individuals...you have to get to know you, yourself well enough to fight this through. For example, some people would go into fantasizing after watching an intimate love story, then, you have to avoid that. Do not go to the websites that you truly know that it contains such information. If you have any collection of sexual related stuffs, throw them away. E-mails are very common tools these days and you tend to receive lots of junks. If it's not appropriate and you are aware of them, delete them away.

Thoughts are still there and it's never easy to fight it. Learn to dwell in the Word Of God. Read the Bible, memorise some verses which you find them useful and able to help you to fight, utter them when you are tempted into fantasizing. Be involved in some healthy activities will help your mind focussed on something good. These are some ways that will be able to help you...

Hope this help.

 

[janny108]

Yes I am gaining victory over my thoughts and I am seeing progress. I know we probably will always have to resist thinking the wrong things.
Jan

 

[Mr.Cheese]

This might not help too much right now but it is good news nonetheless.

You'll get there. You will. It takes time and many "slip-ups." But you'll be past it someday.
You may even find you were harder on your self than necessary about a few things.

 

[janny108]

Thanks for replying Mr. Cheese. You can email me anytime. I've got a few supporters which is a huge help. Yes I can I can identify a little with what you said about people being harder on themselves. I don't want to go into a guilt thing about it, where I feel I don't deserve God's love. I mean we all don't BUT we need to remember that His grace and mercy are paramount!

Jan

 

[LilRitt04]

For those of you who are now clean of ___, how long did it take for you to become that way? I fell into fantasy more than I ever have last month, and I'm working to break it free from me. Did you have relapses?
thanks
Jan

Hi Jan

My name is Jenn. When I was between 16-17 years old I did alot of partying, drugs, and the one that really hurts now and thats sex. Now at 18 I am still struggling with being "in the mood." I have noticed that it takes alot for me to really talk myself down, from not wanting to drink, not wanting to have sex, not wanting to do things like that. Sometimes it can even give me a panic attack. So really it has taken a good year and a half now for me to get this far and I am not totally over it all.

 

[chilibowl]

I don't know your details, but if your struggling with sexual fantasy it's usually because your trying to escape from something, And if on top of this you have a build up of sexual energy, then more than likely you'll be doomed to repeat this behavior time and time again. unless you treat at the source. You have to relise we are spiritual beings driven by chemical bodies. Feelings like happiness, sadness, joy, loneliness, ect... are physically experienced by the brain thru naturally occurring "chemicals" If your in a depressed state or one of unhappiness then a activity like fantasy will typically bathe the brain in endorphins "Happy feelings" And the experience will be far more intense than it normally would be... So if you want to stop and have a very good chance of not repeating then you have to find out what's causing this "depressed state" and address it directly... Because right now "just trying to stop" will not generally work!
It's because your an addict to the high you get from your activity. the only sure way of treating this behavior is to deminish the results or "make it seem less pleasurable" by filling the gaps in your "real life" so that your fantasies won't seem so powerful..

Like I said I don't know your details, but I do know that fantasy is an awsome gift given by god to help us get thru some tough times, and it's only when we abuse God's gift's that we get ourselves in so much trouble, and cause ourselves much more grief.

Good luck, and God bless

 

[ChristianCenturion]

For those of you who are now clean of ___, how long did it take for you to become that way? I fell into fantasy more than I ever have last month, and I'm working to break it free from me. Did you have relapses?
thanks
Jan

Pornography and smoking.

20 years for both. But to be honest, I was Christian in name only for a much of that and spiritual maturity came at a slow pace - due to me.
The repeated backsliding or caving in self-discipline has it's scars and I really wasn't delivered until it was certain that I would not be able to boast about me getting the credit for victory.