How Long Are You Prepared To Wait For A Spouse

[Onwardclimb]

I've been in a constant state of waiting for most of my life when it comes to romance-I've been in continuous prayer about it since I was four--. Although, yes I did have crushes and guys had crushes on me, but it never went beyond a crush into a relationship--not even friendship. And that REALLY HURTS !!!

Its really wierd cause God seems to answer every prayer I have, EXCEPT those having to do with romance!!!!! Now I feel like maybe that means its His choice that I remain single , but then again with my last and STRONGEST crush to date, I'd get the answer WAIT in many different ways whenever I'd pray about him, ...so needless to say I'm confused, LOL !!!

God bless,
Onwardclimb

 

[Injured Soldier]

My mother was in her 40's before she started having kids. And as far as I know she had no real problems with her pregnancies and we all turned out fine.

The last 5 words are pretty subjective, aren't they fishstix? j/k.

I will follow God regardless of what happens. But the fact is people seem to be assuming here that the options are either wait for the right one to come along or settle for someone else. But in my experience, I don't have that option. I am a sick man, with a lot of phsyical, mental and emotional problems. At times I feel like giving up and settling, who cares if I get second or even third best? I just get so tired, and I want someone to understand me. And before I get the stock standard response "God understand and loves you!", I know that. God has also wired me up to relate to people by touch, hence I need other people.

So at times I've finally given in. I've asked out a non-Christian, as well as some not really nice women at all. But not even they reject me. So I don't know what is wrong with me, but I'll just try to follow God despite the stumbling blocks that seem to be in my way. Waiting....I'm just doing all I can to survive day to day much less wait for a less-than-punctual woman that very likely doesn't exist.

 

[Talie]

soldier - I know exactly how you feel, reading this thread I was thinking the same thing, people are assuming there's a choice to either wait or just settle for someone else, but for some of us there IS nobody to settle for... I went through a stage a few years ago that I was ready to settle for ANYONE - didn't care who it was, was just tired of being alone. I've made it to 32 with only ONE guy ever show any interest in me and he hadn't even met me face to face, though we got to know eachother quite well.

These days, I just try to occupy my mind and not dwell on the whole relationship issue because it's just too depressing. I have also grown used to doing things my own way, what I want, when I want, etc, not having to take someone else's needs/feelings/wishes into consideration - i'm not sure how well I'd adapt to changing that behavior!

 

[Mr.Cheese]

I don't see being single as a time of waiting. I see it as a time of living.

Amen to that.

 

[songz777]

Yep Amen,
You gotta live for God and enjoy living for God while you wait, coz there will always be something to wait for.
One has got to be living life to the full as possible while single, enjoying the Lord and making the most of doing wot you cant do when your married or dating.
Whilst the quote: ""I don't see being single as a time of waiting. I see it as a time of living.""" is good, it is never the less a time waiting, because what we really desire .. often is a wait.. but the question is HOW WE WAIT. We can wait unhappy miserable beaten down or LIVE life to the full as Poss with Jesus help.
To quote Paul For me to live is Christ>>>>> And thats how it should be now and when we have a spouse.
Blessings to you for good answers..JOHN

 

[songz777]

At one time, I thought I couldn't wait. However, I learned the hard way that I'd rather be alone than in a miserable relationship because I "settled."

Yeah Caelda, thats how I used to think, I said Umm I going to be married by 30!! whoops now Im 41,,learnt that God is my source of happiness, but still find it hard at times.. I still hope that we may have children, and that God turns a new page in our lives...Your blessing will come be strong C..bless u JOHN

 

[fishstix]

The last 5 words are pretty subjective, aren't they fishstix? j/k.

I guess I kind of set myeslf up for that one. I'll clarify what I meant though - none of us have Down Syndrome or any of those other health problems that potential mothers over whatever age are supposed to be concerned about. And as far as I know, my mother had no health problems herself from being pregnant in her 40's.

 

[shania]

Although I would like to be in a long-term relationship or possibly marry in the not-so-distant future, I would never settle for someone who was second best. I believe problems only multiply when you're not with the person you should be with or marry out of haste or impatience.

 

[Justin04]

Although I would like to be in a long-term relationship or possibly marry in the not-so-distant future, I would never settle for someone who was second best. I believe problems only multiply when you're not with the person you should be with or marry out of haste or impatience.

Oh I sure know what your talking about. I wont settle for second best at all! I'd rather die single then to marry someone who really wasnt the love of my life not to mention my ''perfect ten'' the person Gods called me to be with.

 

[nooby]

Hey good answers, what is should have said is Would any one say I HAVE had enough and take second best .. even date a non christian?
I know Christians who just cant wait and so date non Christians, or may be date someone nice but not really that special one.
If you are in your teens early twenties could you wait 5-10-15 years? Its a tought one iknow?
Coz I hope that my future love is waiting for me and not slipped off the rails to date another chap (if you get my drift)
Just a few thoughts//....Bless you JOHN

Also in reverse for a man settling for a woman who is not yet a Christian - does that mean that a Christian woman out there suffers because the man God had intended for her has disobeyed? Could this also mean that there may be a number of possible Godly men out there for that woman?

 

[Living4Him03]

I honestly don't know. I mean, I think preparing yourself to wait for so long is setting yourself up for failure or disappointment. If you are single now and you just say oh well I will stop hoping for a spouse when I turn 40, then you may miss the boat when God decides to bring someone into your life you could marry at 41. I hope that makes sense. It's best to just wait on God's timing and focus on serving Him above all and not worry about getting married. When the time is right, the time is right.

As for how long will I wait for a guy to propose that I am dating...For me, I think 2 years is enough time to get to know someone well enough to know whether marriage is right for us. That is if I have been able to go out with him on weekends and talk to him pretty often. After 2 years, I would expect to at least discuss marriage and either decide to go our separate ways or get engaged. I am pretty sure that I could not wait longer than that, unless he and I had some reason to wait longer or felt God wanted us to.

 

[Ceris]

I used to obsess about finding my future wife all the time... but that finally stopped about a year ago when I finally gave it up to God. At (almost) 19 years of age, I have started to notice some things that I can look back at see how they have possibly helped me. One such case is that in high school I would despair because I thought no girl showed any interest in me. However according to my parents and older brother, there were several that were obviously interested in me and yet I was completely oblivious to them. It is possible that God blinded me to them so that I can be ready when I finally come across my furture wife.

Ever since I have given the matter up to God, I have not really worried about it. It will happen at the right time, His time, and nothing I do will change that. In the meanwhile, I am focusing upon being a better follower of Christ. A smaller reason for this is so that when the time comes, I will be prepared and ready.