How important is educational level?

[Cordelia]

I couldn't be with a guy who had no academic interests or ambition, simply because it'd be too difficult if we didn't have that in common. My ex was sporty (which I'm not lol) and made fun of me sometimes for my bookwormishness, so that was no good.

I wouldn't mind if my SO wasn't at the same level of on-paper academic achievement as me, provided he'd accomplished something along those lines, like climbing the ladder in a really great job. If he hadn't, he probably wouldn't understand my motivations in life, and I'd have a hard time identifying with him.

Just my thoughts on this.

 

[cnhn9801]

0
I'd like to offer another aspect of this for consideration: What about people who are intimidated by someone else's educational level? Okay, I don't go around telling people this, but I have an undergraduate degree from Stanford and a graduate degree from Harvard. To me, those are just schools I went to. But most people I meet either drool and fawn over me, saying embarassing things about how smart I must be... or, they go the opposite direction and assume that I'm stuck up and think I'm better than they are. I find that while my educational background isn't a big deal to me, it can be detrimental to my relationships with men.

I hear that one Macrina! I'm currently studying for my PhD in biomedical sciences at a well known institution as well, and feel the same way! Do guys find ti threatening when a woman has a higher educational background than them?? I don't care, I see intelligence as much more than just educational background, but I've heard of situations where men feel threatened?? Any input??

Blessings all!

 

[Macrina]

I hear that one Macrina! I'm currently studying for my PhD in biomedical sciences at a well known institution as well, and feel the same way! Do guys find ti threatening when a woman has a higher educational background than them?? I don't care, I see intelligence as much more than just educational background, but I've heard of situations where men feel threatened?? Any input??

Blessings all!

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who's felt this. It gets to the point where I usually try to avoid telling people about my educational background (I think cyberspace seems safer, for some reason...).

I think the education factor matters more to other people than it does to me. Basically, I want to be able to share my book-interests with someone, by which I mean I want to be able to tell them what I'm studying and have them be somewhat interested. I would like him to have his own interests that he could talk to me about, too. But it's really more of a common-interest thing than any criteria I have. If I met someone with no higher education, and we could talk and enjoy each other's company, then the lack of degree wouldn't matter.

I feel kind of weird having talked about my education on these forums, but I thought this might be a safe place for me to share my concern. It's very hard for me -- I really think that men in my life (especially my ex-fiance and my former boss) have been threatened by my education. I wish it wasn't that way.

 

[waterbear]

I've generally noticed that people who I can have the intellectual, concept-centric conversations I like have college backgrounds. The degree itself isn't really relevant to me, nor is the college experience per se important, I think it's more that similar interests usually yield similar backgrounds in this case.

I definately do not, directly, value academic "intelligence" much.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

Isn't it ELOQUENT? Or am I wrong?

You're probably right. But hey, she got the joke, mission accomplished!

 

[Echoes Peak]

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who's felt this. It gets to the point where I usually try to avoid telling people about my educational background (I think cyberspace seems safer, for some reason...).

I think the education factor matters more to other people than it does to me. Basically, I want to be able to share my book-interests with someone, by which I mean I want to be able to tell them what I'm studying and have them be somewhat interested. I would like him to have his own interests that he could talk to me about, too. But it's really more of a common-interest thing than any criteria I have. If I met someone with no higher education, and we could talk and enjoy each other's company, then the lack of degree wouldn't matter.

I feel kind of weird having talked about my education on these forums, but I thought this might be a safe place for me to share my concern. It's very hard for me -- I really think that men in my life (especially my ex-fiance and my former boss) have been threatened by my education. I wish it wasn't that way.

I've definitely think that was such a valid point. I have been approached by males who have been intimidated by my education level or rather what I've done with it...but hence you could start a whole another thread about such issues.

Either way, there has to come a point where if you feel strongly enough about a person, you will start to get pass such matters. If not, then I guess you really weren't meant to be with them.

 

[Ashlynn]

When you are thinking about find a life mate, how important is their educational level. Let's say you have a Bachelor's degree. Would you want you SO, to have and equal educational level?

yes- equal or more. Even if it is...eventually.

 

[KeilCoppes]

Well I find education (or rather the go-to-it-iveness and interest and internal wherewithal to do it) appealing. I tend to be interested in everything in life and the universe, so interest in learning and grasping and understanding resonates with me. On the other hand I've had women go running away claiming I had too overwhelming a personal resume, so I can witness that it can be a drawback.

 

[KeilCoppes]

Do guys find ti threatening when a woman has a higher educational background than them?? I don't care, I see intelligence as much more than just educational background, but I've heard of situations where men feel threatened??

Not speaking for all men, but as with many things, I've learned from personal experience that how you wield your knowledge makes worlds of difference. I've talked with humble and comfortable men who could make me look like a jello mold intellectually if they wished and with others with a quarter the brilliance who used their education like a club and made me momentarily wish someone with an eighth their intelligence but much more pleasant would check them with a hockey stick. It takes some doing for people to realize that they don't have to be strong in every area of life to be accomplished, and yes, many men do have big-dog issues in the intellectual area. If it weren't intellect, though, they'd likely have big-dog issues elsewhere. Ultimately it's not about intelligence, it's about self-confidence and how people relate to one another. Woof. Small dogs often bark the loudest.

 

[wvmtnkid]

I feel that college just isn't for everyone and that you don't have to have an college education to be successful in life. I have a cousin who owns a trucking company who is very successful. No college, he just has a keen business sense. However, I will admit, I am more attracted to someone who has goals and are working toward them.

And I know where you are coming from, Macrina. I am a CPA, but I rarely tell people that, especially men I am interested in dating until later on in the relationship. It seems to intimidate a lot of them in the beginning. People tend to treat me different when they find out. Case in point-my mom had some business at a local insurance company and she asked me to come with her to help her out. We went in and met with a representative. He was talking to us like we were two dumb women until my mom mentioned I was a CPA. Well let me tell you, his tone changed considerably. I was immediately put on the same pedestal with him. In situations like that, I don't mind playing the CPA card. But, for the most part, I don't tell. I really don't like being treated differently based on what I do for a living. I am still the same person I was before they found out what I do for a living. But them knowing I am a CPA somehow makes me smarter in the 10 seconds it took them to find out. True story, I was on one of my famous blind dates, and the fellow I was with found out I was a CPA. He actually asked me what I was going to do with all the money I would now be "rolling in". Well, I had just passed the exam, and honestly newly minted CPA's don't make much, so needless to say, he did good to last through the end of dinner.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

...Do guys find ti threatening when a woman has a higher educational background than them??

If they do, they're probably insecure weenies. Almost evrybody I know is smarter than me And I still like them.

 

[KeilCoppes]

WV - btw congrats on passing your exams. You know, I don't get it - why would being a CPA be that wild? On the other hand, my sister (who incidentally I'll be visiting on Friday) is a CPA. When I was a book-keeper having the CPA come in wouldn't have been an unusual thing.

Now if there were folks out there dealing with genetic research, medical research, chemistry, commercial aerospace, zoology, large scale computers, astronomy, botany, gardening, landscaping, cooking, hiking, photography, manufacturing, children, teaching, psychology, people interaction, law, medicine, financial systems, national parks (note, just about anything) .... now those things are a lot of fun to talk about. :^)

 

[wvmtnkid]

WV - btw congrats on passing your exams. You know, I don't get it - why would being a CPA be that wild?

Thanks! I don't know-I guess I must really look stupid. When they find out I have actually passed some type of certified exam, I guess it takes them by surprise!

 

[Tuffguy]

I love it when girls are smarter then me. I don't like it when they act smug about it though. Its all in the attitude.

I'd love to marry and double the household income...that would be sweet!!!!

 

[Macrina]

I love it when girls are smarter then me. I don't like it when they act smug about it though. Its all in the attitude.

I'd love to marry and double the household income...that would be sweet!!!!

My safeguard against acting smug is that most of the time I don't feel very smart. and as for the income, thing -- well, I'm a rural pastor, so I doubt I'd be exactly *doubling* anyone's money. (not to mention all that student loan debt... )

 

[Echoes Peak]

I love it when girls are smarter then me.

And that sentence just made you cool.

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

And that sentence just made you cool.

Please! TG doesn't need anyone to boost his ego.

 

[Tuffguy]

LOL,,thanks ladies.

 

[Echoes Peak]

Please! TG doesn't need anyone to boost his ego.

Have no fear...I'm multi-talented..I can also bust it.

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

Personally... I find intelligence to be rather sexy... cant help it, I like the geeky kind.

But to answer the OP's question, I am working on my BA rightn ow, and I plan (or would really like to anyways) on getting my masters. But I dont requre the whoever I am with to have the same level of education as I do.

I know many people who have never stepped inside a classromm, outside of highschool who are smarter and more intelligent to talk to then people who have a degree.
So yah...