how far is too far?

[Briseis]

Generally (guys don't take this wrong), girls are more conservative on their boundaries, and if they guy truly loves and cares for you he will find your boundaries worth sticking too. If he isn't willing to do this for you, there are probably many other things he won't be willing to do for you, and his motives for "messing around" are most likely not pure.

Very true. Awhile back I told my bf that I didnt think we should kiss anymore because even that caused too much temptation for me, and thats a pretty big deal (although it didnt last), and he said that he would do whatever is necessary to keep our relationship going strong.

So, I think that whether it be the girl's or the guy's, the more conservative boundaries should be the ones that are followed. The other will simply have to take it down a notch or two for the sake of the relationship. Hopefully they will see it worth it.

 

[gottabemore2life]

I am having a similar problem, although I have come about to this place all backwards.

I am not a virgin, and I regret the decisions I have made and have repented. My boyfriend, on the other hand, is a virgin, and a "wait til marriage" type of guy. At first this bugged me but then I began to respect him and eventually appreciate him for who he is and his ability to resist temptation. However, the longer we have been together, the more things we have started to do. He believes everything short of sex is okay. And while I didn't complain in the beginning because I was taking all I could get, now that I am trying to cleanse my life and really take a closer look at all the things I need to make right with God to live a more Christian, healthy, happy life, I am beginning to think his point of view is kind of skewed.

Isn't sex, sex? Whether it be oral or not?

 

[Blank123]

Isn't sex, sex? Whether it be oral or not?

yup.

 

[ClausJohn]

Engaging in any sexually stimulating activity (might differ from person to person) will very likely lower your defenses against continuing or increasing it. Or, for that matter, switching to an equally or more stimulating activity. So if (for whatever reason) you don't want to allow yourself to have sex, don't start with anything you can't safely say "no" to other activities afterwards.

What eludes me is why many would think that there is some finely defined line between one set of activities and others, the allowed and the not allowed ones. If your god is against sex (which needs some defining what falls under that term, but let's consider everything that brings you to [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] for now), and you can achieve climax by - let's say - twisting your big toe, wouldn't it be presumtious to say it's allowed because it does not qualify (and is not mentioned) as a "usual" technique?

Of course, my personal opinion is to just do what makes you happy, which by you considering manual stimulation as a sort of "replacement" to sex is probably just having sex. But to each his own...

 

[Weasel7711]

holding hands = babies

 

[courtneyhedum]

you wanted scripture? here's some:
psalm 119:9-10
matthew 5:8
philippians 4:8
romans 12:1-2
1 corinthians 6:19-20
1 peter 14-16
1 peter 14:22-23
and there's a bunch more- hopefully that helps you out a little bit!

 

[xmoongirlx]

look I went trough the same thing months ago! Difference is my BF is not Christian and I am. But he agreed to follow my boundaries.

I know it's not easy, we're humans, we enjoy flesh stimulation, but the only way your gonna get out of this is if you ask yourself what you thing about it. If the answers is YOU THINK IT'S WRONG, it's because it is.

The simple fact that your asking makes it wrong, why because if it was right you wouldn't be asking in the first place.

It's a HARD thing to deal with, talking about my situation: we've cut down lots of things we used to do, it's hard but not impossible if your purpose is to glorify God & remain pure. Don't forget the mind though, it's very important, once u stop sexual activities, guess what? they bottle up in your mind, like it's happening to me right now. I'm praying to God to help me fight those thoughts...

No one said it's gonna be easy, but sure it's gonna be worth it!