How does one mend a broken heart?

[HoneyBee]

I'm a 24 year old woman who has never had a boyfriend and, honestly, for the past week, I've been crying about it. It's not just the fact that I'm single, but also the fact that I have been in love before, but it was an unrequited love that happened many years ago. It feels like that first and only first love that I had set me up for disaster because it set the bar so high for other potential love interests.

It's going to sound funny, but it all happened in elementary school back when I was in the 4th grade until the 6th grade. Before that, my life was full of so much abuse of every type. I didn't know what real love was; I thought that real love meant being treated like property and being beaten up by your significant other. Ironically, my parents didn't hurt each other like that; it was someone else who had treated me in that way and taught me love was toxic. So, before I met my first love, I looked for love in all of the wrong places. I would fall for boys who were verbally and physically abusive to me. It was very tragic, to say the least.

But then I hit the 4th grade when everything would change. There was a boy in one of my classes who I thought was cute because he looked like my last crush and my friends had talked me into telling this other boy that I liked him. I went up to him at recess and told him that I liked him before running off, but later on he told me that he didn't like me back. "We could still be friends though," he told me, and I took him up on that offer. From then on, him, two other friends, and I all hung out together like friends do.

Another thing to mention is that I was bullied a lot during elementary school. People would be very hurtful to me, calling me ugly and treating me like I was disease-ridden. One time, I was even thrown to the ground by another classmate, but that's beside the point. In the end, nobody except my friends really treated me like I was human, and even then many of them hurt me too. The boy I developed a crush on was the only one who treated me like I was somebody. He didn't bully me, and actually he stood up for me a lot when I was being bullied. For the very first time, I began to realize that I did, indeed, have some worth.

Time passed on, and eventually it was time for us to go on to middle school. On one of the last days of the 6th grade, however, the boy I had a crush on gave me my very first hug from a guy. This was a big thing for me because growing up I wasn't allowed to touch anyone of the opposite sex (I was raised Muslim). I never did tell my mom (who would have hit me) that I got that hug, but I have always cherished that moment because I was shown affection that I was rarely ever shown up to that point.

I look back at all of this and feel it all as bittersweet moments. These memories of the boy I had a crush on are good, and I thank God every time I think of him that he was sent into my life, but I feel it's a bit sad that we parted ways and never saw each other again. I wish I could see the person he is today and let him know about the impact that his friendship and kindness had on my life. If it hadn't been for him, I know what would have happened to me. I would have ran away from home instead of turning to my grandparents for help later on in life, I would have fallen into the arms of abusive men, and I honestly do not believe that I would have lived to the age that I am now (24).

Sometimes I wonder what things would have been like if we had kept in contact with each other. I wonder what would have happened if I had been allowed to go to public school like everyone else after I was finished with elementary school (I was home schooled after elementary school until college). Would I have fallen in love again? Would I have been able to move on from the heartache after leaving my first real crush behind? I really do wonder about all of this, because after being torn from public school and put into home schooling, my social development was arrested.

I developed more rapidly than my peers in some aspects, but I still haven't caught up in other aspects. I can relate to older adults more than I can to people of my own age group, and that really sucks. There was also more abuse that happened after I was put in home schooling that I still haven't recovered from even after 7 years of therapy, including incidents that led to me losing the rest of the friends that I had. I didn't have any other friends after the 7th grade until college. That's why all of this elementary school stuff is still fresh in my mind; because it's the last thing I remembered before being taken away from most of the only social supports that I had left.

But yeah... I did find this guy years later on Facebook though and he's doing well. Last I saw, he was in a relationship with another girl. It made me happy for him, but also a bit sad as well. I'm still not completely over our previous friendship because of the impact that it had on me, but at the same time I truly do wish him well. They do say, after all, that if you really love someone, you have to be willing to let them go. So now I'm trying to let go, but how do you emotionally let go of the one who was literally instrumental in saving your life?

Maybe I'll never truly be able to forget him, try as I may, but maybe that's okay too. Without him, I wouldn't know what love is really supposed to look and feel like, and I might have settled for someone toxic and abusive by now. Perhaps there is still hope for me yet in the future, but for now, I'm trying to nurse a heart broken by unrequited love and a future that was never meant to be.

How does one, exactly, mend a broken heart?

 

[Bobber]

They do say, after all, that if you really love someone, you have to be willing to let them go. So now I'm trying to let go, but how do you emotionally let go of the one who was literally instrumental in saving your life?

Maybe I'll never truly be able to forget him, try as I may, but maybe that's okay too. Without him, I wouldn't know what love is really supposed to look and feel like, and I might have settled for someone toxic and abusive by now. Perhaps there is still hope for me yet in the future, but for now, I'm trying to nurse a heart broken by unrequited love and a future that was never meant to be.

How does one, exactly, mend a broken heart?

I did read your whole story. Interesting. I see from your profile you're a Christian too. So how do you mend a broken heart. Consider that God is the solution to that.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Ps 147:3

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matt 11:28

Know that Jesus, God loves you! You might even consider that you shouldn't really forget that young man in a sense. Consider it as a fond moment you had where God brought that individual into your life to bring you some joy. God however has perhaps a different plan for you with another person if you're so desiring a boyfriend or spouse. Always know this. God is GOOD, KIND and GRACIOUS and wants the best for you.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

I'm a 24 year old woman who has never had a boyfriend and, honestly, for the past week, I've been crying about it. It's not just the fact that I'm single, but also the fact that I have been in love before, but it was an unrequited love that happened many years ago. It feels like that first and only first love that I had set me up for disaster because it set the bar so high for other potential love interests.

It's going to sound funny, but it all happened in elementary school back when I was in the 4th grade until the 6th grade. Before that, my life was full of so much abuse of every type. I didn't know what real love was; I thought that real love meant being treated like property and being beaten up by your significant other. Ironically, my parents didn't hurt each other like that; it was someone else who had treated me in that way and taught me love was toxic. So, before I met my first love, I looked for love in all of the wrong places. I would fall for boys who were verbally and physically abusive to me. It was very tragic, to say the least.

But then I hit the 4th grade when everything would change. There was a boy in one of my classes who I thought was cute because he looked like my last crush and my friends had talked me into telling this other boy that I liked him. I went up to him at recess and told him that I liked him before running off, but later on he told me that he didn't like me back. "We could still be friends though," he told me, and I took him up on that offer. From then on, him, two other friends, and I all hung out together like friends do.

Another thing to mention is that I was bullied a lot during elementary school. People would be very hurtful to me, calling me ugly and treating me like I was disease-ridden. One time, I was even thrown to the ground by another classmate, but that's beside the point. In the end, nobody except my friends really treated me like I was human, and even then many of them hurt me too. The boy I developed a crush on was the only one who treated me like I was somebody. He didn't bully me, and actually he stood up for me a lot when I was being bullied. For the very first time, I began to realize that I did, indeed, have some worth.

Time passed on, and eventually it was time for us to go on to middle school. On one of the last days of the 6th grade, however, the boy I had a crush on gave me my very first hug from a guy. This was a big thing for me because growing up I wasn't allowed to touch anyone of the opposite sex (I was raised Muslim). I never did tell my mom (who would have hit me) that I got that hug, but I have always cherished that moment because I was shown affection that I was rarely ever shown up to that point.

I look back at all of this and feel it all as bittersweet moments. These memories of the boy I had a crush on are good, and I thank God every time I think of him that he was sent into my life, but I feel it's a bit sad that we parted ways and never saw each other again. I wish I could see the person he is today and let him know about the impact that his friendship and kindness had on my life. If it hadn't been for him, I know what would have happened to me. I would have ran away from home instead of turning to my grandparents for help later on in life, I would have fallen into the arms of abusive men, and I honestly do not believe that I would have lived to the age that I am now (24).

Sometimes I wonder what things would have been like if we had kept in contact with each other. I wonder what would have happened if I had been allowed to go to public school like everyone else after I was finished with elementary school (I was home schooled after elementary school until college). Would I have fallen in love again? Would I have been able to move on from the heartache after leaving my first real crush behind? I really do wonder about all of this, because after being torn from public school and put into home schooling, my social development was arrested.

I developed more rapidly than my peers in some aspects, but I still haven't caught up in other aspects. I can relate to older adults more than I can to people of my own age group, and that really sucks. There was also more abuse that happened after I was put in home schooling that I still haven't recovered from even after 7 years of therapy, including incidents that led to me losing the rest of the friends that I had. I didn't have any other friends after the 7th grade until college. That's why all of this elementary school stuff is still fresh in my mind; because it's the last thing I remembered before being taken away from most of the only social supports that I had left.

But yeah... I did find this guy years later on Facebook though and he's doing well. Last I saw, he was in a relationship with another girl. It made me happy for him, but also a bit sad as well. I'm still not completely over our previous friendship because of the impact that it had on me, but at the same time I truly do wish him well. They do say, after all, that if you really love someone, you have to be willing to let them go. So now I'm trying to let go, but how do you emotionally let go of the one who was literally instrumental in saving your life?

Maybe I'll never truly be able to forget him, try as I may, but maybe that's okay too. Without him, I wouldn't know what love is really supposed to look and feel like, and I might have settled for someone toxic and abusive by now. Perhaps there is still hope for me yet in the future, but for now, I'm trying to nurse a heart broken by unrequited love and a future that was never meant to be.

How does one, exactly, mend a broken heart?

I really can't give you any advice.

 

[JustSomeBloke]

How does one, exactly, mend a broken heart?

1. Delight yourself in the Lord. Dwell on the positive things he has given you, and pray for guidance for the future.
2. Meet lots of new people. Although the one person you liked did not desire a romantic relationship with you, there are a few billion other people in the world, and the more people you meet, the more likely you are to find someone.
3. Fill your life with activities. When you are focused on something, and enjoying yourself, you will forget about the things that upset you in the past. Also, people are naturally attracted to other people that look like they are having fun, because they want some of that fun for themselves, and to share it with someone.

 

[DebbieJ]

How does one, exactly, mend a broken heart?
--

Time. It heals all wounds. Trust me.

 

[Renata8]

Don't dwell on the past. You've written so much about your past. Write about your future. Make plans, set goals, figure out what gifts God's has blessed you with. The right person will come along.

 

[Sketcher]

Things that sort of help:

- Objectively looking at what you had, and realizing it really wasn't what you wanted it to be. He was decent to you when most other people weren't. That's not a love relationship. The right man for you will have that kind of decency, plus he'll think the world of you and want to date you.

- Closure. He does not like you like that, he likes this other woman like that. The door is shut.

Again, this isn't a cure-all. These are just some truths that have helped me chip away at my own heartbreak. I'd be lying if I said I was totally over the situations that have broken my heart.

 

[Christian Sonic Fan]

In time, all things will make sense. Right now, it may seem bleak and you are unsure, but give it time and you will have the answer that you seek. Be patient, be calm, and have resurrance in the heavenly Lord. I do not know what he has in store for you, but I do know that he will not let you down. Pray to him and ask him what should be done and let him heal your broken heart. Believe these words because I speak with truth and wisdom.

When I was in high school, I was bullied for liking a TV show called My Little Pony. I like Sonic now. I'm 21. People would ridicule me and call me all sorts of horrible names that I dare not mention. When I asked the Lord to help and assist me in my times of need, he came to my aid and allowed me to drop the pain in my heart and to feel freedom in who I was. I was a Brony. I'm a Furry as well. I like Sonic too. I like any fandom but that's not necessarily the thing that I want you to get out of this.

What I want you to get is the fact that the Lord will always be there for you no matter what your circumstance is. The key to him working within you is belief. If you believe in him then he can work his magic in you. If you lack belief then develop a relationship in God. That relationship is belief in him doing all of his good and his good deeds and belief in the Bible and what it says. Take it for fact and not just a story. (this I had a hard time doing in specific.)

It's almost like a belief in, let's say, the paramedics when you get hurt. You believe that they can heal you. Well, God can heal the soul and he requires nothing but belief in him! Not even modern medicine can heal the soul! Only God can! And belief is the only tool that god needs!

I do feel quite sad that you feel this way. I'm sure someday something will change and I'm sure that a guy will come along and make you happy. Don't lose hope though because God makes things better. He might make it better in his own way but be on the lookout for that as well. Always have a watchful eye and lookout for what the Lord gives you, because I miss it sometimes myself. I'm expecting a cure or some type of elevation to a situation that I am facing and lo' and behold, he has given the answer to me (not in a way that I expected) but I can use it to help me fix a situation.

Be optimistic! Have hope! Be happy! (though it may seem hard, just smile. Smiling has been proven to force your brain to be happy)

Hope this helps!

 

[Goodhuman]

Deleted.

 

[FollowingChristAlone]

First I would like to say dear sister in Christ that while you may think romantic love is something out of reach for you because of your past, that is not necessarily the voice of God. God is a God of hope, a God that wants to give you a future. For as it is written:

Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

It may be that God's plans for you are one of celibacy, as he sometimes grants to his followers. But it is also possible that Father God is in this very moment preparing for you a husband. Father God may be aligning for you a path to the husband he knows you need, one day at a time, one step at a time. But Father God is a God of perfect timing, and the chief of all the virtues, patience, is required to see his perfect plan enacted in your life.

I'm a 24 year old woman who has never had a boyfriend and, honestly, for the past week, I've been crying about it. It's not just the fact that I'm single, but also the fact that I have been in love before, but it was an unrequited love that happened many years ago. It feels like that first and only first love that I had set me up for disaster because it set the bar so high for other potential love interests.

Would God provide you with only one vista of love in your childhood and then never grant you the peace of such a love again? Do you believe God is good and wants the good for you? The framing of the world I see here is hopeless, and most hopeless visions are schemes of the devil designed to rob the Children of God of their bliss with Father God. It is beyond me to perfectly know the mind of God, but this does not sound like his voice to me.

It's going to sound funny, but it all happened in elementary school back when I was in the 4th grade until the 6th grade. Before that, my life was full of so much abuse of every type. I didn't know what real love was; I thought that real love meant being treated like property and being beaten up by your significant other. Ironically, my parents didn't hurt each other like that; it was someone else who had treated me in that way and taught me love was toxic. So, before I met my first love, I looked for love in all of the wrong places. I would fall for boys who were verbally and physically abusive to me. It was very tragic, to say the least.

I am not the slightest bit surprised that your first experience of love was in elementary school. That is usually before the time that Satan has had the chance to pollute the world with sex disguised as love - with emptiness disguised as intimacy. I can share in your lament sister, I too was abused often in my youth and it set me up to look for love in all the wrong places. The fortunate thing for us is that Christ has come and bared all of the sinful world on his cross, so that one day at a time the old self that was corrupted by sin and Satan can be crucified with Christ and a new self rise with Christ at the empty tomb.

But then I hit the 4th grade when everything would change. There was a boy in one of my classes who I thought was cute because he looked like my last crush and my friends had talked me into telling this other boy that I liked him. I went up to him at recess and told him that I liked him before running off, but later on he told me that he didn't like me back. "We could still be friends though," he told me, and I took him up on that offer. From then on, him, two other friends, and I all hung out together like friends do.

Another thing to mention is that I was bullied a lot during elementary school. People would be very hurtful to me, calling me ugly and treating me like I was disease-ridden. One time, I was even thrown to the ground by another classmate, but that's beside the point. In the end, nobody except my friends really treated me like I was human, and even then many of them hurt me too. The boy I developed a crush on was the only one who treated me like I was somebody. He didn't bully me, and actually he stood up for me a lot when I was being bullied. For the very first time, I began to realize that I did, indeed, have some worth.

I'm going to propose something that may sound very strange to you at this point. God used the crush you had on this boy to draw you into a friendship where he could model the love that Christ always had for you. For as it is known, Christ wishes to be all of our friends, and true friendship is a precious present from Father God in heaven. Further, true romance is a precious gift of Father God, and a treasure that he bestows upon each of us when we are ready for it. When you are ready Father God will bring into your life exactly the person you are supposed to have, and if you walk in Father God's light he will help you become everything he designed for you from the beginning of time.

Time passed on, and eventually it was time for us to go on to middle school. On one of the last days of the 6th grade, however, the boy I had a crush on gave me my very first hug from a guy. This was a big thing for me because growing up I wasn't allowed to touch anyone of the opposite sex (I was raised Muslim). I never did tell my mom (who would have hit me) that I got that hug, but I have always cherished that moment because I was shown affection that I was rarely ever shown up to that point.

I look back at all of this and feel it all as bittersweet moments. These memories of the boy I had a crush on are good, and I thank God every time I think of him that he was sent into my life, but I feel it's a bit sad that we parted ways and never saw each other again. I wish I could see the person he is today and let him know about the impact that his friendship and kindness had on my life. If it hadn't been for him, I know what would have happened to me. I would have ran away from home instead of turning to my grandparents for help later on in life, I would have fallen into the arms of abusive men, and I honestly do not believe that I would have lived to the age that I am now (24).

But in a very real sense, you never parted ways. What you loved about the boy was Father God's light in him. All love, all genuine affection, everything good in the world comes from Father God. Use your memories of that boy as a chance to marvel at Father God's creation, at his power to make amazing creatures that reflect his divinity and bring light to the world. It is good that you thank Father God for this glimpse of his light he has shown you, and I would encourage you to pray for his guidance about how you should proceed with your life.

Sometimes I wonder what things would have been like if we had kept in contact with each other. I wonder what would have happened if I had been allowed to go to public school like everyone else after I was finished with elementary school (I was home schooled after elementary school until college). Would I have fallen in love again? Would I have been able to move on from the heartache after leaving my first real crush behind? I really do wonder about all of this, because after being torn from public school and put into home schooling, my social development was arrested.

Others have already commented on this, but I would encourage you to not focus on what could have been. You cannot change the past, only Father God has that kind of power. So don't ruminate about it, focus on what Father God is doing in your future and the good plans he has for you in the future. That is not to say you should never look to your past, it is hard to appreciate Father God's light without remembering the darkness you have come from. I truly believe some of us are allowed to have shadows in our past so that we can share with others the proper appreciation of Father God's light.

I developed more rapidly than my peers in some aspects, but I still haven't caught up in other aspects. I can relate to older adults more than I can to people of my own age group, and that really sucks. There was also more abuse that happened after I was put in home schooling that I still haven't recovered from even after 7 years of therapy, including incidents that led to me losing the rest of the friends that I had. I didn't have any other friends after the 7th grade until college. That's why all of this elementary school stuff is still fresh in my mind; because it's the last thing I remembered before being taken away from most of the only social supports that I had left.

I suspect part of your ability to relate to older adults stems from the trauma you have experienced. I also relate more with those older than me, and it is because the trauma's Father God has blessed me with by allowing them to happen have allowed me to empathize with those who have become seasoned with the knocks and blows of life. It is very likely that you would make an excellent therapist if you chose to become one, those that have experienced trauma and are being bound together by Father God's light have a special gift for witnessing to people, or at least that is what I believe.

But yeah... I did find this guy years later on Facebook though and he's doing well. Last I saw, he was in a relationship with another girl. It made me happy for him, but also a bit sad as well. I'm still not completely over our previous friendship because of the impact that it had on me, but at the same time I truly do wish him well. They do say, after all, that if you really love someone, you have to be willing to let them go. So now I'm trying to let go, but how do you emotionally let go of the one who was literally instrumental in saving your life?

The way you let go of the boy that saved you is remembering that he was showing you Christ's love through his actions. Cling all the tighter to Christ, and remember that he died for all of your sins so that you could be perfectly united with Father God in heaven. He absolutely adores you, and he is preparing a mansion for you in heaven so that you can be with him and Father God for all eternity.

Maybe I'll never truly be able to forget him, try as I may, but maybe that's okay too. Without him, I wouldn't know what love is really supposed to look and feel like, and I might have settled for someone toxic and abusive by now. Perhaps there is still hope for me yet in the future, but for now, I'm trying to nurse a heart broken by unrequited love and a future that was never meant to be.

How does one, exactly, mend a broken heart?

You don't. There is nothing you can do to mend your own heart. Only Christ can mend your heart, and only Christ can rescue you. There is nothing you can do to save yourself. That is why you have to completely surrender to Father God and let him do a good work in you.

Keep the faith sister, Father God has amazing plans for you - you just have to rely on Christ bringing you home one day at a time.

 

[bèlla]

Sometimes the way forward is viewing our feelings objectively. Most people wouldn't associate lifelong love with a childhood crush they had in fourth grade. Neither are mentally or emotionally mature enough to have a relationship that lasts forever. The first thing you have to do is cease to equate your feelings with adulthood. The second is recognizing your immaturity in light of your poor experiences. You're unable to view it as a crush because your love meter wasn't full. You were starved for kindness and held on to him.

Finally, how does this correlate to your faith? Would God want you pining over someone you met in your youth and believing all is lost? Work on strengthening your faith and self-esteem. Deepen your relationship with Him. He said, I know the plans I have for you. Plans to give you a future and a hope. Not a past you'll recollect when you're lonely. Apply the word to your feelings and relinquish the beliefs which don't line up with it.

~Bella

 

[Pavel Mosko]

How does one, exactly, mend a broken heart?

Realizing that God is all we need is a start. That is one of the big points in this sermon, which is probably the one video I recommend the most to folks here on the board.

 

[SeekingGloryOnThisJourney]

I'm a 24 year old woman who has never had a boyfriend and, honestly, for the past week, I've been crying about it. It's not just the fact that I'm single, but also the fact that I have been in love before, but it was an unrequited love that happened many years ago. It feels like that first and only first love that I had set me up for disaster because it set the bar so high for other potential love interests.

It's going to sound funny, but it all happened in elementary school back when I was in the 4th grade until the 6th grade. Before that, my life was full of so much abuse of every type. I didn't know what real love was; I thought that real love meant being treated like property and being beaten up by your significant other. Ironically, my parents didn't hurt each other like that; it was someone else who had treated me in that way and taught me love was toxic. So, before I met my first love, I looked for love in all of the wrong places. I would fall for boys who were verbally and physically abusive to me. It was very tragic, to say the least.

But then I hit the 4th grade when everything would change. There was a boy in one of my classes who I thought was cute because he looked like my last crush and my friends had talked me into telling this other boy that I liked him. I went up to him at recess and told him that I liked him before running off, but later on he told me that he didn't like me back. "We could still be friends though," he told me, and I took him up on that offer. From then on, him, two other friends, and I all hung out together like friends do.

Another thing to mention is that I was bullied a lot during elementary school. People would be very hurtful to me, calling me ugly and treating me like I was disease-ridden. One time, I was even thrown to the ground by another classmate, but that's beside the point. In the end, nobody except my friends really treated me like I was human, and even then many of them hurt me too. The boy I developed a crush on was the only one who treated me like I was somebody. He didn't bully me, and actually he stood up for me a lot when I was being bullied. For the very first time, I began to realize that I did, indeed, have some worth.

Time passed on, and eventually it was time for us to go on to middle school. On one of the last days of the 6th grade, however, the boy I had a crush on gave me my very first hug from a guy. This was a big thing for me because growing up I wasn't allowed to touch anyone of the opposite sex (I was raised Muslim). I never did tell my mom (who would have hit me) that I got that hug, but I have always cherished that moment because I was shown affection that I was rarely ever shown up to that point.

I look back at all of this and feel it all as bittersweet moments. These memories of the boy I had a crush on are good, and I thank God every time I think of him that he was sent into my life, but I feel it's a bit sad that we parted ways and never saw each other again. I wish I could see the person he is today and let him know about the impact that his friendship and kindness had on my life. If it hadn't been for him, I know what would have happened to me. I would have ran away from home instead of turning to my grandparents for help later on in life, I would have fallen into the arms of abusive men, and I honestly do not believe that I would have lived to the age that I am now (24).

Sometimes I wonder what things would have been like if we had kept in contact with each other. I wonder what would have happened if I had been allowed to go to public school like everyone else after I was finished with elementary school (I was home schooled after elementary school until college). Would I have fallen in love again? Would I have been able to move on from the heartache after leaving my first real crush behind? I really do wonder about all of this, because after being torn from public school and put into home schooling, my social development was arrested.

I developed more rapidly than my peers in some aspects, but I still haven't caught up in other aspects. I can relate to older adults more than I can to people of my own age group, and that really sucks. There was also more abuse that happened after I was put in home schooling that I still haven't recovered from even after 7 years of therapy, including incidents that led to me losing the rest of the friends that I had. I didn't have any other friends after the 7th grade until college. That's why all of this elementary school stuff is still fresh in my mind; because it's the last thing I remembered before being taken away from most of the only social supports that I had left.

But yeah... I did find this guy years later on Facebook though and he's doing well. Last I saw, he was in a relationship with another girl. It made me happy for him, but also a bit sad as well. I'm still not completely over our previous friendship because of the impact that it had on me, but at the same time I truly do wish him well. They do say, after all, that if you really love someone, you have to be willing to let them go. So now I'm trying to let go, but how do you emotionally let go of the one who was literally instrumental in saving your life?

Maybe I'll never truly be able to forget him, try as I may, but maybe that's okay too. Without him, I wouldn't know what love is really supposed to look and feel like, and I might have settled for someone toxic and abusive by now. Perhaps there is still hope for me yet in the future, but for now, I'm trying to nurse a heart broken by unrequited love and a future that was never meant to be.

How does one, exactly, mend a broken heart?

Well, a partner isn’t the answer to it. (I always thought it was, dating multiple people for the “solution”)
I just wanted some real love.
But the only real love is our Lord and Savior.
However, it’s difficult to feel His love, it’d just be easier if He was physically here, right?
Wrong.
His love can be expressed in so many forms.
Where you are now was meant to be, as crazy as it may sound. I was socially hidden for 11 years, desperately wanting to see someone, to feel anything, to the point where I turned to sin.
I finally turned to God and knew He was the only one who cared if I was lonely.
For months I was left alone with Him, in His care.
He did give me friends which I didn’t even realize until later, and my gratitude for that is unexplainable.
Turn to Him first. Seek His kingdom And everything else will be added to you. Matthew 6:33
Desire God in everything you want.
His Grace is sufficient, it is more than we’ll need.
No matter what type of circumstances we are in life.
“The Lord giveth and the Lord takes away...”
Job 1:20-22

 

[Lost4words]

Offer up your feelings, thoughts etc to Jesus. Lay them at His feet.

Try to turn negative things into positive things.

Not easy but, trusting in Jesus is the only way forward.

God bless you

 

[bekkilyn]

There is a lot of good advice in this thread, but you really need to work on you, first, before jumping into any relationships. Ask yourself whether or not you truly believe you are worthy of being loved. If no, then start there because you have to be able to love yourself before you are able to participate in a healthy relationship with someone else. If yes, then work on being the type of person you would be delighted to be in a relationship with.

Based on your post in that other thread, I suspect your depression is making all of these things much more difficult, but just remember, you are a beautiful human being created in God's image and he is always in love with you!

 

[HoneyBee]

Thank you, everyone, for your words of encouragement and reality in the face of my very strong emotions. Sometimes it helps to get that reality check when things seem bleak. And you're all right. I think I can see for myself now that what happened back then was a gift to me from God in the sense that it showed me how people are supposed to treat one another. At the same time, however, I don't think that God would want for me to be so stuck in the past that I could not see a future for myself. I know that the Lord has all things happen in good time, and I just need to be patient when it comes to finding the one for me someday.

In the meantime, I believe I really should be looking into why I've been feeling so down about falling in love with someone one day. Perhaps it is the lies of the Devil about the weight of my sins that is holding me down. I say this because whenever the prospect of dating someone comes up, I immediately run away. I think part of it stems from my trauma too, but also, I believe that no one would want to love me if they knew just how awful of a person I have been and maybe still am. I know we all have sins and wrongdoings in our pasts, but I feel like mine are the worst and can never be forgiven... but then, those are the lies of Satan being whispered into my ears, I believe. Perhaps I should work harder to strengthen my faith that way I can more firmly believe that God has forgiven my sins through Jesus' sacrifice on the cross. Perhaps bringing up these worries in therapy would also help. I'll have to see.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

What I have to say is probably contrary to what others have said, but I'm going to say it nonetheless.
But why not stay broken?

Psalms 51:17
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

That way God's light and glory can be seen in you. There are people who stay broken. And even though I'm not discounting healing...It's the only way we can partake of the fellowships of His sufferings.

 

[GospelS]

Hello @ACatholicRose

Be glad for the Lord is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). He is calling you to a deeper and more intimate walk with Him.

Here's a song for you-

 

[Jason0009]

Practising love is hard. Heart break feels like your heart is shrivelling. I've been privy to this for the last month and a half. I go to exercise to relieve this stesss.