How DOES a Christian help a homosexual deal with their homosexuality?

[KCKID]

As I threatened to do so in another thread I ask the above question in this new thread. Yes, this IS 'another homosexual thread' but, I hope, with a slightly different slant to the usual.

We see much condemning of homosexuality by Christians in general. Some say, however, that Christianity as a whole should stop hating (no argument there) and instead 'help' those who have not yet attained 'the truth' that they (the Christian) claim to possess. Instead of condemnation, 'help' for others is suggested by these Christians to overcome alcohol addiction, gambling addiction, addiction to inappropriate contentography, addiction to . . .and on and on.

In this case I'd like to focus on 'the vice' of homosexality. Many Christians certainly regard homosexualiy as a 'preventable' or a 'curable' vice. So, what precisely IS 'the truth' of the Bible in regard to this issue and how should the Christian set about 'helping' homosexuals with this (perceived) terrible and addictive 'vice' that they possess?

Please, someone ...are you up to the challenge of convincing others that YOU have 'the truth' whatever that might be, that homosexuality is indeed a sin or a vice that prevents homosexuals from accepting 'the truth' whatever that might be, and that you, personally, can 'help' them overcome this 'vice' and lead them to 'the truth' whatever that might be?

By the way, while this IS a Christian forum please try to refrain from using the 'clobber' passages of the Bible SOLELY with which to make your point. Remember that God gave human beings (Christians) the task of bringing others to 'the truth' whatever that might be. As far as I know, the Bible makes no reference at all to hitting others over the head with it in order to make a pertinent point. God gave us brains and reasoning abilities way before the Bible was even thought of.

By all means, allow the Holy Spirit to do the 'convincing' for you if you like.

 

[Vehementi Dominus]

There's more to homosexuality than just the sex, though. Isn't trying to "help" them just serving to get in the way of love?

Personally, if I were homosexual, I'd be seriously offended if anyone tried to change me.

 

[BigBadWlf]

Tell him or her that masturbation is okay. The bible has chapters about the act and how it should be clean when you do it.

The thing that makes it a sin is the adultery. Looking at girls or boys and envisioning them having sex with you makes it a sin.

Remember that biblically adultery is something that can only occur with a married woman.

 

[TeddyKGB]

The thing that makes it a sin is the adultery. Looking at girls or boys and envisioning them having sex with you makes it a sin.

And Jesus's point was that everyone does that no matter how hard they try not to.

 

[BigBadWlf]

Agreed.

CHange only happens if they want to change. By enforcing your mentality against someone, not only will it not work, but they will actively resist.

Reason only with those seeking reasoning.

I am pretty sure KCKID doesn’t want this thread moving into a debate about nonsense like this.

If you want to try to claim that gays and lesbians can change into heterosexuals start a new thread

 

[Vehementi Dominus]

Agreed.

CHange only happens if they want to change. By enforcing your mentality against someone, not only will it not work, but they will actively resist.

Reason only with those seeking reasoning.

Are you implying that homosexuality is unreasonable?

If a woman loves a woman, or a man loves a man, telling them that it's wrong for them to love who they want is unreasonable.

 

[Dustin Gray]

My only suggestion would be that the person(s) in question sow the word of God (The Bible) into their hearts on a continual basis and allow Gods Grace by His Holy Spirit to transform them from the inside out.

Meditating on the word day and night is the best remedy in my opinion, we should be doing it anyway.

As far as homosexuals in the church, I would question whether they are attached to the vine or not.

If you don't stay attached to the vine (relationship with Christ) through meditating on the scriptures, prayer and fellowship with other believers then your not going to become what God has created you to be.

 

[quatona]

How DOES a Christian help a homosexual deal with their homosexuality?

Not being a Christian myself, I´d suggest that the form of help would depend entirely on the question whether and which problems the homosexual in question tells me he has with his homosexuality.

 

[Protocol11]

Tell him or her that masturbation is okay. The bible has chapters about the act and how it should be clean when you do it.

The thing that makes it a sin is the adultery. Looking at girls or boys and envisioning them having sex with you makes it a sin.

I can't even get it up without envisioning something sexual. Sounds like a catch-22 to me.

You can touch, you just can't think or look at anything that would inspire you to touch.

And how does that help a gay dude?

The closest thing Jesus says about masturbation is that "you should cut your eye out and hand off it it causes you to sin."

Other then that, your okay. It was hard for me too. Do not feel bad about it. You can learn if you try.

It was hard to cut off your hand, and gouge out your eye? Yea, sounds like it would be harsh undertaking. With love like that, who needs hell?

No, what I am saying is that if someone wants to change, they will enter this forum, either with want of change or to try to validate there way of life by arguing with those who would oppose it. Why, because they are uncomfortable with their way of life, and want to be secure in their thoughts.

So, when they argue for they believe in, their uncorfortable, but when you argue for what you believe in, you're comfortable? Double standards aren't very Christ-like.

 

[KCKID]

My only suggestion would be that the person(s) in question sow the word of God (The Bible) into their hearts on a continual basis and allow Gods Grace by His Holy Spirit to transform them from the inside out.

But, what are 'they' being transformed inside out into ...a heterosexual?

Meditating on the word day and night is the best remedy in my opinion, we should be doing it anyway.

No, no ...this is where - and why - so many problems originate. One has to get their nose out of the Bible and apply their God-given brains to 'issues' such as this one. Please - someone - indicate from the Bible itself where one is instructed to meditate on the scriptures day and night. Furthermore, why would doing so 'help' a homosexual to 'deal with' their homosexuality? If anything it would further frustrate them.

As far as homosexuals in the church, I would question whether they are attached to the vine or not.

How do you know WHO or that ANYONE in the church is attached to the vine? Furthermore, the last thing I want to think about is what my Christian brothers and sisters get up to when alone in their bedroom.

Is there a 'shudder' smiley?

There are some things that should not be open to discussion and one's sexual preferences is one such thing. I have never yet met up with a church member who inroduced themselves with, "Hi, I'm Jim ...and I'm a heterosexual." I don't think that being an effective Christian or being a part of the vine has anything to do with who one might be attracted to or intimate with.

If you don't stay attached to the vine (relationship with Christ) through meditating on the scriptures, prayer and fellowship with other believers then your not going to become what God has created you to be.

But, didn't God create those who are involuntarily attracted to others of the same sex? If not, then who did?

Anyway, thanks for your response.

 

[KCKID]

Not being a Christian myself, I´d suggest that the form of help would depend entirely on the question whether and which problems the homosexual in question tells me he has with his homosexuality.

If they were Christian it would be something like: "Through no fault of my own I happen to be homosexual. I've been struggling with this for as far back as I remember. I know that homosexuality is frowned upon by God and The Church. Can you help me deal with this?"

 

[KCKID]

I can't even get it up without envisioning something sexual. Sounds like a catch-22 to me.

You can touch, you just can't think or look at anything that would inspire you to touch.

Well, when a sperm sample was required from training astronaut John Glenn he apparently hummed The Battle Hymn Of The Republic becoming louder and more enthusiastic as he progressed until he achieved the desired results. Have you tried that one?

And how does that help a gay dude?

Realistically ...quite clearly it doesn't.

It was hard to cut off your hand, and gouge out your eye? Yea, sounds like it would be harsh undertaking. With love like that, who needs hell?

Cutting off the hand might resolve the masturbation issue.

I think the quote from Jesus was more intended as hyperbole.

 

[quatona]

If they were Christian it would be something like: "Through no fault of my own I happen to be homosexual. I've been struggling with this for as far back as I remember. I know that homosexuality is frowned upon by God and The Church. Can you help me deal with this?"

I have met homosexual Christians who described their problems quite differently.
(If possible, I´d like to avoid being drawn into a "TrueChristian" argument.)

 

[cantata]

No, what I am saying is that if someone wants to change, they will enter this forum, either with want of change or to try to validate there way of life by arguing with those who would oppose it. Why, because they are uncomfortable with their way of life, and want to be secure in their thoughts.

One should never force their ways of living on someone else. It only pushes them away and gives them the desire to resist change.

Actually I think people who change because they are “uncomfortable with their way of life”—i.e. who hate what they are—are some of the least likely to be able to change successfully. Self-loathing is not a very effective impetus to change.

I talk about queer issues here at least partly because I would like to disabuse certain people of the misguided notion that no one really wants to be queer. I am very happy to be exactly what I am, and I would not change it if you paid me.

 

[Veyrlian]

No, what I am saying is that if someone wants to change, they will enter this forum, either with want of change or to try to validate there way of life by arguing with those who would oppose it. Why, because they are uncomfortable with their way of life, and want to be secure in their thoughts.

One should never force their ways of living on someone else. It only pushes them away and gives them the desire to resist change.

I think what you are saying here is that everyone on these forums are uncomfortable with their way of life and want to either change it or validate it.

It's like a congregation of lost souls!

 

[FedererFan]

Don't "help" them unless they seek it from you first. Also, when you do "help" them, don't do it in a way that makes it seem like they've turned away from God into sin. Chances are, the person is not going to change and they'll end up believing that you think they're a bad person and/or are living in sin.

It's a really sensitive issue to the person who is struggling. A lot of Christians I have seen in my life don't see it that way. They see it as just another sin that they should help the person stop committing. To the gay person, it's much more complicated than that.

 

[Protocol11]

It helps a gay guy because most men turn to homosexuality when the hormones are raging. Because women only experience this same "need" in there forties, they are less likely to give the man what he wants. When your gay, the playing field and possibility of having sex is greater because your both in need of release.

Masturbation is the release...

But you can't touch without think about something sexual. And masturbation doesn't replace a steady partner.

Atheist and other religions have joined a Christian Forum. The evidence is overwhelmingly against them. It's like a registered sex offended spending and hour in a teenage girls locker room... and then getting caught and saying they were only trying to "see what it looked like."

Maybe we just like to debate and this is a good site to do it. There is no evidence against them, it's a double standard.

Well, when a sperm sample was required from training astronaut John Glenn he apparently hummed The Battle Hymn Of The Republic becoming louder and more enthusiastic as he progressed until he achieved the desired results. Have you tried that one?

Now that's perverted.

 

[b&wpac4]

Atheist and other religions have joined a Christian Forum. The evidence is overwhelmingly against them. It's like a registered sex offended spending and hour in a teenage girls locker room... and then getting caught and saying they were only trying to "see what it looked like."

OOoohh you have evidence? Please, share with the group! I have been seeking evidence for so long, if you were to produce it, I may just consider that a miracle!
(BTW: "I believe" "God did good things for me" and "I feel.." are not considered good evidence as I could say that "Worshiping the sun makes me feel good" and you wouldn't consider that great evidence)

 

[KCKID]

Well, when a sperm sample was required from training astronaut John Glenn he apparently hummed The Battle Hymn Of The Republic becoming louder and more enthusiastic as he progressed until he achieved the desired results. Have you tried that one?

Now that's perverted.

Perhaps. But, it evidently got the job done.

 

[Criada]

As I threatened to do so in another thread I ask the above question in this new thread. Yes, this IS 'another homosexual thread' but, I hope, with a slightly different slant to the usual.

We see much condemning of homosexuality by Christians in general. Some say, however, that Christianity as a whole should stop hating (no argument there) and instead 'help' those who have not yet attained 'the truth' that they (the Christian) claim to possess. Instead of condemnation, 'help' for others is suggested by these Christians to overcome alcohol addiction, gambling addiction, addiction to inappropriate contentography, addiction to . . .and on and on.

In this case I'd like to focus on 'the vice' of homosexality. Many Christians certainly regard homosexualiy as a 'preventable' or a 'curable' vice. So, what precisely IS 'the truth' of the Bible in regard to this issue and how should the Christian set about 'helping' homosexuals with this (perceived) terrible and addictive 'vice' that they possess?

Please, someone ...are you up to the challenge of convincing others that YOU have 'the truth' whatever that might be, that homosexuality is indeed a sin or a vice that prevents homosexuals from accepting 'the truth' whatever that might be, and that you, personally, can 'help' them overcome this 'vice' and lead them to 'the truth' whatever that might be?

By the way, while this IS a Christian forum please try to refrain from using the 'clobber' passages of the Bible SOLELY with which to make your point. Remember that God gave human beings (Christians) the task of bringing others to 'the truth' whatever that might be. As far as I know, the Bible makes no reference at all to hitting others over the head with it in order to make a pertinent point. God gave us brains and reasoning abilities way before the Bible was even thought of.

By all means, allow the Holy Spirit to do the 'convincing' for you if you like.

I can't say how one goes about 'helping' a homosexual... but I can give a fairly good idea of how not to do so.
Assuming that the homosexual in question actually wants to be 'helped', don't assume that this desire to change, or find a way of coping, means that they can actually change overnight.
I was told, as a new Christian, and a homosexual, that God would change me... I just had to have the faith to live it out. The church leaders who said it were very kindly, godly men, who obviously believed what they said.
However, after 22 years of pretending it isn't there, the last 18 of them in a heterosexual marriage... I have realised that it isn't that simple.
If you honestly want to help people who are struggling with their sexuality, don't give them the expectation that it will be easy, that they can change their desires, that God will 'make it alright'. Because, frankly, it isn't that simple. If they are serious in their desire to avoid homosexual relationships, help them to prepare for a celibate life.
Listen when they doubt that they are doing the right thing, be there for them when they feel they can't go on, let them know when they mess up that you don't condemn them, invite them to spend time with your family when they are alone yet again...
In short... be there, as you would be for any friend who has an ongoing issue of any kind.
Because there isn't a quick fix.