i know that me saying this automaticly shows that i disagree with some people on the issue, though i dont desire to bring conflict...
the only way to find out who you are in Christ, and specific purpose God has on your life and your specific unique gifts and annointings is from God himself.
so, so many people look within themselves, when they are searching for who they are... and what they are called to be...
thats the common sense thing to do right?
who am i? i look in the mirror to see who i am.
but the truth is, as strange as it sounds, that is not how you find who you are and what your gifted and called to do.
my calling in life and my gifting in life, is something i had no desire to do or ever could do, before i was filled with the holyghost.
my friend calvin has a blessed annointing to sing powerfully and preach, but he couldnt carry a tune before he got saved.
the same goes for many people in the ministry today.
you go get alone with God, who holds the instruction manual for your life, and see what he says. he is the only one who really knows you or knows much at all.
GOD HAS TO SHOW YOU YOUR GIFTS AND CALLINGS.
do not look at what your good at now, and think that must be them.
i was good at drawing, people said i was gifted to be an artist for God.... no.
calvin could rap, people said was gifted to be a rapper for God.... no.
this is the critical time in your life, when it is not the season for you to minister to anyone else or that is step into your ultamite calling, but for you to get under men of God who have gone before you and let them minister to you and form you and change you.
get in the word, learn spiritual principles, grow spiritual roots, fill yourself with the word of God, learn to pray, learn to worship, begin to serve in your church whereever they need you and be faithful.
and when you are built up, God will begin to use you to build other people.
paul said that we need to be "...rooted and built up..." thats how it works.
you grow roots first, and then you grow upward into a ministry.
alot of people think they know their gifts and callings they think its what theyve been good at since they were little, but they dont know God, they dont know the scripture, they dont know how to pray... and they really have no idea... its sad.
i used to think i was called to be lead guitar or something in a heavy metal christian band, and take the gospel to the freaks. i so thought i was called to do that! haha, i told my pastor that one time, i was like "HEY, HEY PASTOR I LEARN WHAT I WAS CALLED TO DO!..." and after i told him he was like.
"...uhhh...well...we need those to..."
because he knew... he just knew... that no that wasnt it.
but i was gloriously filled with the holyghost, spoke in tongues, fell in love with God, prayed deep into the nights, cried half the nights to God, got in the mens sunday school class, learned who God was and how i was supposed to function in the kingdom, and God alone birthed in me a passion for his word and the ministry. and now, the only thing i truely love to do is talk about Gods word and i am called to preach the gospel to the nations.
but God did that, it was nothing i could have found by looking at myself.
only by taking a season of looking only at God.
thats why the bible says your mind has to be "renewed" or changed, by the word of God. the way it is now, is not the way it needs to be, is not the way its called to be.
this sinful cursed world has broken you and disarranged you, and God has to put you back together and rearrange you if your to be anygood for the kingdom.
and please, please learn this.
YOU DO NOT GET SAVED, AND TAKE WHAT YOU DID IN THE WORLD, AND FLIP IT AND USE IT FOR CHRIST... that is not how God works. THAT IS NOT HOW GOD WORKS. PEOPLE WILL TELL YOU IT IS, BUT ITS NOT! you have to go through a season of being renewed and changed, before your used mightily for God, know God, and know yourself.
Javon, for instance, my brother in Christ Javon, he knows God and walks in faith and power, man that guy is powerful and knows the scripture!
but he got that was from long nights of not goin and hanging out with friends, or shoppin or watchin movies... but staying at home, praying, meditating in the word of God, fasting... finding out who God is, and who he was really meant to be, becuase the world had lied to him, and most christians didnt know God well enough to tell him.
sorry so long,
this subject is close to my heart.
). The thing is because I have remained silent for so many years I find it apsolutely SCARY to talk about Christ apart from where I am comfortable. I can get soo afraid and just back down. I don't want to do this anymore!! I have tried praying for a greater love, as God has been telling me that this is how you get rid of fear, but I am still scared though I also feel like I am growing in Christ. I would REALLY appreciate any prayer! and advice!
