How do you tell the difference between your desires and Go'd desries?

chrisscan87 said:

This is something I have been trying to figure out lately. I strongly believe that sometimes we want things that God doesn't want us to have. How do you tell the difference between your own desires and his desires for you. Sometimes the desire is easier to discern if it's downright a sin like sleeping with someone you aren't married to. What if the desire is a good thing though? The biggest desire of my heart is to meet a Christian girl, fall in love with her and her with me, marry her and raise a Bible-believing family. Nothing sinful about wanting that. Heck, it's a desire of mine to get married before I turn 30, but that is pretty unlikely. That strong desire coupled with Psalm 37 makes me believe that God wants me to marry. At the same time, I have never really much luck with women. Very few have been willing to give me a chance and the ones who do end up putting me in the "friend zone" or we have a short relationship that just doesn't work for some reason. The years of bad luck and dead ends make me think God is giving me a sign that he could be planning for me to stay single. Have any of you figured out how to tell the difference between your own desires and God's desires for you?

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Psa 37:4-7
(4) Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
(5) Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
(6) And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.
(7) Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.

so the obvious question is 'how do you delight yourself in the Lord?'

well, you commit your way unto Him - you seek to be led by Him

you trust in Him even when the world and your own body argues with His word

you rest in Him; seeking His righteousness which is by faith in His grace rather than striving to earn things from Him by your righteousness

you wait patiently for Him; His timing is perfect even when your flesh is way way past being content to wait

you resist worry, which is faith in the devil's ability to steal, kill and destroy

you resist envying the wicked for their temporary prosperity

nothing there about 'signs' from God that don't line up with His word, or about experiences interpreting His word .

2Ti 3:16-17
(16) All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
(17) That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.

Dear chrisscan87. God`s desires for us are always for our best, and consist of Love and Compassion. Our desires for ourselves are almost ALWAYS selfish and from self-interest. God wants our love freely given and No tags attached. Jesus gave us two Commandments on which hang all the Law and the Prophets. ( Matthew 22: 35-40) " Love God with all our hearts, with all our souls, and with all our minds. Also: Love our neighbour as we love ourselves." Neighbour being: all we know and all we meet, friends and not-friends. The difference is between Love freely given, and selfish desires.
The Bible tell us to " Repent," and to be " Born Again." We have to learn to Love our Heavenly Father as God wants to be Loved, and how can it best be done? By following the two Commandments which Jesus gives us
in Matthew. We have years to get better and better, and Jesus is always there to help and guide us: JESUS IS THE WAY. " Repent," and "Be BORN Again," is what we have to learn to do, and it is what God wants from us.
God is Love, and God wants loving sons and daughters.
The difference between God`s and our desires? To want our Love with hearts, souls, and minds, and to want what we desire with hearts, souls, and minds. I say this with love, chrisscan. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

Perhaps you should change your prayers a bit to give God room to
move in your life.

You are praying for a wife but perhaps you should be praying that you would grow closer to
the Lord, that you would surrender yourself to Him and that He would have his way in your life to
make you the kind of person He can bless and entrust with another into your care.

God can change you and make you better than you are and cause you
to be the kind of person a Godly woman would love to share her life with.

God wants to be first in your life.

God wants you to trust in Him and surrender yourself to Him in love
and trust so that when He brings the right person along at the right time,
you along with this person will follow the Lord together.

Pray and ask God to prepare you and to bless the one He will bring
into your life.

Pray and ask God to renew a right spirit within you so that your desire
will be one that places Him as the center and source of your life and
all your future blessings.

When we seek God's will in our life we open ourselves up to God's hand, will
and ultimate purpose of divine and lasting blessings that will cause us
to grow closer to Him and will never bring us into situations where we will
find our joy, strength and blessings in others as our source.

You have sought the Lord and asked for His blessings so now it is up
to you to invite the Lord to have His way in your life in such a way
that you will grow into the full measure and stature of Christ.

Ephesians 4: 11-16
And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and
some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry,
for the edifying of the body of Christ, till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the
knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness
of Christ; that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every
wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but,
speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ— from
whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the
effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the
edifying of itself in love.


You asked God for a Godly woman so you should expect that God wants you to be a Godly man.

Your goal should not be that God give you a Godly woman unless you are willing to put God first,
set aside all other goals as most important to you and seek diligently to follow Christ as you open
up your heart, mind and soul to the Lord, asking Him to have His way in your life so that He can
make you all that He desires that you would be. The rest will be given to you when you surrender
to Christ as Lord so He can prepare you for His blessings.

Hope this helps you...

The years of bad luck and dead ends make me think God is giving me a sign

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God can use circumstances to redirect us, but that's only one way He works, and it would be a mistake to assume that's what's going on. Both Joseph and David went through years of harsh trial that could have easily discouraged them. They had to encourage themselves in the Lord to keep on the path. Joseph had a prophetic dream, David had an anointing to refer back to. These were their transcendent guiding stars. The years of trial actually prepared them in unique and necessary ways for their destinies in God.

I think the question comes down where your spiritual peace is. Over in Mark 11.22-ff, Jesus says that if we can believe without doubting we will have it. The word doubting there means "examining". If we're constantly examining something to see if it's real, that's not the kind of faith that overcomes. The faith we're looking for is settled belief, so that you're not at war with yourself.

Of course, Abraham "hoped against hope" for his promise. Sometimes it's a battle to get to that place of faith and knowing. This is like laboring to enter His rest (Heb 4). So don't be dissuaded if it takes work to get to the level of faith you need. Keep pressing in, with a teachable heart, until you have spiritual peace, and I believe there you will find God's will.

Start to pray for other people and anything that makes you more open and humble to the desire of God in your life, and sometimes the desire of God is not clear, sometimes it takes a complete trust that if you may feel that it is not what you want: that may be the desire of God for you. Do not wait for signs because it may be only a coincidence and do not rush for an idea that you have, wait on the Lord, God knows the difficulties that you may have.

chrisscan87 said:

This is something I have been trying to figure out lately. I strongly believe that sometimes we want things that God doesn't want us to have. How do you tell the difference between your own desires and his desires for you. Sometimes the desire is easier to discern if it's downright a sin like sleeping with someone you aren't married to. What if the desire is a good thing though? The biggest desire of my heart is to meet a Christian girl, fall in love with her and her with me, marry her and raise a Bible-believing family. Nothing sinful about wanting that. Heck, it's a desire of mine to get married before I turn 30, but that is pretty unlikely. That strong desire coupled with Psalm 37 makes me believe that God wants me to marry. At the same time, I have never really much luck with women. Very few have been willing to give me a chance and the ones who do end up putting me in the "friend zone" or we have a short relationship that just doesn't work for some reason. The years of bad luck and dead ends make me think God is giving me a sign that he could be planning for me to stay single. Have any of you figured out how to tell the difference between your own desires and God's desires for you?

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"Love God and do as you please." - Augustine

Breaking through mind limitations of the flesh is almost like your hunger for instant transformation for a new-born genius-intelligent mind of Christ and perfect physical body of Christ that is totally disease-proof, old age-proof and emotionally, depression-proof:.
This future-coming Christ-transformation reality is a joyously positive spirituality that is beyond sexuality where I believe Christ-spirituality will replace heterosexual and homosexual desires of the flesh, as we become new brothers and sisters of Christ in the physical presence of Jesus inside our future-coming most advanced free-for-all home accommodation city: the kingdom of God on a new Earth:.
If your desire for marriage does become strong then your future harvest from your yet-to-be-reality marriage is your children when they reached adulthood, then they will continue to spread the Word of God until that very important day when Jesus will return who will stop marriage and children up-bringing altogether, where I believe that Jesus wants us to be the same adult age,say 25 years old, as an all-adult mature and intelligent society:.

Seek and ye shall find a truly magnificent spirit of a woman, even if the outside might be racially genetically different .;'*';.
Rev 21:2

There's nothing wrong with desiring marriage and raising a godly family...
I commend you on that point.

Everything at it's proper time--
Consider where you are in life at this point-- you work a job and you attend
college, you have less than two years before finishing it. You share
a home with a couple of roommates who help with expenses.

Would having a wife at this point be wise?
You may desire one but it may not be feasible for you yet.
You have a lot on your plate as it is... and there are some "issues" you
still need to work on before entering into marriage.

Who's in your corner?
Are you connected with mature Christian guys at church who can come
alongside you and be mentors and prayer partners?
Are you working on your own issues(we all have them) and developing a
deeper spiritual walk with the Lord?

I have gleaned many things from your other threads, you are around 27
years of age and are drifting into thinking because you haven't met the
right one and haven't had much success with the girls you dated that God
may not want you to get married?
Did it ever occur to you that God is helping you to mature?
Maturing doesn't come without pain, struggles and let downs.
Good husbands and wives don't just magically occur when one says "I do."
One must go through trials and there are lessons to be learned etc.

How can one be a proper husband if he doesn't work on his "issues"?
I noticed the thread about that girl you liked and how you reacted
when she told you she got a boyfriend-- you believed that you should be
her boyfriend and said some things that weren't nice. Later you
sent her texts apologizing etc... but it wasn't received too well by her or
something like that.

You felt bad about all that, but what are you doing to control your temper?
Are you working towards developing realistic expectations?
Are you working on your personal relationship with the Lord?
Are you striving towards trusting God and allowing Him and His Word
to help you develop into a godly man?

It is good to seek a godly person for marriage and it is well that one plans
to raise his or her family to honor God.
There is a time and place for everything under the sun, realizing that it may not
be "at this time" isn't necessarily a bad thing.

I would encourage you to work on building a firmer faith walk with God, develop
relationships with godly men who can come alongside you as prayer partners
and mentors. To continue towards earning your degree at college and to do your
job well, as if you were working for the Lord because you actually are working for
the Lord since you are a Christian and therefore one of His representatives while
you are on this earth. People should see Christ-like qualities being displayed
whether you are working at a gas station or working at a top level marketing firm.

I learned much over the years and even though I was nothing more than a
"glorified maid" at the last job I worked at for 10+ yrs... The Lord
"established" me in a rich family who made it possible for me to retire at age 37 in 2002.

I made many mistakes in life and I've learned from each one.
Know this:
Nothing is impossible for God-- this is true because I know first hand what God
can do for a poor black girl who was raised in a racist area in NC...I'm the girl
He took from a shack that had no electricity and no indoor plumbing. One day I would
be dropped into a rich family who would come to care very deeply for me.

There would be some rough times along the way but the day would come when I would travel in style, stay in 5-star hotels, hob-nob with the rich and famous-- then "the world" would be offered to me and it would be rejected, because I wouldn't compromise my faith
in order to inherit a fortune.

I continue to trust and rely upon the Lord, I've been blessed with a godly husband,
we have a good home and life. Things aren't perfect, we have faced some major tragedies
and have come through them stronger-- thanks be to God.

I hope this can be of help to you.

I just ask God to show me how to live.

GOD'S SPIRIT VERSUS MAN'S FLESH


Life by the Spirit

So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
Galatians 5:16-26

Be glad that you didn't get tangled up with the wrong woman, because now your path is cleared for the right one!

One time I was praying about a job change, and asked God not to give me any leads or interviews that would waste my time. Well now who would want the results of that prayer, low responses! I went on for a while wondering what was wrong with me, and then hit the side of my head and admitted I'd prayed for that.

Basically on finding God's will, look through scriptures and if you don't see a conflict with other verses, or sense a check in your spirit, then you're not likely far off track. Ask us to pray for you to find a good partner!