How do you remain "child-free"?

[snoochface]

I had a conversation with a friend that made it very clear to me how someone makes a decision to be child-free. She adores her cats, she photographs them, she snuggles with them, she talks to them on the phone, she's devastated when one goes missing for too long or gets sick. I don't care for cats terribly much. I like cute little kittens, and the sounds they make, and their soft fur and huge shining eyes. But I have no pressing desire to possess one. They grow into CATS. With claws, and attitudes, and they never learn to feed themselves or open or close doors or clean up their own poops.

It's very similar to those who choose to be child-free. They may adore beautiful little sleeping babies, chubby pink faced toddlers, and curly gossamer hair (OR they may not). But they don't like dripping noses, the smell of dirty pants, sticky hands, temper tantrums, whinging, and everything that goes with it. They simply don't have the desire to "possess" or be responsible for one.

Perfect description.

 

[RobinRedbreast]

bravo on the description

 

[Nella Fantasia]

...broccoli is far less risky to try than having children...

My husband would disagree with you I've tried getting him to eat vegetables since we married, and he simply refuses. Or he'll put it into his mouth then quickly spit it out. One day I made us green beans, went into the kitchen to get something, came back out, and he's over there, scraping off his green beans onto my plate. Of course when he sees me he tries to act all innocent...

See? I don't need children. I already have one

 

[kat]

See? I don't need children. I already have one [/quote]

SO TRUE!

 

[127.0.0.1]

How could someone not like vegetables? Well, like Bill Hicks said,

Guys don't want children because guys ARE children, and we don't want the competition - Bill Hicks, the one and ONLY stand up comedian!

 

[RobinRedbreast]

LOL I don't eat vegetables, I can't stand them. I barely eat potatoes, and they must be in fry-form for me to do so

Vegetables trigger my gag reflex almost immediately, it's a very unpleasant experience

Just makes it all the more impressive that I lost 50 lbs haha

 

[snoochface]

I was a vegetarian for about 10 years -- and I dislike almost all vegetables. My husband says I was a pastatarian, heh.

Broccoli, spinach, and peas are yum. Everything else, if it's green, I don't want it.

 

[Gwendolyn]

I have never liked peas, ever.

I'll eat broccoli, spinach, asperagus, and corn. Carrots if they're steamed and I have mashed potatoes. lol.

 

[127.0.0.1]

So...wow. Well, I guess thats another reason not have kids; you wouldn't be able to get 'em to eat all thier greens! Oh what horrible parents you'd all be!

PS
I'm a bit of a cereal addict myself. That & chocolate, mmmmm.

 

[snoochface]

I LOVE cereal. Only the sugared kind, though, which I can't eat anymore.

 

[127.0.0.1]

I LOVE cereal. Only the sugared kind, though, which I can't eat anymore.

Poor Snooch! I weep for you!

 

[snoochface]

Poor Snooch! I weep for you!

I cannot even begin to tell you how much I am now craving Cocoa Krispies! I'm going to buy one of those little boxes they have in cafeterias.

 

[Rembrandtfan]

You're not guilt tripping me.
People are complicated. And just as we are complex, so are our reasons for being childfree.

Take me for example.
I'm a five.
What do fives hate?
No-control, unpredictability.

Now what do kids bring?

And for folk like us who are anxious, have panic attacks and so on...having kids is for most, something we just can't deal with.

I don't hate kids. I don't hold the view that they should be better behaved either.

They're kids after all, they're supposed to scream, be loud, obnoxious, squirmy and disobedient. That's what kids do, whether you want them to or not. Since I can't deal with that kind of behavior, I don't have kids. And I know that the folk who do have well behaved kids work really hard to get them to act that way.

Honestly, if I had to run a nursery, or babysit, I would be so lost. I just wouldn't know what to do.

I agree. Kids have to be allowed to be kids. I'm just realizing how much lately I wasn't allowed to be one. When you have an alcoholic/rageaholic father and a codependent mother, you aren't allowed to be a child. You can never rock the boat and you must already know everything without being taught. So I hardly think that's a good way to prepare a child to be a future parent. And it's cruel to expect them to be.

 

[lavenderbees]

DH got fixed in 1997. I had a hysterectomy 3 months ago which was medically necessary and would have eventually became an emergency. No pregnancies will happen here.

Doesn't that age you? I've heard stories about women losing their libido and going through menopause following a hysterectomy. Is that true? (I would have had one, myself, by now, if I had not heard these stories.)

 

[snoochface]

Doesn't that age you? I've heard stories about women losing their libido and going through menopause following a hysterectomy. Is that true? (I would have had one, myself, by now, if I had not heard these stories.)

It doesn't age you.

If your hysterectomy includes the removal of your ovaries, you go into instant menopause and experience the symptoms of menopause. That can include reduction of libido, hormonal changes, etc., but it's all treatable in the same way you would treat menopausal symptoms.

But many hysterectomies don't include the removal of the ovaries. Most only remove the uterus and cervix. That's how mine was. In those cases, there are no hormonal changes at all because the ovaries are still functioning normally.

 

[Gwendolyn]

Dumb question alert -

if the ovaries are left in, do they still ovulate? Do the eggs just sit there and die since they can't go anywhere? Or do the ovaries say, "Oh, gee, my uterus is missing. Hmm, better not ovulate"?

 

[127.0.0.1]

The ovaries continue to ovulate. The ovaries are an important source of hormones, if they were to cease, then it would send you into menopause.
What I don't understand is why women who've had a hysterectomy can't drinks caffeine. Not that caffeine is good for you anyway.

 

[snoochface]

Dumb question alert -

if the ovaries are left in, do they still ovulate? Do the eggs just sit there and die since they can't go anywhere? Or do the ovaries say, "Oh, gee, my uterus is missing. Hmm, better not ovulate"?

They still ovulate. I asked my doctor what happened to the eggs and he said they just dissipate. But the ovaries still function normally. I don't think that was a dumb question at all, especially since I asked it myself.

The ovaries continue to ovulate. The ovaries are an important source of hormones, if they were to cease, then it would send you into menopause.
What I don't understand is why women who've had a hysterectomy can't drinks caffiene. Not that caffiene is good for you anyway.

Say what? No one told me to cut out caffeine, and it's a good thing too because I'm a coffee fiend. I put the fiend in caffein... okay, that's not working, heh.

Anyway, when I had uterine fibroids, I was told to cut back (or cut out) the caffeine then because they said it could worsen the fibroids. But once my uterus was gone I didn't get those instructions. I don't know what it would affect, but now I'm interested to find out.

 

[127.0.0.1]

Anyway, when I had uterine fibroids, I was told to cut back (or cut out) the caffeine then because they said it could worsen the fibroids. But once my uterus was gone I didn't get those instructions. I don't know what it would affect, but now I'm interested to find out.

Well, caffeine is bad for you anyway because it plays with your dopamine levels, which you need to go to sleep. I usually only drink caffeine if it's decaf tea (preferably white or green).

My parents (my father is least) is probably more upset about my not drinking coffee than he would be if he knew I was childfree. He says all true Norwegians drink coffee. So I guess I'm outta the will. lol!

 

[snoochface]

Well, caffeine is bad for you anyway because it plays with your dopamine levels, which you need to go to sleep. I usually only drink caffeine if it's decaf tea (preferably white or green).

My parents (my father is least) is probably more upset about my not drinking coffee than he would be if he knew I was childfree. He says all true Norwegians drink coffee. So I guess I'm outta the will. lol!

I can relate! My mom was Italian and I was drinking espresso when I was a young kid (not a lot, always mixed with lots of milk and sugar, but I developed a taste for it early). And yes, it messes with my ability to sleep at night, so I usually take Ambien too. One of these days I'll wean off both, but the caffeine addiction has a good solid hold on me.