how do you pay for a wedding?

[JillLars]

My boyfriend and I want to get married and are ready to get married.  We both know that we are ready to get married, the only problem is money.  We don't have enough money to have the wedding we want to have.  We'd like to have a wedding with all our family and friends there (which ends up being quite a lot of people)  We live together right now (for financial reasons) and really don't have any money to spare.  Usually it is the brides parent's who will help pay for the wedding, but my parents can't do that right now (they are getting divorced and have no money to spare)  I hear all the time that if we are ready to get married then we just should, but we want to have everyone be there, and have it the way we've always wanted...any suggestions? 

 

[karla]

When my husband and I got married he had graduated from college and was working for about 5 months and I had just graduated from college with no job. I graduated in May and we were married in June. We really didn't have much money to spend on a wedding, but wanted a nice event. My parents gave us $2500 towards the wedding and the rest we had to come up with. Our entire wedding...church, dress, tux, flowers, photographer, reception, etc. came to about $5000. We had planned for about a years, so it wasn't all the money up front. Things we could have done without were the photographer (I enjoyed the pictures that family members took better anyways). We didn't go overboard with flowers (just bouquets for me and my maid of honor and 2 bridesmaids and then flowers for parents and the groomsmen. The biggest thing is to shop around and remember that some people spend $20,000 others $5000, others less...the end result is the same you are married to the love of your life and you take that wonderful journey together with God. We didn't have a limo, we just decorated our old beater car (it was fitting). So many people spend time worrying about the "wedding" when the focus should be on the marriage. Don't worry about what other people want or expect, so what you can afford and have fun! Get married in the morning and have a bruch afterwards (that might cut down on the cost of a sit down dinner). Congrats on the upcoming marriage and I pray that you both will have a happy and long life together.

 

[Evening Mist]

We had a lovely cheap wedding too. We got married at our college in the chapel. Our bible teacher performed the ceremony. Music was performed by various friends and family members who wanted to bless us. My dress was simple and nice, and my husband wore a plain black suit. My bride's maids sewed their dresses. My mom made silk flower arrangements. A friend made a gorgeous cake and my mom helped to decorate it with more silk flowers. Our photographer was a friend of the family and charged me only his costs.

We held the reception in the conference room beside the chapel. We had nice finger foods -- fresh bagels, fruit, imported cheeses, pastries, etc. It was *awesome* food too. Coffee and punch. No alcohol -- it was a dry campus. A friend DJ'd and we rented the sound equipment from the school for cheap.

We used our regular old car and spent wedding gift $$ on our honeymoon at a bed and breakfast in the mountains.

The wedding was utterly simple, inexpensive ($2K) and *very* romantic.

 

[wildernesse]

Weddings don't have to be expensive. The most expensive thing about it is usually the reception--and that's the part that you can make most unique and have the most fun with IMO!

Also buffet finger food can be anywhere from really expensive and elaborate to very in-expensive and simple! A morning wedding and brunch or an afternoon wedding and light refreshments can be really pretty and simple. We had a really formal wedding, and we still served mostly finger food.

The most expensive thing about our wedding was the location--we got married at a garden and had our reception in the conservatory. If you get married in a church, it will be much less!

Make a list of things you want to have--and then see how much you can budget for each item. Start from there.

--tibac

 

[Wolseley]

The best word of advice I can give you: keep it within your means.

This means if you can't afford a wedding on the scale of something put on by the Kennedy family, then you're simply going to have to dowsize it. I realize that sounds harsh, but believe me, you don't want to start your wedded life together with $15,000.00 worth of debt incurred for a three-hour event.

Besides, you aren't going to feel any more married with a huge expensive wedding than you will with a small cheap one. Trust me on this.

[personal rant] I happen to hold the view that in this country at least, we tend to worry way too much about making everything perfect for "the wedding", and we spend practically no time at all in making sure everything is perfect for the marriage. [/personal rant]

 

[Evening Mist]

Dh didn't want to do this, but one idea I liked was the thought of a candlelight wedding, outside, at nighttime amidst trees and only a few close friends.

 

[IslandBreeze]

Here's how NOT to do it (and it's just a personal gripe from my bro-in-law's fiance) :

Wait two years after getting engaged so mommy and daddy will pay for everything including your honeymoon AND put the downpayment on your house.

Seriously? I had a not-so-elaborate wedding, and if I had to do it all over again, it'd be even less elaborate. Weddings are way too much work for such a short amount of time. Focus on the marriage, not the wedding.

 

[seebs]

We had 12 people at our wedding. Best man, maid of honor, their SO's, my mom, my dad, my stepmom, the minister, my wife's brother and his so... I think that's it. Oh, and us. But we were a bit distracted. We had it in our apartment, but this was when we had a really large place with hardwood floors. Only a few guests, simple food, and cheesecake with caramel for dessert. That was it.

But hey, eight years later, we're still together, so I guess it worked, huh. I'd guess our total cost was around $1000, and that's including clothes, new matching dishes, and everything.

 

[E-beth]

The nicest wedding (besides my own) was my college roomates sudde wedding before the groom shipped out to desert storm. All the bridesmaids wore pastel dresses and the groomsmen wore nice suits but not tuxes. We pretaped music that was meaningful to the couple and one person was in charge of tapes. You can buy CDs with wedding music on them (or check the library) For decoration and bouquets, check Wal-mart. At my wedding, I bought a white premade silk bouquets and added silk flowers in my other colors, then added long ribbons to the bottom. The fact that I created it myself made it really special to me.

A nice backyard in summer can be a nice reception spot. If you have the wedding between meals, all ya have to provide is munchies. At my wedding we bought mints and nuts and stuff at a warehouse club, and for the rehearsal dinner made a sandwich platter and everyone made their own sandwich and had chips and stuff.

If you need a dress, check consignment stores and ask around fro onwe to borrow. I begged and borrowed for both my wedding dresses and they both sit in my closet collecting dust. If you need one, I got a plus size ivory one I was thinking about putting on E-bay...

Anyway, it can be a great, memorable wedding on a shoestring. I had more fun putting a cheap wedding together for the second one (which we paid for ourselves) than putting up with the hundreds of details and expense of the first one (which the groom's parents paid for, and made us crazy in the process)

 

[lucypevensie]

Just don't go into debt!

My advice is do do things at your wedding that YOU will remember. Don't try to impress people. Remember it's not a show, but is rather a solemn ceremony in which your focus should be on God and each other. People don't always remember the details of other peoples weddings--the dresses, flowers, the meal, etc. That doesn't mean it has to be plain and boring, but just keep things in perspective.

Another tiny bit of advice: spend more $$ on your honeymoon than on the wedding. That's something you will definitely never forget, while the guests will most likely forget in a few years' time what they were served to eat or what color the dresses were.

JMO

 

[IslandBreeze]

Today at 02:04 AM lucypevensie said this in Post #10Another tiny bit of advice: spend more $$ on your honeymoon than on the wedding. .

JMO

AMEN to that! We spent double on our honeymoon than what we spent on our wedding! It was wonderful! We got to go shopping and see shows and do everything we wanted to do!

 

[Lacey0nes]

I guess you could say that I am in a simular, but different situation...

My husband and I have been married coming up on 20 yrs.  When we had our wedding, it was just us, the judge, clerk, secretary. 

We have planned on renewing our wedding vows, with family members and friends on our 20th anniversary this August. Things will have to be cheap, since we are on a tight budget and all.. But we do want alot of friends there with us, since family will be there also.  We just got baptized this last Sunday, February 16th, with our 16 yr old daughter.  I am sorta kinda hesitant to call the church to set up arrangements, because I don't want to get my hopes up too high and then not be able to afford it all... HELP PLEASE WITH SUGGESTIONS? 

 

[Evening Mist]

LaceyOnes -- would "potluck" spoil your concept of what it should be like? If you had the reception in the church's community room, and everyone brought food, it could be very inexpensive. And the focus should be on celebration, right? Not so much on a big showy spread.

 

[Lacey0nes]

This is true.. I will talk to my husband and bring that up to him... We just might do the potluck.  Thank you