How do you make friends?

[WiredSpirit]

I was always pretty much a loner. Until my junior and senior year of high school I didn't have any friends at all. I was picked on when I was really young in elementary school but after the third or fourth grade people pretty much just left me alone. Towards the end of high school I started making friends. It was easy as I could drive around and didn't feel like I needed my mom's approval on everyone I talked to. I always felt she was really judgmental.

I moved in with a friend from high school when I was 19 and that only lasted about a year before he got married and moved away. For the next 4 years I lived alone and made friends with some of my neighbors in the apartment building, although most of them were a lot older than me. We'd get together and watch football or things like that.

When I was 23 I moved into a house my mom owned out in the country. It was my grandmother's before she passed away. I hated living out there. It was 30 miles away from work and everybody I knew and it was really hard to get to know anybody out there. The churches were all really old people or families and occasionally I'd drive to town to go to my old church, but more often than not I just wouldn't go.

Starting in November my mom started talking about selling that house. I would have moved out a lot sooner if I didn't feel like she needed me there to pay the mortgage, so I encouraged her. My uncle and others had moved in there but nobody wanted to stay. She thought she could pay off a lot of debt with the equity in that house. I looked at apartments, but decided I'd move in with my mom for now. She has plenty of space and seemed to want me, or at least expect me, to move back in.

Now I'm back in my hometown and I have the same problem. I have friends at work, but they don't usually want to do anything outside of work. Sometimes we'll go out to lunch together, but the guys that are closer to my age are into video games and things I never cared too much for. I thought it would be easier here but in reality the people I used to know are all gone.

I didn't do anything for New Years and just came to this realization that I didn't have any friends the other day. I'm just wondering what is it I can do to make some real friends, you know, besides Craigslist. I'm getting depressed just about every weekend.

 

[Spirit_Star]

I can fully understand I was also picked on in elementary school pretty much all of 3rd and 4th grade. I have never been popular I did have a few friends in high school but I have lost touch with all them. One of my goals this year is to make at least two friends. I have prayed to the father because i really need some new friends and I'm a nice person but I can be shy/quit when I first meet someone and it typical takes me a while to truly open up and feel comfortable around someone


Have you tried meetup.com I recently found a meetup for my area and will be attending my first meetup end of this month. Hopefully there will be some cool people there and its nice because there will be some people hopefully from my area. I’ve never really had any friends who lived in my area. The majority of friends I’ve had all lived out in the county and I live in the city. Another thing is you can find things your interested in and then at least there is already a common interests.

 

[Macx]

I have found that getting involved in the community, like local politic type stuff is a good way to meet friends.

I like shooting & I found the community here has a really active group that advocates, trains & serves the community through the carry of firearms. It is a cause I believe in & the others too. We've had Open Carry breakfasts, supported women's rights charities, we even have a section of Highway we've addopted. Anyway, there are formal/organized things like that & also informal get togethers like "hey I am going to this and such shooting range at such a time, anybody want to meet up?" Anyway, it is a lot of fun & I've met some great people by getting involved in a political group like that. . . .

Of course being a biker, I can find connections that way too. Generally, anything you might be interested in, there is probably a local group & they likely exist on a message board like this one but on a smaller more local scale.

 

[explodingboy]

Well, for starters, you could do things you wouldn't normally care for.

Just because video games might not be your thing, doesn't mean it's not a good way to hang out and make friends still.. I never cared much for sports, but managed to spend the last few months hanging out with a friend watching American Football and Rugby non the less, the company you meet was what made the activity worthwhile rather than the activity itself.

 

[WiredSpirit]

Have you tried meetup.com I recently found a meetup for my area and will be attending my first meetup end of this month.

Yes, I joined a group on meetup. There sure seem to be a lot of abandoned groups on there, at least in our area. This group only meets once a month, and at this point I'm not sure if I can make the meeting.

 

[Nautica]

Did you never make any friends growing up? I have a hard time understanding this. Big world,many people in it and adding people to our lives adds LIFE. I've always worked and luckily maybe for me has a large family. That probably makes an impact in one's socialization. I couldn't have been a loner if I wanted to. 3 girls sharing one room.Yea. anyways hope n 2010 you connect with locals.

 

[WiredSpirit]

Did you never make any friends growing up? I have a hard time understanding this. Big world,many people in it and adding people to our lives adds LIFE. I've always worked and luckily maybe for me has a large family. That probably makes an impact in one's socialization. I couldn't have been a loner if I wanted to. 3 girls sharing one room.Yea. anyways hope n 2010 you connect with locals.

Really I didn't. I was an only child and I had a few people I talked to at school but didn't have money to do anything outside of school. My parents were too embarrassing when they were together and my mom was too judgmental after they split up to every have anybody over at the house.

 

[Aedin]

I'd be interested in advice too. I also have social anxiety disorder and depression, and not only do most people here not seem friendly or into videogames, most people I meet, they don't really get to know me, or they get sick of me.

 

[CTP]

friends are way overrated. play a video game, shoot some pixelated folks, feel better.

 

[Breakaway_republic]

friends are way overrated. play a video game, shoot some pixelated folks, feel better.

don't you think that answer's a bit well... wrong?

 

[goth4God]

personally I didnt have many friends until mid highschool. now that I graduated most of them moved. the only reason I have friends now is because I worked at a Christian summer camp and most of the people I met there live near me.

 

[DougyP]

I am right there with you man.

I have heard that most guys make friends at work. Well I work alone. I don't think I ever had more than two friends at any given time. Even to this day it is still true. I made friends with this one guy at church. He has had me over for football games and what not. But I don't really know him. He is probably the closest friend I have. He's bout 40 years old and I think he's just being real nice. But, he did throw out there that our church needed ushers. I start this Sunday.

I think this is going to give me a few oppritunities. Firstly I'll be able to do something for the church other than taking up space on Sundays. It is going to put my face out there. I guess that is a start. But when was the last time you ever made friends with an usher just because he was really nice?

I think I'm going through the same thing. I don't know how to make friends. I can't talk well in public. Social situations are hard for me. Talking to people is just not something I do well. There is no root cuase behind the issue. Socially, I just fail.

 

[dunjunn]

Hello
The way I make friends is just being friendly and funny.

 

[Boss_BlueAngels]

How do you make friends?

Scissors and glue...