How do you know?

[sparkle123]

how do you know you are an alcoholic or addict? I have always had problems with this and so could never stick with AA. Have been in tx multiple times usually dually diagnosed. Recently started drinking again (not hard drinking but small amounts regularly) and the obsession with getting more is really strong. Still it's hard to accept or believe that I have a problem. Will go to an AA mtg Friday just to see how it goes. ive been to a lot of them but I'm a bit more open minded now if only because I can't deny how much I obsess over alcohol and the problems it's given me. Still it is hard to know/accept and not just think that I've had some stressful life events or I'm over that phase now etc. anyone relate? Is it commonly like this?

Something that bothers me is that I see so many "functional" alcoholics out there or people who are heavy drinkers and they escape the stigma and just go on ... Living life... Drinking, etc. I feel a bit jealous, honestly. It seems like it's culturally accepted and makes you cool to a point but then I always tend to cross that point... Frustrating...

 

[Boogeyman07]

It is frustrating. I can relate. It's sometimes hard to help someone or give advice without knowing them personally. Don't have a drink for a while. Just stay sober, completely sober, don't even have 1. If you can't, then well now you answered your own question. Let me know how it goes

 

[ImaginaryDay]

The "obsession with getting more" can be a sign of trouble. it is not the only one, but taken together with others, can be indicative of a more serious issue. having a Bi-polar diagnosis as well can make obsessive episodes more frequent. During a depressive episode, the mind can remember what "works" to relieve the pain temporarily. Apart from any other coping mechanisms, the alcohol will do as a 'substitute'.
Also, being bothered by "functional alcoholics" might give a clue to the fact that you have tried, and failed, to function as they do - I don't know this, just taking a guess. If so, then you may be physically unable to drink. What I mean by that is your body does not process alcohol in the same manner as those who can drink safely. The chemical reaction, and how your body processes alcohol, is not the same as theirs.
Of course, I'm not a registered physician, but you might do well to talk to your doctor if you have concerns. They can shed light on what might be going on for you.

 

[com7fy8]

A.A. has literature for helping a person determine if he or she is an alcoholic.

But my personal opinion is you do not need to only be concerned about what label you have, what to call yourself.

Trust God to do what you need.

Our Apostle Paul says, "All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any." (in 1 Corinthians 6:12)

So, if you are under the power of . . . anything . . . not only alcohol . . . this is not scriptural. We need to always be submissive to God in His peace, not controlled by dominating and dictatorial drives and feelings for things or about people. But be sober by staying peaceful and gentle and humble and quiet. If anything in us messes us from this, this is a problem.

"rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." (1 Peter 3:4)

This is impossible for any of us! We all need Jesus and God's grace so we succeed in this

 

[Paul808]

Well you'll just know, if you try to avoid drinking and you'll find out that you can't. That's when you'll figure out you're addicted by alcohol drinking. Sometime you need to work hard to get rid of such addiction. It's not easy.

 

[sparkle123]

Thank you for the replies. I am thinking that I do have a problem, but denial is deep and it has been hard to break through consistently. Yes, every time I start drinking it usually goes ok for a while then something bad happens that reminds me of when it was really bad, and I get spooked and stop for a while... Like a few months or so. That has been my pattern since my last tx 5-6 yrs ago. I guess I need to find out what working really hard to get rid of this addiction means for me. But I have not drank since the 7th and hope to keep it that way. Maybe I just need to focus on accepting my problem, I don't know. Thank you all for sharing.

 

[sparkle123]

Oh and my doctor gave me naltrexone which made me feel sick... He thinks I should not be drinking due to depressive moods but was hesitant to call for life-long abstinence. I think he is skeptical of the AA model. So I am going to try to do sobriety and see how it goes this time around.

 

[com7fy8]

Well you'll just know, if you try to avoid drinking and you'll find out that you can't.

Simple I think this can be a simple way to test.

And I think you could get tricked into feeling like you're not being driven and tormented to drink and so it's ok to drink. But if this sort of justifying can take you to drink, when you've decided not to drink for a test period, this too could mean you do have a problem. Among other things, Sparkle, it can mean alcohol is getting too much of your attention.

It is not worthy of our attention, like God is, and learning how to love is.

But, of course, if you find yourself being driven by even pain and emotional trouble, this could be more obvious. But the real problem could be whatever is driving you with torment > God can cure us so torments can not get the better of us > 1 John 4:18.

But, I would watch out for the quiet thinking which tries to get you to drink. You do not need drinking to get special attention. What is it, really? God can do so more for us, and God is the One who loves us

denial is deep

So, you know this. Pray. And we care about you and pray for you. And any of us needs to be aware of how any of us could be in denial; we need to feed on your example of admitting this.

I find your sharing to be edifying me to also be more real in evaluating how I need correction.

After you stop drinking, still you will need more and more maturing and correction, of different things . . . I would say. So, I think it is good to be open to our Heavenly Father, about however He wants to communicate with you and correct you. Because as we get correction about different things, this makes us more real and strong for dealing with things that maybe have been a big problem. For example, if I am strong not to argue, my growing strength against arguing can help to make me also more strong so I do not have immoral things going on in my mind.

Yes, every time I start drinking it usually goes ok for a while then something bad happens that reminds me of when it was really bad, and I get spooked and stop for a while...

To me, this can mean God is convicting you so you stop. Thank You, God, so much, if You indeed are personally communicating like this with Sparkle! And please encourage her, as well as warn her. Make her strong in Jesus so she is strong for all problems and for all the good You have for her. We also need to be strong so we can handle good things without getting worried or depressed or hurried or stressed about what might happen to all the good we share with God.

Philippians 2:13-16 says to do every thing without complaining or arguing. And if we do this, we can "become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation". So, as we become strong so we do not argue or complain, this strength can take care of other things, too . . . so we are "blameless", "harmless", and "without fault" > right here in this world's "crooked and perverse generation".

So, getting our correction about things like arguing and complaining can make you strong against alcohol. And getting strong against alcohol can make you strong, really strong, in God's love so you become stronger and more and more compassionate and creative as a loving person, not only controlling yourself against problems.

Recovery programs can include how we need to become kind. This can make us strong the way God's love is strong, not only keeping certain problems from messing with us. And I understand, now, that love does not have me using anyone.

He thinks I should not be drinking due to depressive moods but was hesitant to call for life-long abstinence.

God is able to strengthen and encourage you so you are not giving in to depression. Personality pain of depression can push us to seek pleasure to make ourselves feel better; in our desperation we can go after alcohol but also other sorts of pleasures and escapes. So, if you stop the alcohol, you need to also be strong against just switching to another pleasure escape feel-good item . . . like food abuse or workaholic stuff.

We need to get strong in God's love which makes us safe and satisfied so it is easy to have self control while we discover His better things to do

 

[Leon C. Essex]

how do you know you are an alcoholic or addict? I have always had problems with this and so could never stick with AA. Have been in tx multiple times usually dually diagnosed. Recently started drinking again (not hard drinking but small amounts regularly) and the obsession with getting more is really strong. Still it's hard to accept or believe that I have a problem. Will go to an AA mtg Friday just to see how it goes. ive been to a lot of them but I'm a bit more open minded now if only because I can't deny how much I obsess over alcohol and the problems it's given me. Still it is hard to know/accept and not just think that I've had some stressful life events or I'm over that phase now etc. anyone relate? Is it commonly like this?

Something that bothers me is that I see so many "functional" alcoholics out there or people who are heavy drinkers and they escape the stigma and just go on ... Living life... Drinking, etc. I feel a bit jealous, honestly. It seems like it's culturally accepted and makes you cool to a point but then I always tend to cross that point... Frustrating...

I really sympathize with your situation - it can be hugely difficult to fully accept one's alcoholism, and the implications of that. Chief among these implications, is that we cannot drink with impunity - and should not drink at all. And that is precisely why denial has such a strong attraction to problem drinkers. You say, "I can't deny how much I obsess over alcohol and the problems it's given me"....which perhaps should tell you something profound about your condition - but then you immediately follow that with, "Still it is hard to know/accept....". Very True - it can be a huge challenge to embrace the truth, when the acceptance of the alcoholism label comes with the unwritten imperative to seriously address the issue.

You ask if anyone can relate. I suspect very few alcoholics avoid the denial stage, but I'm happy to recount my own experience, which I hope will give you some idea of how powerful (and absurd) denial can get. Many years ago, I reluctantly made an appointment with a senior medical professional - with a view to considering residential treatment. Having arrived early, I was shown into a comfortable waiting room - where I found a leaflet on the table entitled, "Twenty Things That Happen to Alcoholics". Having read it very carefully, I got up and left without even seeing the doctor - convinced I didn't have the problem. I had only experienced eighteen of those twenty things. As an aside, the two which hadn't happened to me were "serious brain damage", and "death"...either of which would have made it rather difficult to read the leaflet.

I'll be praying for you.