How do you know.....?

[scuba_mikey_pc_2008]

How do you know when God wants you to go out with a person rather than when it's just you wanting a date?

 

[kevlite2020]

I think for most people it is too hard to be able to tell. I have lots of desires in my life that would be easy to say, oh it came from God and it's His will, and maybe some of it is, but I'll bet you a majority of it is mine.

Just realize the important thing isn't to get God's approval on a girl before you take her on a date. The important thing is to invite God into your life and into that relationship. If you say to God, do you want me to date this girl? You'll be fishing for signs left and right and can be mislead very easily. But if you say to God, I'm taking this girl on a date and I pray You will reveal Your will to me and that You will be at the center of this relationship and that You will bless us both and help us grow in You, I think you'll find much better results.

 

[Sketcher]

I really don't think God does that very much, and people often project the God factor onto their situations. While it's possible, I really think God would rather tell us to help this person out or offer to pray for them, or something ministerial than tell us which person out of a pool of good people is the right person to date.

 

[overit]

God is not holding you like a puppet from some strings chosing your entire life for you, even who you date....you have free will...somehow I wonder how involved peopel think God is in every aspect of your life....I don't think He's sitting there wanting you to get his permission before dating somebody. JMO though.

 

[mina]

I don't think there's anything much inherently wrong with someone simply likeing someone else and wanting to date them. I don't think God tells people who to date. He allows people to come into our lives and then we can either use our good sense to recognize them and get to know them or we can sit in a spiritual box and think God will hate us for making a wrong move and liking someone. Is it a person that uplifts you and encourages you, then it's probably not bad to date them. Do they tear you down and misuse you? Then God probably doesn't want you to date them.

 

[scuba_mikey_pc_2008]

Thanks for clearing that up for me guys, that really helped. I'll know when I've found the girl for me because she'll be good for my walk with the Lord and I''ll be good for her walk rather than us going out together for the sake of it or because we want to satisfy our own selfish desires.

 

[kevlite2020]

Thanks for clearing that up for me guys, that really helped. I'll know when I've found the girl for me because she'll be good for my walk with the Lord and I''ll be good for her walk rather than us going out together for the sake of it or because we want to satisfy our own selfish desires.

My pastor said that the number one thing to do when faced with a decision, is to say, is it written? When Jesus was tempted by satan, He could have easily fell to any of the temptations given, but He answered each temptation by saying "it was written" then following with the appropriate Bible verse. If we pass things through God's word and don't allow ourselves to make a decision on things until after passing it through that test, decisions become much easier.

So when looking at someone to date, maybe a helpful thing to do would be to look at Galatians 5. What kind of fruit does she bear? Is it more of the spirit, or more of the flesh?

 

[welshman]

I think it depends on what we are defining as "dating", a "relationship" etc.....

We should look to the Lord in every decision we make. It boggles my mind to even think that I can go through the day as a believer without looking unto Him.

I am not saying that we should fast and pray over whether or not we have pasta or a roast dinner to eat after work...what I am saying is that any decision that dramatically impacts another believer or yourself should be done after prayer, and meditation over His Word.

Personally, I think the vast majority of us enter into a full-blown relationship far, far too quickly before we know what we need to about the other person. In the 2 years or so I have been on CF, I have seen this happen over and over and see so much hurt when things go wrong when they could have been avoided.

If you are getting to know this girl...keep doing so. That doesn't mean after 3 dates you know enough about her because you don't. Nowhere near enough. Be patient. Spend time together talking about the Lord. Spend time with her friends. Allow her to spend time with yours. Learn her goals, beliefs, ambitions, look to see how she treats others...

In the meantime, pray it over for a while and seek the Lord through His Word. If He gives you a peace and you don't have any doubts...then proceed and take things a step at a time. Whatever you do, don't rush into anything. If you do, you could end up in a really painful situation of breaking-up after getting more serious (and physical with her) after realising there are things about her you consider big enough to end the relationship.

Good luck Bro.

 

[E.C.]

A few anecdote-like things I've heard are these:

-The best relationships begin as friendships.

-If God wants two people to be together than He will bring them together and nothing will separate them.

-Take it slow. Do not jump into something too quickly. Think, pray, fast, and hope things over for some time.

 

[Orange_County_Chopper]

When he nudges me to ask that girl out, before some other chap does.