How do you know?

[inhisimage73]

As far as God's timing goes, I found that when I turned everything over to Him and "gave up", things started happening.

How did you "give up"? I am struggling with this. I don't know how to do this! Did you use specific verses...meditation....???

NOTHING is happening...and I'm very frustrated. I am attracting the wrong type of guys...even though I am very "out" and forthright with my faith, and the type of guy I'm looking for. But still, the Christian men aren't coming my way .

 

[jcj3803]

PDA mode again - no quotes...

How do I give up? Unwillingly, stubbornly, fighting every inch of the way...

Seriously, it is HARD to do voluntarily. The way that works best for me is to really work at it - pray for trust, wisdom and patience, review certain verses ("I know the plans I have for you..."), and use a little of the Buddhist concept of detachment, but don't take it too far.

It's easy when I become discouraged b/c at that point, I have figuratively thrown in the towel anyway.

A key is to become happy with yourself. If life is good without an SO, it can only get better with (a good) one. And if not, you're still happy in your singleness.

Are you divorced, never married, widowed? (If you don't mind me asking...)

 

[inhisimage73]

PDA mode again - no quotes...

How do I give up? Unwillingly, stubbornly, fighting every inch of the way...

Seriously, it is HARD to do voluntarily. The way that works best for me is to really work at it - pray for trust, wisdom and patience, review certain verses ("I know the plans I have for you..."), and use a little of the Buddhist concept of detachment, but don't take it too far.

It's easy when I become discouraged b/c at that point, I have figuratively thrown in the towel anyway.

A key is to become happy with yourself. If life is good without an SO, it can only get better with (a good) one. And if not, you're still happy in your singleness.

Are you divorced, never married, widowed? (If you don't mind me asking...)

I'm divorced...going on 4 years. What do you mean by detachment? I'm not familiar with Buddhist anything other than the fat little man with a smile on If you are meaning removing myself from certain social interactions etc...I've already done that...I feel really detached from the world as it is. I don't want to become a hermit...isolation depresses me. I'm a very social person

 

[jcj3803]

I'm divorced...going on 4 years. What do you mean by detachment?[...] I don't want to become a hermit...isolation depresses me. I'm a very social person

No, by detachment I mean to assume an attitude that whatever happens, happens. That your whole life is not tied up in being single or married or rich or poor or having this or having that. It's an attitude of "if this happens, good", "if this does not happen, that's also good."

There's a scene in a movie that I dearly love where two guys are sitting on horseback on a beach and one says, "But we've lost everything". The main character replies, "Has there not been one thing in your life that you would have given everything for?" And they both start laughing.

Perhaps I'm not doing a very good job explaining, but that's the way I think of detachment and surrendering to God's will.

Feel free to PM me if you want...

 

[Johnnz]

Sometimes God lets a person know very specifically about a partner. Most times he doesn't. I have seen far too many disasters when someone marries A because "God told me", without romance, getting to know each other well, and sounding out good friends and mature christians as part of their decision making process.

Relax, enjoy male and female company and be yourself.

John
NZ

 

[joyouspirit]

For five years I held on to my prayer that my ex and I would finally be together after his cheating, but stupid me, all the while I was hoping, he was with his mistress.

I have told myself I will never fall in love again, I got divorced. I provided for my children, that was my whole life so I thought. But God has his ways, I am now in a beautiful relationship with a man, I believe God sends people or let them cross your life for a reason, I don't believe in coincidences, as our pastor puts it, they are all God incidences.

God bless!!!

 

[PassionateOne]

No, by detachment I mean to assume an attitude that whatever happens, happens. That your whole life is not tied up in being single or married or rich or poor or having this or having that. It's an attitude of "if this happens, good", "if this does not happen, that's also good."

I read that book by Deepak Chopra called "The Seven Spirititual Laws of Success" (or the title is something like that) . And he talks about "The Law of Detachment".....it's very interesting, it 'touches' on not being attached to the outcome of any situation, live your life 'freely' trusting in God.

For five years I held on to my prayer that my ex and I would finally be together after his cheating, but stupid me, all the while I was hoping, he was with his mistress.

I have told myself I will never fall in love again, I got divorced. I provided for my children, that was my whole life so I thought. But God has his ways, I am now in a beautiful relationship with a man, I believe God sends people or let them cross your life for a reason, I don't believe in coincidences, as our pastor puts it, they are all God incidences.

God bless!!!

I don't believe in coincidences either, everything happens the way it's SUPPOSED to happen and only on God's timing. And the more I believe that, the more I see God's timing in progress with everything, in my life....it's kinda' freaky!!

 

[inhisimage73]

Sometimes God lets a person know very specifically about a partner. Most times he doesn't. I have seen far too many disasters when someone marries A because "God told me", without romance, getting to know each other well, and sounding out good friends and mature christians as part of their decision making process.

Relax, enjoy male and female company and be yourself.

John
NZ

Been there done that!

 

[Gimpy]

I truely do not believe you know until you begin to build a relationship with someone, whether or not they are the right one.

 

[jcj3803]

[...] "The Law of Detachment".....it's very interesting, it 'touches' on not being attached to the outcome of any situation, live your life 'freely' trusting in God.

Yes! That's exactly what I was trying to say.

I don't believe in coincidences either, everything happens the way it's SUPPOSED to happen and only on God's timing. And the more I believe that, the more I see God's timing in progress with everything, in my life....it's kinda' freaky!!

Yep, I agree 100%. The more I reflect on past events and sigificant others and "crises", the more I see that there were things to learn and I get a sense that there's a "path", so to speak. I can't see the future, but I do have a sense of excitement about it.

 

[Mark2010]

I suppose a certain amount of risk is necessary in getting to know anyone and it's impossible to predict if something will "work out" without taking that risk.

But it's also understandable that we go through periods of time in our lives when we aren't ready for a relationship.