How do you feel now?

[LostnFound]

I am curious about how people feel about their divorce or separation, after a period of time (as a result of a conversation with my mother). She never wanted to be single, and regrets BOTH of her divorces, even though she left the first marriage in fear for her life, and was "dumped" the second time, after 18 years.

My conversations with lots of other divorced people shows both sides of the coin, so I am curious.

 

[LostnFound]

Okay, I got the ball rolling. My answer is in response to my first marriage, not my current one. Although, I suspect my response would be the same if I left now, too.

 

[madison1101]

While God has certainly shown me many wonderful things about himself since my ex left me, I still wish my ex had not left me at all. I doubt I will ever be able to say that he left and I am loving it.

 

[LostnFound]

Well, so far, between the two of us, my theory has been proven. I'll share my thoughts when the poll ends. I set it for 30 days.

 

[Addicted2~Jesus]

I cain't answer your poll, there's not an option that fits really. I guess at th time she left an I woulda preferred she hadn't, but that was 5 years ago an in hind sight it was th best thin for us, er rather for me, I've never spoken er seen my ex since the day she left. I know for myself though, saddend it happened at all, but glad I'm free of it as well. In hind sight I reckon we were jes to far off base from one another an if we'd sat there an stuck it out, we'd have both jes been miserable.

 

[Jennifer615]

I was in a mentally, emotionally and spiritually abusive marriage. I stuck it out for 6 years, then was separated for 3 years before we divorced. I believe that if I stayed with him because of what some fundamentalists said, I would either be dead or in a mental asylum by now. I have now remarried, and am happy.

 

[bostonlass]

I voted that he left and I wished he hadn't. I was married for 5 years and he left me for another woman who he married 90 days after our divorce was final.

When I say that I wish he hadn't, don't get me wrong.......we had problems galore!!! For example,

1) When I went into labor with my first child, he didn't want to hear about it (I had two false labor incidents the week before) and so he made me go out to dinner with him. The poor waitress must have thought I was gonna have the baby right there because the contractions were 4 minutes apart and harsh. My water broke in the pkg lot on the way home but he still wouldn't take me to the hospital. Finally a neighbor came by to drop off some tools (God works in mysterious ways) and insisted that my husband take me to the hospital. He ended up taking me in and then leaving. I had to call him when she was almost ready to come out since it was 10pm by then and he needed to sleep. When I had her and came home, after a c-section and after getting what's called a spinal headache from the epidural, he left for the weekend to go drag racing. I could barely hold my head up from the spinal and I was in pain from the section but I was left alone, save a few hours of help from my mom who has MS, to take care of my baby.

2) My second baby was no different and I won't bore you with the details but after they were both born he never came home. He would leave the house at 4am to go to work and come home at 5pm for about 20 minutes to take a shower and then wouldn't even eat with us and would leave again until after midnight.

There's so much more but you get the picture...

So why am I sad he left? I got married "till death do us part" and that is the way I wanted it to be. Was I miserable? YOu bet!!! But I always believed there was hope for him. I would pray and pray for God to show him the light and for God to help me out of my pain.

I don't know. Now I'm alone with my two children and it's hard. It's very hard at times and not so hard at others but overall it's just not easy.

 

[Southern Cross]

I voted "I left and I'm loving it". After all the hurt we've experienced over the past few years, infidelity, lies, etc. it was so freeing to move out. Now my wife is slowly coming back to the place she was spiritually when I first married her. So I'm going back to try one more time. Sort of like going for a swim and not knowing if you're going to get bit my a shark.

If it works, praise God, I would be very happy! If it doesn't... I have found that there can be contentment and happiness living alone.

 

[Serving4Christ]

I said "I left and wish I hadn't." The only one so far. Allow me to explain.

I wish it could have worked out so I didn't have to leave. I don't like being divorced/separated. I never married to get divorced. I believe I married for all the right reasons, yet I believe I'm divorced/separated for the right reasons as well.

Had three innocent lives not been involved in my response to this poll, I think I would have easily chosen 'I left and I'm loving it.'

As sad as it may sound...I miss marriage, I don't miss my wife.

 

[LostnFound]

I sure understand that! Were it not for my 3 boys, I probably would be long gone.

 

[Rhoni10]

I said left and lovin it. I'm not happy that a marriage had to end but I'm happy to not be with my ex-husband anymore. I do get very lonely at times. But it is still better than what it was.

 

[LostnFound]

Bumping this up to try to get more responses. Thanks to those of you who have offered your opinion!