Ok so college like is getting me really down, it seams to be its just pressure pressure and oh yes more pressure! First of all thers the pressure from lectures about your courses then theres pressures from friends to meet up and be like them then theres the pressure of knowing the truth, knowing you can't give in to the world but if you don't then college life becomes to hard. I admit Ive comprimised alot Ive fallen in the the trap of lying my way out of things, because I just tried to tell people in terms they would understand but then the guilt of that was too much and I fell flat...I feel so far from God right now! The main thing is that in college students are s sharped minded that they can come back with an answer for everything. Also your not aloud to just slip up once, your not aloud to be human, it feels that way. Like because im a christian, they all seam to think that i dont do anything wrong but i do, and ive made so many mistakes. Im supose to be giveing a talk soon in a christian camp, and being a leader there but I just feel like I can't do it. So traped right now, if anyone has any advice would really be greatfull.
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How do you deal?
- Thread starter ruthanne095
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MinorityofOne
Faith without deeds is worthless.
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As a guy in college, I've got some pretty basic advice for you.
pressure from lectures
Your primary goal in college is to pass your courses. Try not to feel pressured by this responsibility, though - I'm able to work 30-40 hours a week, take 15 hours of classes, and do things with friends at least three nights a week and am relatively anxiety-free. Just remember that God is in control. :]
pressures from friends
Some of the people who I respect most are people who can say 'no' and don't just cave to pressure. Be confident in what you believe, whatever it may be.
knowing you can't give in to the world but if you don't then college life becomes to hard
'Give in to the world'? You don't have to do what other people say to be happy in college. I'm an incredibly independent thinker and still manage to make friends, do well in class, have fun, and even date! Out of curiosity, what sort of college do you go to? (Public? private? religious?)
lying my way out of things
Just be honest. Seriously. "Hey ruthanne, wanna go get drunk?" "Nope, let's go do (blank) instead." "Why?" "I don't like/want/believe in getting drunk, but I want to hang out with you."
ollege students are s sharped minded that they can come back with an answer for everything [sic]
They can, you're right, but you're still more than capable of making your own decisions. You're an adult now! You are not obligated to do anything that anyone else says to do.
You might also consider visiting the self-esteem forum here. It sounds like you might be experiencing a lack of confidence in yourself, and the people there can probably help you more with your problems than I can.
pressure from lectures
Your primary goal in college is to pass your courses. Try not to feel pressured by this responsibility, though - I'm able to work 30-40 hours a week, take 15 hours of classes, and do things with friends at least three nights a week and am relatively anxiety-free. Just remember that God is in control. :]
pressures from friends
Some of the people who I respect most are people who can say 'no' and don't just cave to pressure. Be confident in what you believe, whatever it may be.
knowing you can't give in to the world but if you don't then college life becomes to hard
'Give in to the world'? You don't have to do what other people say to be happy in college. I'm an incredibly independent thinker and still manage to make friends, do well in class, have fun, and even date! Out of curiosity, what sort of college do you go to? (Public? private? religious?)
lying my way out of things
Just be honest. Seriously. "Hey ruthanne, wanna go get drunk?" "Nope, let's go do (blank) instead." "Why?" "I don't like/want/believe in getting drunk, but I want to hang out with you."
ollege students are s sharped minded that they can come back with an answer for everything [sic]
They can, you're right, but you're still more than capable of making your own decisions. You're an adult now! You are not obligated to do anything that anyone else says to do.
You might also consider visiting the self-esteem forum here. It sounds like you might be experiencing a lack of confidence in yourself, and the people there can probably help you more with your problems than I can.
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SWigton87
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Ruthanne: Relax!
Minority is right. Just focus on your classes. Don't worry about being labeled "The Christian that doesn't want to have fun." Because it will end up that way eventually. Is there a Campus Crusade or intervarsity program at your school? Some times those groups can be very helpful.
If class is that stressful for you, maybe you're in the wrong major. I failed college Algebra twice while I was in general studies. Eventually I decided to move to culinary arts and my grades have seriously improved.
Just pray about it, relax, and don't be afraid to tell people what you believe.
Minority is right. Just focus on your classes. Don't worry about being labeled "The Christian that doesn't want to have fun." Because it will end up that way eventually. Is there a Campus Crusade or intervarsity program at your school? Some times those groups can be very helpful.
If class is that stressful for you, maybe you're in the wrong major. I failed college Algebra twice while I was in general studies. Eventually I decided to move to culinary arts and my grades have seriously improved.
Just pray about it, relax, and don't be afraid to tell people what you believe.
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JeCrois
Je Crois (zshuh kwah) = 'I believe'
I know this may sound like the less-obvious answer and maybe even the illogical answer but try to get involved in stuff. Despite how ironic it sounds to add more stuff to your already stressful life it really brings you to a sense of feeling important, needed, accomplished...sane!
I know in high school (or the equivalent thereof in Wales) they tell everyone to go out and do this do that all to build an academic transcript worth looking at for college admisions...but in college I tend to view the activities available as a relief and a mode of keeping folks balanced. For me, since God has blessed me in musicianship, I'm in band...and I can't tell you what a miracle it's been for me to have a vent for my building anxiety and having something to take my mind off things.
I understand though not everyone is musical...but there are usually a ton of things to do. Do you have a student-led Christian group to get plugged into? If not maybe you can start one...it's a great way to hold each other accountable. Are there community service opportunities? Sports, clubs, organizations?...It's a great way to meet new people and get to know the friends you already have on a different level.
But watch out...ivolvement can be taken overboard and you should never let yourself be torn between these things and the work you need to get done.
Try something out for a little while and see how it holds up. It's easy to get so wrapped up in your studies that you lose a sense of humanity and a way to connect with others or even with God.
I know in high school (or the equivalent thereof in Wales) they tell everyone to go out and do this do that all to build an academic transcript worth looking at for college admisions...but in college I tend to view the activities available as a relief and a mode of keeping folks balanced. For me, since God has blessed me in musicianship, I'm in band...and I can't tell you what a miracle it's been for me to have a vent for my building anxiety and having something to take my mind off things.
I understand though not everyone is musical...but there are usually a ton of things to do. Do you have a student-led Christian group to get plugged into? If not maybe you can start one...it's a great way to hold each other accountable. Are there community service opportunities? Sports, clubs, organizations?...It's a great way to meet new people and get to know the friends you already have on a different level.
But watch out...ivolvement can be taken overboard and you should never let yourself be torn between these things and the work you need to get done.
Try something out for a little while and see how it holds up. It's easy to get so wrapped up in your studies that you lose a sense of humanity and a way to connect with others or even with God.
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G
GlennK
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i speak from experience.
eh, you may slip, it may be a lil slip, it may be a massive underfalling.
regardless of all that it doesn't matter. it hasn't changed you. you know what you believe. you know God doesn't see you as a slip, He sees you as perfection and kind of person He sees you as no matter what you do or you see yourself.
you're going to slip, no doubt. because your mistakes don't define you, just make sure you don't beat yourself up when you do it, otherwise you fall into a nasty trap. when you slip just focus on God's goodness and not on how you messed up. trust me, if you beat yourself up it's only going to get worse.
i repeat: you're going to slip. when you do, make sure your focus is on how big your God is, and not how big your slip is. don't mind the slips. mind how big your God is.
eh, you may slip, it may be a lil slip, it may be a massive underfalling.
regardless of all that it doesn't matter. it hasn't changed you. you know what you believe. you know God doesn't see you as a slip, He sees you as perfection and kind of person He sees you as no matter what you do or you see yourself.
you're going to slip, no doubt. because your mistakes don't define you, just make sure you don't beat yourself up when you do it, otherwise you fall into a nasty trap. when you slip just focus on God's goodness and not on how you messed up. trust me, if you beat yourself up it's only going to get worse.
i repeat: you're going to slip. when you do, make sure your focus is on how big your God is, and not how big your slip is. don't mind the slips. mind how big your God is.
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Boss_BlueAngels
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How you deal with those mistakes is what defines you.
We slip, we stumble, we fall on our faces. It happens to everyone, at every stage of life. What matters is whether we get up again, and how we pick ourselves up. God is the one constant we have in life, and it's important that we never forget that, although, sometimes we will.
Worrying about mistakes we may make will only lead to actually making those mistakes. Live life one moment at a time, and just focus on that. Focus on what is ahead, get involved in other activities, and still have fun. You don't have to be the Christian that doesn't have fun. You can be the Christian who has fun in their own way. If there is something you enjoy more than getting plastered at the local bar, enjoy it with confidence. You don't need anyone elses permission or sign of approval.
I learned all of this from college, and specifically, my flying career. Life in the cockpit is a highly compressed version of daily life. When I begin to worry about mistakes I made 5 seconds ago, I begin making more, and more, and more, mistakes because I'm not thinking of what is coming up. When I make the mistake, and just move on, I go through the flight with only one mistake, instead of dozens. Same with life, acknowlege the fault and move on. It won't kill you.
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GardeningChef
I feel so unexperienced and naive lord guide me.
get pugged in to a college bible study. try to find some time for christian friends who are in college to. it helps to be around people that are dealing with the same things. Trust god and try not to worry. hope this helps.
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Goblin
Noobie
Do not try to do everything yourself. Get down and pray to God for His wisdom and guidance and help, and read the Bible daily! When you try to do things yourself, you will fall! Do not worry if things do not fall in place the way you think they should or if people agree with everything you say about your Christian beliefs. God is in control. Trust Him and allow Him to take care of you.
I suggest you find a good Christian group at college if you haven't already. They will encourage you a lot, more than you'd expect it to. It helped me a lot. The first thing every Christian should do when going to a new college is find a Christian group or organization and make some good friends!
I suggest you find a good Christian group at college if you haven't already. They will encourage you a lot, more than you'd expect it to. It helped me a lot. The first thing every Christian should do when going to a new college is find a Christian group or organization and make some good friends!
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