William has some wonderful advice.
The anger has been one of the symptoms of my illness that has been hardest for me to understand and cope with. It is so opposite of who I am and what Iwant to be all about. Immediately on the heel of a horrible outburst of anger would come crippling suicidality.
I will also share some of my stuff. . .some of my story first, then my ways of coping with anger, so if you want to skip the long and wordy story part, skip to the **** to get the long and wordy coping part
My anger for years was directed inward, I spent 90+% of my time in depression. Yes, Thinking you are to blame, worthless, hopeless, all the lesses up to being suicidal is a form of anger-anger directed at self, self hatred. I had gotten good at accepting that as the state of things. Then I began fighting that inward anger with God's truth-I am loved, worthwhile, a saint, salt, light, etc and through counseling began to learn how to grant myself the right to have my feelings and have approriate boundaries and to be responsible for myself and my life and not for making everybody else's life perfect (which by the way I never suceed at
) But through all of these times there were always times, when I would lose it and explode and try to fight for myself, only to be stomped to the ground and told how it was all my fault by my hubby. There were times I literally was on the floor crying saying things like do you really believe those things about me, do you hate me that much? And He would say things like "Look at what you have done to yourself, you disgust me."
It was then that the manias began exhibiting themselves in my life. Some might say that these fights where manias as well, who really knows. Sometimes the manias were just nice blue patches of feeling "normal". But the times of anger did remind me of those horrible fights with my hubby. At the same time my son was in his teen years and experiencing intense episodes of anger about such dumb little things like us giving his ssn# to a great uncle so that he could inherit some money. My son has screamed in my face nose to nose so loud that my ears rang and hurt for a couple of days. He is also bp2. I have been rageful about such things as my hubby setting a use dknive on the counter and getting butter on it and leaving it there.
SO one day I was cutting up a vegatable at the sink and my son started in on me. I have always fought hard not to lose control of my anger, but this one time I thought , you know what, I am just going to let go and let my son know what it feels like. So I did, I raged at him and what I found myself thinking about doing horrified me. I wanted to stab him with the knive in my hand so much I was shaking to control that urge. The anger didn't bother my son at all, but God used this to allow me to be diagnosed with bp instead of depression and to help me to realize what could happen if I did not get this illness, and particularly the symptom of anger controlled.
****
So that is my story. So how have I controlled it, or even how do I continue to try and control it.. It is a challenge, and forgive me for my lengthy posts as usual!!! But. . .
1) It started with the understanding of God's truth about anger. Jesus was angry and the Bible talks about being angry and sinning not and don't let the sun go down on your anger. So there is a God given purpose for anger. Anger is a gift from God to help us recognize sin in ourselves and in others. It is a warning sign to help us. So as William shared , if someone cuts you off in traffic and you get angry-you are responding to their sin of impatience, etc-so pray for them (In the Bible this is referred to as praying for your enemy and dumping coal on their head). Pray for yourself to give that anger to God for His vengance, not yours. All based on biblical truths.
When the anger is directed at your own sin, take it to the cross and confess, for He is faithful to forgive us. Also speak the same as God about your sin to those you have sinned against-that is hard!
Also it came with an understanding of this being a symptom of bipolar and something I had to learn to deal with. So medication and counseling was important for helping me cope as well.
2) I began to look for the emotion hiding behind the anger. I was angry at my hubby's comments because I was afraid of rejection, or feeling alone. I began to look deeper and speak the truth in love about those feelings. So I began using "I feel ____ " statements. and as I spoke the truth about my other feelings that were feeding my anger, my anger faded. But it took a lot of pratice to recognize I am feeling angry then to asking myself why? what else am I feeling, etc until I began to feel the deeper emotions first, or enough less anger to make it easier to spot the deeper emotions.
3) Owning my own anger was a part of all that. Not you make me so angry, but "I am angry", why???? That put me back in the control seat and not just a responder allowing someone else control of me and my emotions.
4) I had to be very self aware. I noticed a process in my anger because I fought it so hard, I was able to say, you know when I try to control my anger I eventually run out of energy to control it, then I go nonverbal and then I explode. So I sat my hubby down and explained it to him. I told him when I say this or this I am giving you warning signs that I am losing control. When I go nonverbal, shut up because the explosion comes next. And bascially we agreed to plans of what each of us could do at each stage of my anger, up to and including one of us would leave and spend the night in a motel for a cool down and then we would meet in public to try and resolve the issue. I did have to spend one night in a hotel, but our warning system has worked okay other wise. For myself , I have noticed this anger directed out towards others tends to occur during my mania, so I also watch for other mania triggers. . .stress, being to tired, or when music begins to be irritating. . .then I know to warn those around me that I am not doing so well and to get rested, or be vigilant in controlling myself or the situations I expose myself to. And to bathe myself even more in God's truth, His Word.
4) And then amazingly between the counseling and hardwork and medications, those feelings are much smaller and generally easier to control. Especially when I ask God to help bathe me with the Holy Spirit and to renew my mind In Christ Jesus and to help me take each thought captive, etc as William has expalined so well.
FINALLY AND MOST IMPORTANTLY,
WHEN I BLOW IT- Speak the same as God about this. It is forgiveable. GO to your coworkers/family/whoever and say I really blew it, I am soory, I sinned against you in my anger. Let them seee the power of weakness. Yep, I am a Christian and I struggle to do the right thing, and I blew it, but God has forgiven me, I hope you can to. See this is why we all need a Saviour. I am not better than you just forgiven and you can be too. What you can say is different in a friend or family relationship than at work, but you get the drift. God can be glorified thru this approach, becasue then we don't like like hypocrites, who say one thing and do another. We a demonstrating that the ground is level at the foot of the cross, come join me there.
The anger has been one of the symptoms of my illness that has been hardest for me to understand and cope with. It is so opposite of who I am and what i want to be all about. That immediately on the heel of a horrible outburst of anger would come crippling suicidality.
SO that's my two bits, may God use some of it to help you in your journey to follow in His footsteps!!!
Blessings and prayers as always,
Laurie
, basically it's head games and being 'messed' with in a not very nice manner). It hit me like a ton of bricks 
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