How do you console a near-suicidal friend?

[ILikePeanutbutter]

And he's athiest, too. I used to struggle with depression but not like this.



Says all he's ever capable of is failure. Looking at his life, thats acutally more or less true. (i dont tell him that of corse!) He has a ton of problems... Failing out of college, losing most of his friends, not being able keep new ones, work problems, huge faimly problems...... Yea. you get the idea. Most of this stuff is unfortunately his fault.

The best thing I can do for him is just be his friend for the time being, but how am I supposed to act when he tells me he is thinking about seriously commiting suicide? Just what do you say to that? Man....

 

[tapero]

Hi,

He can call a hotline where they really care about him, and also you can tell him he needs a counselor to talk to, and if you think he is suicidal don't hesitate to call 911 even if he might get angry at you afterwards as it could help him and save his life.

United States Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-2433

You are so wonderful to look for ways to find help. Keep praying for him too.

Love, Tapero

 

[Jeshu]

Good on you, always take suicide serious.
Your friend needs professional help, advising him to seek that help - and maybe providing the name of a good christian counsellor could do miracles for his well-being.

And please keep talking to this person. He sought you out and told you about his suicide plans. So to keep the conversation going is very important.


Gerry

 

[ILikePeanutbutter]

I have done all these things.... Tried getting him to find help, showed him the option of calling a hotline..... He resists it all.

I eventually did get him to go to a councilor, but he told me he wont "open up to him", because he feels uncomfortable. I pushed him to tell his councilor anyways.... He argues with me on everything.


He's atheist and dosnt like organized religion, so any spiritual guidance has to come from me because Im the only one he trusts and will listen to.


Basically, Im doing everything I can right now..... I just need God to give him some help.


but to my original question... What do you say to someone who wants to stop living?

 

[Amin]

I have done all these things.... Tried getting him to find help, showed him the option of calling a hotline..... He resists it all.

I eventually did get him to go to a councilor, but he told me he wont "open up to him", because he feels uncomfortable. I pushed him to tell his councilor anyways.... He argues with me on everything.


He's atheist and dosnt like organized religion, so any spiritual guidance has to come from me because Im the only one he trusts and will listen to.


Basically, Im doing everything I can right now..... I just need God to give him some help.


but to my original question... What do you say to someone who wants to stop living?

Try and ask him if he knows what he needs in his life to turn things around. Then try and help him find ways of accomplishing those things.

 

[mademecry]

How to talk to people who are suicidal is one of the issues I deal with on my website. Go to my site (http://mademecry.tripod.com) and go to the suicide section. There are several things there that might help you out. If you need more advice, feel free to email me.

 

[amused]

Am praying for your friend and for you too.

What has helped me in the past is finding a passion in life. Not what I am expected to do or what anyone else thinks I should do. Just finding that passion and running with it. No matter what I have failed in the past or the hopelessness I have felt. It helped alot because I do believe in Jesus. I don't know howI would have coped without Him. Creating stuff helped me. Arts, Crafts, Music. I always wanted to get my motorbike licence so I did. It all helped me. Its not all black and white though and everyone is different.

Your friend really does need professional help, I hope he finds the right help and somehow gets the willingness to do so.

 

[MadeFromScratch]

I sure feel for you. There are no easy answers.

Use your good judgement since you know your friend best, but here are some suggestions.

If you can catch him at a moment when he's feeling a bit reasonable and stable then maybe point out to him that his life won't change if HE doesn't change. You can't do things the same way over and over and over and expect a different outcome. It's just doesn't work like that.

Does he really love anyone in his family? Maybe point out what suicide would do to them. Maybe that would move him away from the idea a little, if not for his own sake, then for the sake of someone else.

Is he a success at anything? Is there anything about him you can point to that would give him hope? Anything other people look up to him for? If so then maybe point that one thing out, and how that successful thing came to be. Then maybe show him how he can expand on that into other areas of his life.

People are so different though and professional help is best. Some need to be slapped in the face. For others it would push them over the edge. I all depends on the character of the person.

If you can give him hope somehow then that is your best bet. I sure wish I could help more. I'll pray for him and you both. Prayer can be powerful. Perhaps God will look down on him and touch his heart. I'll pray for that, and I'll pray that God uses you to get through to him.

Is he aware that the choices he's made in life are what brought him to where he is now? If not then he may not know how things got to be this way and he won't have a clue what to do about it. I've been there. Sometimes "an honest answer is like a kiss on the lips" and "wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses" and "better is open rebuke than hidden love" (Proverbs).

It really depends on what type of person he is and what his mental status is at the time. I pray that God helps you use good judgement in helping your friend.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

I have done all these things.... Tried getting him to find help, showed him the option of calling a hotline..... He resists it all.

I eventually did get him to go to a councilor, but he told me he wont "open up to him", because he feels uncomfortable. I pushed him to tell his councilor anyways.... He argues with me on everything.


He's atheist and dosnt like organized religion, so any spiritual guidance has to come from me because Im the only one he trusts and will listen to.


Basically, Im doing everything I can right now..... I just need God to give him some help.


but to my original question... What do you say to someone who wants to stop living?

I usually ask why they want to stop living.

I'm guessing that he probably doesn't want to tell his counselor he is suicidal because he may be afraid of being hospitalized against his will. If he is not comfortable with his therapist then he needs to find another one. He may also benefit from looking into the different kinds of therapies that exist.

He should look into what things he can change in his life to make him want to live again.

Does he want to get back into school? Get a different job/career where he will be happier? Make new friends?

A good therapist can help him set and prioritize goals for himself as well as establish a plan of action so that he can accomplish those goals. They can work together to identify problems that have been previously keeping him from accomplishing his goals. A therapist can also help him take a look at his negative thoughts and show him how to challenge those thoughts.

 

[soyness]

Does he have a therapist? medication?
Also..... maybe hospitalization or partial hospitalizatoin at least.

He needs professional help then.

 

[Amin]

Does he have a therapist? medication?
Also..... maybe hospitalization or partial hospitalizatoin at least.

He needs professional help then.

Hi,
Let him know that someone cares for him, and you want the best for him.

Be there in his time of need. It's so important not to feel alone.
Chuck.

 

[pockleberry]

Sometimes the best thing to do is just to ask them why and be there to listen, ask if there is anything that you can do to help...Please make sure that you have some form of support because helping someone this depressed can put alot of pressure on you. Make sure you have someone you can talk to and pray with so you don't get overloaded with this guys problems.