How do you choose an accountability partner?

[Isatis]

I already have a personal coach, but still need a christian accountability partner. One of my 2012 resolutions is to have one, but I don't think I know how to choose one.

Two questions:
1-- I get along better with males than females in general, but want to make sure it is not wrong to choose a male when it comes to christian accountability. I believe I read somewhere that it was wrong.
2-- While looking at what accountablity questions looked like (Accountability Questions - Into Thy Word Ministries), I found some "too private", I mean does it have to be that way?

Help me, help me, help me

 

[NewUser777]

1-- I get along better with males than females in general, but want to make sure it is not wrong to choose a male when it comes to christian accountability. I believe I read somewhere that it was wrong.

It's generally better to choose an accountability partner who is the same sex as you. Less chance of any "unforeseen" problems. Ask your pastor. They will agree.

 

[parsley]

They make it sound so formal. Is this something that you really want, or are you just trying to follow advice carefully?

I have been a Christian for decades, and have not used official accountability partners. I do find people that I trust and confide in, but these change according to the situation and timing. You will probably find that it puts a person on the spot to ask them for a long-term commitment, unless they are also in search of one.

I have some agnostic friends who love the concept of accountability partners, and swear by them... but these are for specific weak areas where they know they need ongoing support.

Many people go to small groups, where a handful of male and female believers gather and support each other in scriptural advice and prayer.

The male-female thing... a lot of people are cautious about that these days. Gossip flies, it offends some people, and you'd want to imagine the worst case scenario and make sure you're not walking yourself into it.

 

[Isatis]

They make it sound so formal. Is this something that you really want, or are you just trying to follow advice carefully?

Oh, was actually seeking your input because I just don't have a clue what it "should" be like, but found some of their questions too private.

You will probably find that it puts a person on the spot to ask them for a long-term commitment, unless they are also in search of one.

I agree with you, maybe I should look for mutual christian accountability.
Can you please read this What does the Bible say on the importance of accountability? and let me know what you think?

The male-female thing... a lot of people are cautious about that these days. Gossip flies, it offends some people, and you'd want to imagine the worst case scenario and make sure you're not walking yourself into it.

thanks for the advice.

 

[Afire]

How about the Holy Spirit as your accountability partner?

 

[briareos]

Go about this with caution

You need to pray about it
You need to know this person well and have reason to trust them
You need to be able to trust them to not only not spread your business but to pray for you and support you and lift you up and be faithful to the commitment

Choose one in the Lord's time and place, do not run and get one just to have one.

 

[missjenni]

I believe that anyone (including us on these forums) who are dedicated, in relationship Christians can be accountability partners. However, if you feel the need to have one that you can meet with one on one, then pray the God will bring the person into your life. Maybe one day someone will ask YOU to be their partner Good Luck and God Bless You. Happy New Year also.

 

[parsley]

Can you please read this What does the Bible say on the importance of accountability? and let me know what you think?

Sure, this makes sense. But keep in mind that the trend in contemporary churches has brought the rise of megachurches, where pastors have had to delegate their roles as counselors to small group leaders and peer support teams.

Even pastors of small churches these days shoulder a large load; they are negotiating zoning ordinances and signage, checking out sound systems, ordering sidewalk melters, helping worship teams produce CD's, preparing powerpoints, uploading sermon files... their roles have expanded from the old days of teaching, marrying, counseling.

So they have to create devices like these mentoring partnerships where members counsel and support each other. The fellowship of saints should always have your back, but your priority is your relationship with God.

If you want an accountability partner, then by all means find one, and use others' advice above to choose one wisely. But don't feel obligated.

(Happy New Year!)

 

[Isatis]

Thanks everyone for your time and advice.
Wishing you all a blessed New Year filled with joy, happiness and peace!

 

[parsley]

I am enjoying your avatar room -- cast iron candle holders and crackling fire... looks like a new year party.

 

[MCab]

They make it sound so formal.

Help yourself to a prize off the shelf.

Back to the topic, just get some real good friends who are believers. True friends aren't afraid to let you know when you're slipping. And you will feel comfortable confiding in them.

 

[Bella Vita]

You as a female need it to be another female. You may get along with males better but trust me the things you will be talking about you will want a female. Plus it is Biblical for women to learn from other women. Really accountability just needs to be with someone you trust and can be totally transparent with. I have been in accountability now for about 2 months and I love it it has helped me grow tremendously. It has to be someone who is not afraid to tell you the truth they need to be firm with you and actually hold you accountable.

I am glade to see you are seeking this it is hard to challenge yourself in this way and put yourself out there but it is Biblical and it will help you grow. =]