How Do U Socialize?

[gracechick]

I have trouble socializing as I have a Social Phobia dx. My eyecontact is poor and I have Panic Attacks. I often OCD over the tinest social faux pas and am unfortunately a bit easy to offend, but my biggest hurtle is the anxiety that shows.
Any tips especially as Christmas and New Years equals family melas and such.

 

[joris]

sorry I don't really have tips...
To me, yea, am not really looking forward to all that "family" stuff around Christmas (I only like the part that's really about Jesus, which unfortunately will probably only be, Christmas eve)
:-/

 

[Sabertooth]

I have never really had a hard time around my family. I am comfortable with them and they seem used to me. Unfortunately, I don't live near family, other than DW & kids. It's community get-togethers that I feel most awkward at. Sorry, I know this probably wasn't much help.

 

[gracechick]

I do appreciate the support SaberT. I am generally ok around my family, but inlaws are tougher to interact with.
I should correct something. Over the years I have realised that maybe I am not as easily offended as I thought as it seems to be more in the difficulty of socializing. So if I was offended or somehow embarassed around a certain person interacting with them can be so much more stressful then socializing with others.

 

[CaptainSolo]

Why not make a game out of it?


The object of the game? For me, it's simple; copy NTs. Keep a playful mindset about it. You won't be exactly like they are, but admittedly they're much better than we are in social situations, so by doing this you're teaching yourself to pick up on all the little signals and details you'd otherwise not bother about. I read somewhere the Aspies learn more by imitation than instinct, as NTs typically have a social instinct ground into them, so this could be a way of increasing how effective your imitative learning is. The playful mindset is to your benefit, as it works to keep you feeling comfortable.

Having Asperger Syndrome I don't even make expectations of myself to get through any situation without some kind of social slip-up, though like you I'm not good with eye contact, and although I don't have panic attacks, I get very uncomfortable in some situations, and I quite naturally say and do the wrong things. That being said, the perfect social act is akin to the holy grial; most likely you won't ever obtain it, but it makes for a good movie

 

[gracechick]

A playful mindset? I hadn't looked at it that way before and I can see that as being quite helpful.

I know what you're saying. After years of being told by the professionals "I blow it all out of proportion" or "no one is even paying attention to how uncomfortable you are as they are worried more about themselves". I have findly become a bit more relaxed about it.
I now know that it is the way my brain is wired and there are others out there who understand and can empathize. So like you I figure I will most likely appear uncomfortable ect so why have a PA even before I attend the event.